Pop Culture Implies More Than Just TV

It was touch and go for a while here on the Blogulator. I bet you wondered if we'd ever write about anything else besides the glorious warmth of the boob tube and all its damning hypocrisies. Well, and I may surely get hell for this, I'm going to throw this train off its demented-yet-enjoyable course and attempt to get back to that other kind of visual storytelling that enraptured all twenty-six of us Americans that were actually excited to watch the Oscars this year (cue foghorn). Yes, it's just like TV, except you have to drive in the cold to get it and you pay for only two hours of it rather than a whole month of it (or an unlimited amount of it, if you're like me and thrive on mere rabbit ears and the Internet, natch) - that's right folks, I'm talking about...THE MOVIES!

Semi-Pro: Now when I admitted to a friend that I had seen, say Fever Pitch, in the theaters, I got a giant smile and a slap on the knee as a response. Surely it was all in jest and deep down they were probably thinking, "at least it wasn't my money," but nevertheless it was a positive reaction that didn't make me feel awful inside. Admitting to a friend that I had just seen the umpteenth Will Ferrell sports parody Semi-Pro in the theater (on opening weekend no less), however, garnered the reaction of a dragon-sized cringe, an awkward pause, and an "oh...really?" I could easily explain myself, noting the girlfriend's inexplicable yet fierce loyalty to Ferrell, but in the end, I didn't refuse when she suggested seeing it on a Saturday afternoon when I really had nothing better to do. His movies began as nothing more than a series of crude jokes with a silver oddball lining that kept both the frat boys and the absurdist fans ever so mildly satisfied. Since then, and it feels laborious to have to say this, the crudeness just tries to outdo itself, as if people still respect the Farrelly Brothers. Because of this, the absurdism wanes exponentially and all we're left with is one funny scene involving Andre 3000 in a seahorse costume and an overused bear attack motif that alternates between annoying and genuinely hilarious. Oh well, still better than The Heartbreak Kid. Although I'm almost positive even the Farrelly Brothers wouldn't attempt to splice one of their movies with awkwardly dramatic scenes with Woody Harrelson and Maura Tierney.

Penelope: As was half-demonstrated above, I either tend to see movies in the theater that are the wayyyy bottom of my list of movies I actually need to see, or as proven by the just-now-getting-over-it Oscars fever I suffered from, I rush to the cineplex to see movies that are at the wayyy top of my list of movies to see. So it was really odd and simultaneously refreshing to see this, a movie that was smack dab in the middle of my list. I didn't really have a reason to see it other than the fact that I've been crushing on Christina Ricci since Buffalo '66 (don't tell all ye who talk smack about her forehead) nor did I have any reason not to see it, other than the fact that it's been shelved for a year-and-a-half, which is never a good sign for a wide release. It looks benign enough - modern fairy tale with a twist that isn't grating or overly kid friendly like Shrek and brushed over with a Burton-wannabe aesthetic, but not to a nauseating degree. Also, it's intelligently silly without being self-referential or meta-quirky, which is super tough to pull off in this oh so consciously postmodern society we live in (or is postmodernism like sooo 1994?). Regardless of its breath-of-fresh-air quality, the film has indeed very obviously seen the dim light of an editing booth one too many times. It feels maddeningly choppy jumping from one scene to the next and there are extraneous minor characters leaping through the camera lens every ten minutes. And while some are welcome like the almighty Peter Dinklage playing a pirate newspaperman, there is also a fast-talking Vespa delivery girl played by Reese Witherspoon, who is conveniently also one of the film's producers - so awkward seeing her in such a small role nowadays; we really do live in a star-centric culture. All in all, however, a decent movie that could have been terrible, but whose heart was in the right place and didn't offend as much as it surprised (if I had gone into it thinking it would be awesome, it would surely have been a grand disappointment).

Quick March Preview: Tomorrow, one-half of the men that claimed my 12-year-old heart by pitting Will Smith against aliens in Independence Day will create another conceptual adventure epic that no one will care about with 10,000 BC. Also, Mahhhh-tiiiiiin Lawrence goes on a College Road Trip with the little Cosby girl and a pig - I might get roped into this one since I missed the last movie he put out way back in February (did you know Martin IS Sheneneh AND Big Momma?!). I'm so sick of Jason Statham and I don't even know why, but The Bank Job (self explanatory premise) is getting early buzz despite its uninspired title and the fact that I just found out about it yesterday.

March 14: The director of the Blogulator's #1 movie of 2006 commits suicide by making his own Kevin Costner-as-pee drinking post-apocalyptic manfish movie, Doomsday. On the same day, some jerks miraculously turn a story that takes 3.5 minutes for a 5-year-old to read into a 90-minute feature with Horton Hears a Who.

March 21: Owen Wilson will almost get me in the theater to see a kid's movie with Drillbit Taylor, where he plays a (probably not) hilarious bodyguard to nerdy children, but I'll never muster the energy, which will be for the better. American studios prove that they'll greenlight any horror movie that can be rated PG-13 with Shutter, a brilliant combination of that Michael Keaton static movie and every J-horror adaptation you've ever (not) seen.

March 28: Kevin Spacey leads a team of attractive white kids to bank some hella dough in Vegas casinos by counting cards in 21, which is based on a true story about Asian people who actually did it without looking like complete DBs. And yes, I know it has already been released like four different time with different titles, but the long-awaited parody Superhero Movie is released the same day - FINALLY. Ryan Phillipe and director Kimberly Pierce (Boys Don't Cry) churn out a depressing Iraq movie called Stop Loss at this time too, and while I respect Pierce, Phillipe drives me bonkers mad. This ultimately brings us to the only promising film to be released in March - Run Fatboy Run. Michael Ian Black and Simon Pegg writing a movie together? I'm trying to not build any hype, because I want this experience to be as pure as pure could possibly be. Just saying - this could be the light at the end of the tunnel, folks. Fingers crossed. Wait...directed...by...David...Schwimmer. Is this a bad thing? I really can't tell.

P.S. I will get the final 5 songs in my Top Songs of 2007 list updated on here within the next 24 hours.

This entry was posted by chris, on Thursday, March 06, 2008. You can leave your response.