Old Clothes In Movies Inspire Rambling Blogulator Posts.

After seeing a commercial for this snoozefest the other night, Chris, Pfeiffer and I discussed how much we all hate movies that have people wearing old clothes in them. And it's true...movies with people in old clothes are about as boring as watching a double feature of Failure to Launch and Date Movie, then going home to check out the new Donald Fagen of Steely Dan solo record (yeah, that's right, Steely Dan, you're not untouchable from the wrath of The Blogulator!) But at least new movies with people in old clothes have one *big* advantage to them. (Pun intended!)

For example, every movie that Kate Winslet was in because she was wearing old clothes. "Ooh, whither hither o thitherith me?" That's what she's saying, that old clothes-wearing ho-bag. Well, Kate, snooze me another one, because you're BORING. (But check out what that dress does to her suddenly ample bosom! Ow owww!)

And speaking of Old Clothes, what's up with this "Five" guy in the new movie, V for Vendetta? (I mean, DUH, V is the ROMAN NUMERAL for the number FIVE!!) Guess what, five? If you weren't such a freak-faced loser who collects jukeboxes that in the future play such classic songs by artists such as Cat Power and Antony and the Johnsons, and didn't DOUBLE IT UP by wearing OLD CLOTHES and talking in a weird British accent, you would have been able to kiss Natalie Portman with your mask off! Oh, and if you didn't shamelessly rip off Guy Fawkes' actual life, Darth Vader's death, and the ending of Fight Club, and not look like a freak-show version of The Phantom Of The Opera, you wouldn't have to blow up buildings and stuff.

And speaking of old clothes, Enterprise Rent-a-Cars have clearly been wearing the same old clothes that they wore while I watched Muppet Babies and Garfield consecutively in the mornings when i was -7 years old. I saw a commercial for Enterprise that was EXACTLY THE SAME AS IT'S BEEN FOR YEARS. "Hello, Enterprise? I'm at the repair shop; I need to rent a car!" WOW, THAT'S ORIGINAL. Oh wait, I better give them props this time -- instead of it being a white woman who needs the rental car, it was an Asian woman. So, we now know that not only white women are in need of rental cars...women of ALL nationalities.

How progressive of you, you old-clothes-wearing bastards. Now get on some new clothes and quit causing me to post rambling Blogulator posts.

This entry was posted by Unknown, on Saturday, March 11, 2006. You can leave your response.