Has The Blogulator Jumped the Shark?

So I was about to sit down and write a post about my latest pop culture-referencing dream, in which Ruben Studdard and I got into an argument over something and I called him a dick face, when I realized that if I posted that dream in detail, my long, deeply ingrained fear of the Blogulator finally jumping the shark would have come true. Like The Fonz in his motorcycle jump over a pool of sharks, The Blogulator would have taken a turn toward the horrible. I mean, The Blogulator may stoop low in its targets (Seth Green, Nick Hexum, Tom Cruise), but once The Blogulator feels the need to dish it out to former American Idol contestants, you knowz The Blogulator is running out of steam.

Then, I realized that The Blogulator already has jumped the shark. Chris is off writing avant-poetry, I'm having dreams about Ruben Studdard, and the masses are getting antsy waiting around for the next Blogulator post that never comes. So, in honor of our own shark jump, and because we haven't done a list for a while, here is the official Top 10 Blogulator Shark Jumps of All Time:

R.E.M. -- Michael Stipe performs with Dashboard Confessional
John Cusack -- Identity
The O.C.

But THEN I realized that even doing a top ten list about the top ten shark jumps of all time would, in essence, be us jumping the shark as well. I mean, we'd be jumping the shark the same way that The Sopranos have jumped the shark ("Brokeback Mafia"? Really? Seriously? Now you're not even ripping off mafia movies anymore?), or how Charlie Sheen has jumped the shark (yes, Charlie Sheen calling Denise Richards a "dick face" constitutes a shark jump), or how Phillip Seymour Hoffman's movie career is like so totally over after being the villian in MI:3 (except that Chris reports to me that the movie is "fun"....dammit, that doesn't work.)

So then, I realized the only way to stop a shark jump is to introduce...our special guest blogger of the week...please welcome, Eddie Vedder!

uhh....thank you kindly, mr. qualler....you know, we're livin in strange times......kind of makes you wonder, whats going through bushleaguer's mind.......kinda like a world wide....suicide........sometimes i look at the waves, and it makes me stare right into the sun......hey, check out the avocado on the cover of our new album, it represents my feelings on greenpeace, corporations, and cheesy pink floyd album covers.......

...But I cut Mr. Vedder off right there when I realized, "Hey, Qualler, I still do have a special place in my heart for Pearl Jam, let's not get too carried away here hatin' on things you actually like!"

And then it hit me. What are Chris and I doing? Hating on things we like? Hating on things we hate? Hating on everything? It's like...all this hate...is going to drive us...off that...hey Chris, watch out for that cliff!!! (cliff....cliff......)

Will Chris and Qualler survive impending cliff? How will Chris cope when he comes to terms with his intense love for Tom Cruise cinema? What will Qualler think when he realizes that having a dream about Ruben Studdard is just plain creepy? Will this blog ever really blog again? Find out, on the next shark-jumping episode of Chris and Qualler's Pop Culture Blogulator.

This entry was posted by Unknown, on Thursday, May 04, 2006. You can leave your response.