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bringing up the ratings.

Not to trump my triumphant return to the Blogulator, but I just checked our site meter, and the ratings have slipped to woeful levels. People, I don't know how many times I have to remind you: read the Blogulator, or fear the wrath of skinny white music snobs coming to complain about how nobody reads your site anymore because you haven't updated it a lot lately and you haven't dropped as many Google bombs lately. How do you expect Chris and I to reap the rewards of our Google AdSense account if you fools don't foolishly click on the foolish links? Oh, and, crossing my fingers for a sweet link at AdSense, check this out: Man, Lindsay Lohan used to have huuuuuuuuuuuuge boobies! I'd love to see some naked celebrities right about now.

Which brings me to my next point: lately, we at the Blogulator have come to notice that many of you readers out in Blog-o-land have come to our site to find answers to your most integral questions. Some of those questions include, but are not limited to, "Is Nick Hexum Gay?" "Do you have the Wayne 'Love Is A Marathon' mp3 from the already-cancelled show Love Monkey?" "Tell me more about the porno film, Backside To The Future!" Why, readers all the way from Pittsburg, Kansas, to Schaumberg, Illinois have been asking us all of these very worthy questions.

So, to answer your questions, here we go:

"Is Nick Hexum Gay?"

Nope. He just likes little boys in Led Zeppelin shirts.

"Do you have that Love Monkey mp3?"

Hell no. But holy crap, isn't the movie Date Movie awful? Yeah, it got a Metacritic score of 11. Note to movie-studios: America has bad taste, but shit still taste like shit.

"Is Backside To The Future both worthy of the Back To The Future Series and of jerkin' it to it?"

We don't know, you sicko. But man, the Winter Olympics sucked this year, didn't they? I mean, they suck every year that they happen, at least every year without conspiracies and people named Jeff Gilloulie and what not. And Sasha Cohen falls down.

Now, if that doesn't bring our ratings up, I don't know what will.

  1. Blogger Unspar! | 8:51 AM |  

    Two things.

    One: The worst thing about the winter olympics was that I missed both the luge AND the bobsled.

    Two: How come I did not see your "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, especially when the absence is attributed to tracking down Stipey" post until today?

  2. Blogger qualler | 4:57 PM |  

    One: I disagree -- the worst part is that I didn't talk about the Winter Olympics while they were happening, thus the chances of people finding our site by Googling us decreased.

    Two: Because of magic.

  3. Blogger The Hero | 11:06 PM |  

    The Olympics this year wasn't all that bad. Like women's curling, that was fun to watch. I never realized that the sport requires you to always be bending over, until I started watching women's curling.

    Cuh-riss!!!

  4. Blogger Lauren | 9:41 AM |  

    Hey, one of my friends stumbled on to your blog yesterday via Google, so don't worry- innocents are still very much at risk of blogulation.

  5. Blogger nicole | 6:01 PM |  

    Hey Chris and Mark,
    Would you guys host the Oscar party at one of your apartments? We have a conference all Saturday, so I'm afraid I'll have too much work to do to host anything on Sunday!

  6. Blogger chris | 6:49 PM |  

    nicole, fret not. either mark, i or pfeif-stain will host the party. but you must bring the mechanical arm!

    hey you sickos, that's not what you think it is. sickos.

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