Chris from The Blogulator is proud to announce his nominees and winners of the 2012 Fantasy Oscars for those of us already or about to be heartbroken/disappointed with the 2012 Real Oscars. Fantasy award recipients are listed first and bold in each category.
Best Picture:
The Tree
of Life
Beginners Hugo
Attack the Block
Meek's Cutoff
The Descendants
Midnight in Paris
50/50
Moneyball
Drive
Best Director:
Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life
Mike Mills for Beginners
Kelly Reichardt for Meek's Cutoff
Alexander Payne for The Descendants
Nicolas Winding Refn for Drive
[Note: Martin Scorsese is only not nominated for Hugo here because he's already won statuettes in this alternate reality for Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, GoodFellas, and Bringing Out the Dead. Yes, Malick probably would have already gotten the award in this reality too, but don't think too hard about this. It's my fantasy.]
Best Actress:
Michelle Williams for Meek's Cutoff
Kirsten Dunst for Melancholia
Jessica Chastainfor The Tree of Life
Kristen Wiigfor Bridesmaids
Charlize Theron for Young Adult
Best Actor:
John Boyega for Attack the Block
George Clooney for The Descendants
Brad Pitt for The Tree of Life
Joseph Gordon-Levitt for 50/50
Andy Serkis for Rise of the Planet of the Apes
[Note: Gary Oldman is only not nominated for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy here because he's already won statuettes in this alternate reality for Sid & Nancy, JFK, The Fifth Element, and Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban]
Best Supporting Actress:
Shailene Woodley for The Descendants
Alison Pill for Midnight in Paris
Melanie Laurent for Beginners
Anna Kendrick for 50/50
Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids
Best Supporting Actor:
Christopher Plummer for Beginners
Corey Stoll for Midnight in Paris
Ben Kingsley for Hugo
Bruce Greenwood for Meek's Cutoff
Phillip Seymour Hoffman for Moneyball
[Note: In my fantasy world, there would also be a category for "Best Child Actor" and the award would go to Hunter McCracken for The Tree of Life. Otherwise he would eligible here.]
Best Original Screenplay:
Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life
Mike Mills for Beginners
Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris
Will Reiser for 50/50
Kristen Wiig & Annie Mumolo for Bridesmaids
Best Adapted Screenplay:
Alexander Payne & Nat Faxon for The Descendants
John Logan for Hugo
Steven Zaillian & Aaron Sorkin for Moneyball
Hossein Amini for Drive
Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Best Animated Feature Film:
Winnie the Pooh
[the others I haven't seen yet can fill out this category]
Best Original Score:
Alexandre Desplat for The Tree of Life
Cliff Martinez for Drive
Mychael Danna for Moneyball
Kristian Eidnes Andersen for Melancholia
Alberto Iglesias for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Best Cinematography:
Emmanuel Lubezki for The Tree of Life
Wally Pfister for Moneyball
Robert Richardson for Hugo
Newton Thomas Sigel for Drive
Hoyte van Hoytema for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Sorry if this makes me sound dismissive, but I honestly could not care less about the other categories. I could probably choose a few for Best Film Editing if/when I end up watching some of these movies multiple times. And I do think the unique budget-conscious design of the aliens/monsters from Attack the Block should put that movie in contention for Best Visual Effects. And Hugo should win for Best Costume Design. Oh and duh, Bret McKenzie & The Muppets should win Best Original Song. And they will. So that's good. Drive should win the sound award it's up for, but it probably won't, because 62-year-olds don't like the sound of skull crushing.
10. Contagion [wr. Scott Z. Burns, dir. Steven Soderberg]
Contagion might not stand the test of time, but it’s the best high-quality, high-budget
thriller of the year. The film is great
because it answers the simple question What
would happen if a deadly pandemic actually struck the world? without devolving
into the disgusting or the ridiculous.
The disease, Meningoencephalitis Virus One, takes its victims quietly without
zombie-like symptoms or disgusting face lesions, and its silence is what makes
it so effectively terrifying. Contagion examines every facet of the
outbreak—from the CDC and US government response with Kate Winslet to the
third-world repercussions with Marion Cotillard, from the conspiracy bloggers
with Jude Law to the implications for a middle class family with Matt Damon—with
precision and intelligence. The cast is
star-studded (my comment every 30 seconds: “Oh wow, s/he’s in this too?!”) but
full of excellent actors that add gravitas without sensationalizing. In terms of Hollywood blockbusters, Contagion is definitely a winner. [Sam]
9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 [wr. Steve Kloves, J.K. Rowling (Book), dir. David Yates]
Whereas I heralded The Muppets for its lack of CGI, the Harry Potter series pretty much justifies its existence. As somebody with very little investment in a story to which he already knows the ending - and one who prefers Harry Potter when he’s in school, winning and losing points for his house and attending dances, as opposed to embarking on yet another epic fantasy quest - the visuals inherit a lot of responsibility. And I gotta say, Emma Watson delivers, albeit less so than in the topless kissing scene of Part 1... I semi-jest, but seriously: These are kids’ movies? Well I guess, because as my 8-year old friend Billy told me: “At the very least, this film was a fitting, populist swansong for some of Britain’s greatest thespians. Kudos, Maggie Smith.” Billy’s a square. [DoktorPeace]
8. Martha Marcy May Marlene [wr. & dir. Sean Durkin] Martha Marcy May Marlene is, for one, a genre flick, a creepy psychological thriller about a woman who is struggling with her sanity after a traumatic stint in a cult. But, it's also a lot more than that. It's also about how women can be victimized by the patriarchy, regardless of whether it's in a culty cult cult or in "mainstream" society. And it's also about the dangers of our society wholly rejecting any standard way of living outside of the accepted form of living. It's about all of these things, and it's hauntingly shot in bright, 35mm-style colors. While the overall "maybe our normal society can be bad like cults are bad" message is occasionally a bit too on-the-nose for my taste, the overall method of delivery is a truly creepy, frightening, get-under-your-skin powerhouse. And who knew Elizabeth Olson, younger sister of Mary-Kate and Ashley, could act? She is a powerhouse, as is John Hawkes (as usual), the magnetic and truly bad cult leader. [Qualler]
7. Midnight in Paris [wr. & dir. Woody Allen] Midnight in Paris is enchanting in every way you'd never expect a Woody Allen film to be enchanting. For months and months I'd heard and read about people being left dizzy with the magical comedic aspect of this movie and while I didn't dismiss the notion, I thought it would be mildly pleasant at best and nauseatingly precious at worst. But I was wowed with the rest of 'em, convinced that Owen Wilson is a better Woody Allen than Woody Allen is (his anxious charm is more effervescent and effortless than his author's to the nth degree), convinced that Paris was photographed more vividly and joyously here than in nearly any other movie save for maybe Before Sunset, and convinced that the nostalgic ride through literary and cultural figures of the early 1900s was not only sweet nerdy fun but also downright brilliant. This wasn't the forced esoteric Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure that I was half-expecting at all. And despite all this general warm fuzziness that I felt throughout the film, it was the meaty center of it all that most and best surprised me. The commentary about the nature of the creative mind and nostalgia is one most near and dear to my heart, especially in this period of growing older and further away from "the good ol' days" (which I guess is something that could be applied to everyone), and certainly made me wonder and question my own pop desires as much as it allowed me to revel in them. [Chris]
6. Melancholia [wr. & dir. Lars von Trier]
"Life is only on Earth...and not for long." Melancholia is the latest disaster/melodrama/character piece/sci-fi film from writer/director Lars von Trier, and it is also the first movie I've been to see three times in the theater since Titanic. Like Titanic, we all know the ending before the story begins: the world will end when hit by a rogue planet, and life on Earth is going to end. Don't worry about the physics of how that would work, that's beside the point. There's no trying to stop the planet from hitting ours, just like there's no hope of steering that ship around the ice burg. When a disaster movie doesn't center on heroes figuring out how to save the day we're left with our heroes (or anti heroes? it's always hard to tell with Von Trier) will cope with the knowledge that their lives are about to end, and there's nothing they can do to stop that. The story is told in three parts, a prologue, which is a beautifully filmed sequence of slow moving images set to glorious music, reminiscent of the prologue to von Trier's last film, Antichrist. The second part (Part One: Justine) tells the story of a melancholic bride (Kirsten Dunst) on her wedding night. She has to deal with a sister (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and brother-in-law (Keifer Sutherland) who just want her to "be happy." She also deals with pressures from her boss (Stellan Skarsgard) who I think represents American greed--cause you know how von Trier feels about American--and maybe even petty preoccupation with concerns that quickly become insignificant when the end of the world is neigh. Even groom (Alexander Skarsgard) seems at first to really love her, but is really only concerned with his own needs. The wedding falls apart bit by bit, ending in the groom and his parents leaving while he tells Justine that "thinks could have been different." Lines like this one underline the theme of free will versus destiny and even while absorbed in the story of the doomed wedding we remember that planet...the last part is titled Part Two: Claire and it takes place some span of time after the wedding and involves only Justine, Claire, and John (Dunst, Gainsbourg, and Sutherland) and young Leo in their secluded estate while we all wait for that planet to hit. Von Trier shows us how difference character types deal with the end of the world, and as much as I enjoyed part one, I think it was in part two that I really fell in love with this film. The slow realization that there's nothing to be done leads Sutherland (whom I think von Trier also uses as metaphor for patriarchal blind faith in "science" and "reason", maybe another dig on American ideals?) to suicide, Gainsbourg to panic and attempted flight, and on Dunst, who couldn't handle "regular" things like a marriage, to become the strong, calm leader and to look out for Leo. The entire thing is beautifully shot and set to a grand, moving score. I could talk about it for hours, but I also recall people leaving the theater half way through, so again if nothing else Von Trier is giving us something that creates controversy and it's worth experiencing it and forming your own opinion. And of course ask yourself: how would you cope with the end of the world? Or maybe Von Trier would have us ask: how ARE you coping with the end of the world? [Brigitte]
5. The Muppets [wr. Jason Segal, Nicholas Stoller, dir. James Bobin]
The only Judd Apatow movie I’ve enjoyed is Forgetting Sarah Marshall, so I had no qualms about Jason Segel helming this Muppets revival. What did worry me was that this franchise I enjoyed so much as a child would be smothered by modern metasociety. True, playing off popular culture has always been a Muppet touchstone, with classic skits like "Pigs in Space" reliant on the then sci-fi fad, but it’s the pork puns that truly make it timeless. Aside from a blah rap sequence and a somewhat-misplaced chicken cover of Cee Lo’s “F*** You,” The Muppets pretty expertly cherishes the innocence of its own nostalgia, with purposely vanilla human characters and simple story (aptly focused on nostalgia preservation) emphasizing the uniqueness of Kermit and the gang. Celebrities like Jack Black are featured to be sure, but the story is never about the celebrity. It’s about life being a happier song with talking frogs and pigs that are by no means computer-generated in it. [DoktorPeace]
4. Drive [wr. Hossein Amini, James Sallis (Book), dir. Nicolas Winding Refn] Drive begins as
the most wonderful Sofia-Coppola-esque portrait of the nameless Driver (Ryan
Gosling), the calmest, dopiest, and hottest getaway driver, and Irene (Carey
Mulligan), a hardworking mother whose husband is in prison. It’s beautiful, plodding, suspenseful, and
ambiguously romantic, portraying its characters and setting (Los Angeles) with
gritty, tragic emotionalism. That is
until the film rips that all out from under us in the second half, dissolving
into stylized and graphic violence that disrupts the complacency of the film as
much as it upsets the characters’ lives as the world of Los Angeles organized
crime begins to destroy its victims. The
violence is shocking but not illogical, and the film’s escalation from one type
of stylization into the next is not a mark of inconsistency, but the
intentional breaking-down of the character’s overly-romanticized world. I’ll admit that the violence is sometimes off-putting
and possibly too sensational, but the soundtrack, the acting, and the
stylization makes this the one of the best films of 2011. [Sam]
3. Meek's Cutoff [wr. Jonathan Raymond, dir. Kelly Reichardt]
Do you like slow-moving old clothes movies that seemingly don't have
much of a plot and that ultimately leave you hanging? I do. And if you
do, too, then you'll love Meek's Cutoff, starring my personal favorite,
Michelle Williams, and directed by Kelly Reichardt (director of 2008's
Wendy and Lucy, also starring Williams). In similar narrative style to
Wendy and Lucy, Meek's Cutoff features little dialogue but plenty of
intriguing (in)action and character development as we follow three
families traveling west on the Oregon trail in 1845. The film takes its
name from character Stephen Meek (Bruce Greenwood) whom the families
hire to lead them through the Cascade Mountains. Of course, he knows a
special route, and of course, they become lost and end up wandering
through seemingly endless desert, getting into minor adventures along
the way. Sort of a spin on the exodus narrative, the families run into
one trouble after another and seem to become more and more lost and
become more and more hopeless as their journey to nowhere progresses.
The film ends abruptly and we are left to wonder whether they ever reach
their destination, and are also reminded that the story was never about
reaching the destination. It's more about how individuals develop
trust or overcome mistrust and how they manage to maintain relationships
when survival is at stake. [Brigitte]
2. Moneyball [wr. Steven Zallian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin, Michael Lewis (Book), dir. Bennett Miller] Moneyball holds the esteemed distinction of being a sports movie that doesn't just eschew sports movie cliches but also manages to be very much about the sport in question, and not just a sports movie only in name. And all of this is coming from someone that has never been able to become a sports fan. The beauty of the film, apart from the obvious things like Bennett Miller's austere yet always glistening direction or Aaron Sorkin's quippy bon mots (which don't come a mile a minute like your usual Sorkin fare, thus giving each more space to breathe, which is a welcome change of pace ), is that it's a character piece in which baseball is the end-all be-all of that character. Brad Pitt plays Billy Bean with an odd kind of steely diffidence, which makes his obsession with the game that much more magnetic, like we're constantly trying to both figure him out and figure his team out along with him for the whole ride. It's a quiet yet involving journey and potentially the most curious film of 2011. [Chris]
1. The Tree of Life [wr. & dir. Terrence Malick]
For as much of a big deal that was made about Malick's masterpiece to end all masterpieces being narratively impenetrable, The Tree of Life is actually a remarkably simple film with a simple thesis, beautifully depicted in the poetic, meditative opening sequence. As delivered by Jessica Chastain's character: "The nuns taught us there are two ways through life. The way of nature and the way of grace. You have to choose which one you will follow... They taught us that no one who loves the way of grace ever comes to a bad end." Actually, the entire film is extremely meditative, which makes sense given Malick's overall approach to filmmaking. He wrote the script in a nontraditional way, reportedly with words, sketches, and pictures included. And, he told his cast that they were his "co-directors" (ha!) so as to make the completed film a truly cohesive, collaborative piece of work. Okay, so the film is a brilliantly dense, (sometimes somewhat) impenetrable quasi-narrative that reveals itself best over multiple re-viewings and over coffee with a group of friends. But, that is what I believe Malick is getting at - our Earthly problems, miracles, joys, and sorrows are just a microcosm of the vastness of the entire universe. What happens to us when we are born, when we die, and how we exist within that framework is an enormous, mind-bending question that cannot be answered, but if we live a life following grace, we cannot come to a bad end. That this overall thesis is presented over some of the most gorgeous cinematography, music scoring, directing, and acting of the year is a fantastic bonus. [Qualler]
First, a recap, then we'll get to the new releases for the final month of 2011. In the midst of unpacking a new home, plus readying said home to host a birthday soiree and a holiday family get-together, I managed to only catch The Muppets and J. Edgar this month. I could have and should have seen many other movies besides J. Edgar, but for a Clint Eastwood movie and for a biopic, it was decent. This is the trouble with both Clint Eastwood movies and biopics. You get something like Unforgiven or Capote and you start thinking maybe the director/genre knows what he's doing. And then every time a big new one comes out I want to see it, but am invariably left at least minorly cold and indifferent. I did kind of like Hoover was so unlikeable as a protagonist and yet still fascinating, but I pretty much stopped thinking about it when I woke up the next morning. I did do a project on the Lindbergh kidnapping in middle school, though, so I enjoyed seeing that recreated Hollywood-style. The Muppets, on the other hand, was predictably wonderful, especially the songs by Flight of the Conchords' Bret Mckenzie. And now, December's film releases both wide and limited for Minneapolis (with "Will I See It?" percentages in parentheses)...
Dec 2nd: I guess I don't understand why there are no wide releases this weekend. No one wants to go against the heavy hitters from Turkey Day? Pssh. Wusses. My Week with Marilyn (78%) is playing at the local art house cinema and I'd see that this weekend if the Minneapolis Underground Film Festival wasn't going down. I found out today that I'm moderating a bunch of the Q&A sessions there, so that'll be fun. I would like to see Michelle Williams in fancy dresses though. Also, there's a foreign movie out. Women on the 6th Floor (8%) is a French period flick about what happens when Spanish maids mess with some uppity rich Parisian couples. It's kind of like Tower Heist, but probably more boring and less offensively bad humor.
Dec 9th: Jonah Hill is a fat unlikely babysitter in The Sitter (53%), despite his svelte new physique he's been showing off on the late night talk shows. Some fat people look weird skinny and he's one of them, says the fourteen-hundredth movie blogger. It looks like Adventures in Babysitting redux and I'm kind of okay with that - if it's funny. I am not okay with New Year's Eve (6%), however, which is the next in a line of hyperlink holiday films like Valentine's Day, even threading through with Ashton Kutcher's character I believe, though I don't care enough to fact-check that. Back at the indieplex, Le Havre (82%) seems like a touching film in the vein of The Visitor, wherein a stowaway boy aboard a cargo ship winds up under the care of an elderly shoe shiner. Cue me bawling in the theater as quietly as possible. The Man Nobody Knew: In Search of My Father (77%) seems like an intriguing documentary, helmed by the son of former CIA director William Colby, who sets out to uncover the agency's controversial past before and through the Nixon administration. I love political thrilling!
Dec 16th: I never saw the first one, so I doubt I'll catch Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (46%) in the theaters, but I guess its predecessor was entertaining? Robert Downey, Jr. and Guy Ritchie seem to be an ideal match. Great style, little substance. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (Gutrot%), however, really doesn't even compare, though it's also an unnecessary sequel. At least Sherlock is a canonical figure. Jason Lee, you ruined my childhood. Rent The Chipmunk Adventure instead where the real, animated characters travel via hot air balloon. It's awesome. Shame (89%) sure does seem like a sexy movie. Michael Fassbender is a sex addict whose predilections are obsessively and frequently indulged until a flame shows up that screws up his meticulously created private world of constant pleasure. Weird! Titillating! Steven McQueen directs! Young Adult (68%) reunites the Juno duo of Minnesota-bred screenwriter Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman, and was partially filmed around here. Charlize Theron is whatever the female equivalent of "manchild" is and tries to win back some dude's heart. The trailers make it look like Cody's taking her dialogue more seriously, but also it looks mega-glossy, so who knows. Tomboy (70%) is also French and looks better than the other French movie above. It's about a little girl who's so fed up with being mistaken for a boy that she just rolls with it. I can relate! Ah, skater hair from 1995. The Artist (100%) is probably the most blogged about indie flick of the year and likely with good reason. Yes, it's a gimmick, but oh how I've longed for a modern silent film. Doesn't even matter what it's about.
Dec 21st: The wife and I saw the trailer for the American remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (92%) for the umpteenth time recently and at the end she turned to me and said, so deadpan it hurt, "Ohhh it's David Fincher? I would have never guessed." I of course fell for this ruse and was subsequently laughed at. Still, I want to see it basically for that reason even though I have conflicted feelings about Larsson's trilogy and American remakes in general. In other "I'm a sucker" news, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (81%) will likely not be as fun as the first three installments of the franchise, directed by De Palma, Woo, and Abrams respectively, but I'm curious to see The Incredibles' Brad Bird take a shot at it. Is it just me or does Spielberg's motion capture attempt at the adaptation of the French comic The Adventures of Tintin (74%) just look like a video game? Not sure what the hubbub is, but it's Spielberg, so we'll find out I assume.
Dec 23rd-25th: (Jam-packed holiday week of releases, so it's split up for sanity.) Speaking of Spielberg, he's also got his live action epicWar Horse (67%) coming out this same holiday weekend, and while it looks like quintessential sap for the war movie veteran, there are still somehow shots in the trailer that are undeniably moving. Then there's the new Cameron Crowe flick We Bought a Zoo (86%), starring Matt Damon who does what the title says he does and the plural pronoun implies there's a family of some kind. I think it's telling that the billboards say "from the director of Jerry Maguire" instead of Say Anything or Almost Famous. Jonsi from Sigur Ros does the score though, so I'm there. The Darkest Hour (65%) is another alien invasion movie, but I think maybe the first in 3D, if that floats your boat. It doesn't mine, but I still like alien invasion movies, and I like Olivia Thirlby and I don't hat Emile Hirsch or Moscow as a setting. Precocious child alert! Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (53%) tells the story of a 9-year-old genius who goes on a search for what the key his father left before being killed in 9/11 unlocks. Heart-wringing, I'm sure, but emotionally manipulative is where I might draw the line, depending on Oscar bait/buzz. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (99%) has also gotten tons of buzz, but I think potentially more rightly so, as it stars Gary Oldman as a cold war-era spy, which is basically where the log line needs to end to get me on board. Lastly, the Freud/Jung biopic by weirdo/genius auteur David Cronenberg, A Dangerous Method (96%), finally gets released after a month-long postponement here in the Minneap.
P.S. Per usual, big thanks to the dudes at Uptown Theatre who provide me with advance indie release dates for the local Landmark Theatres!
I feel about Thanksgiving the way Brigitte feels about Halloween: pure, unrepentant, almost-bordering-on-evil joy. What ISN'T there to love about Thanksgiving?! Let's see -- it's the only holiday that pretty much requires people to stay at home. You get two paid days of work off for it. There are football games on TV. There are road races to be run. And, there is FOOD SO MUCH FOOD AND TURKEY IS DELICIOUS. And the holiday even encourages naps! Amazing. You're the best, Thanksgiving.
And, like Chris & Jerksica did for this week's Blogulator Radio, it's a time to give either sincere (or spitefully sincere) thanks to the people, places and things that make your life so full of thanks. And we here at The Blogulator have had a long and rich tradition of being thankful for things in pop culture. Here are the pop cultural things that I am most thankful for in 2011.
Music! R.E.M. 1982-2011.
Oh, R.E..M. My favorite band of all time, the band that most inspired me and moved me and made me dance. I am grateful and thankful for your long and storied career. You had your ups and your downs, but you fought through all of them to just be who you are. And when you decided it was time to quit, you unrepentantly quit, with no apologies and no winks that, maybe, just maybe, they'd be back for a reunion tour to line their pockets. In recent interviews, Mike Mills commented on the fact that they knew going in that this year's Collapse Into Now would be their last, and recently re-listening to it, it makes all the more sense. Thanks. R.E.M.
Movies! Longevity For Old Guy Movie Directors (like Werner Herzog and Woody Allen)
It's not always great when old guys keep directing movies forever. But, we can be grateful for the constant quantity of work that gets produced by some directors. (Hey Paul Thomas Anderson, you could maybe learn a lesson here. Don't give me this "Wah, nobody will finance my movies" BS. You need to produce films. It's okay if they're not totally perfect. Just produce anything at all, ever. You were supposed to be our generation's Scorsese, and instead Scorsese is our generation's Scorsese.) And like clockwork, we can expect an annual film in the local arthouse movie theater by Werner Herzog and by Woody Allen. Herzog's most recent documentary Into the Abyss is a typically hypnotic, thoughtful, beautiful and tragic look at death row inmates. And PBS's recent Woody Allen documentary on American Masters is a fascinating, rare look inside Mr. Allen's personal life and his filmmaking process. Dammit, even Terrance (Terry is what I call him 'cuz we're buds) Malick is churning out work like crazy these days. Quantity over quality! It's the Thanksgiving way!
Television! Teen Dramas
I admit that I'm on a bit of a teen drama kick. Revenge, though it's not technically a teen drama, kind of follows teen drama tropes, is my favorite new drama of the Fall (haven't seen Homeland yet, though! Somebody Showtime me!) Catching up on The Vampire Diaries is pretty amazing, and I admit I am totally finding Elena a very attractive lady. And who knew Ian Somerhalter was such a showstopper? Most importantly, I have finally started to watch Brigitte's Dawson's Creek DVDs from the beginning, and that first season is a solid B/B+, with nary a scent of the intense schmaltz that occurs in later seasons that gave me such a gross feeling about the show. The transition from self-doubting Joey Potter to bland Joey Potter from season one to season two is an extremely disappointing one, but Joey Potter season one might be making my proverbial Top 10 TV Characters list after seeing her entire arc in that first season. Video Games! NBA 2K11's MyPlayer Mode
I'm extremely sad about the NBA season being locked out with a possibility that I will have to wait until next Fall to see Ricky Rubio toss alley-oops to Derrick Williams and Rick Adelman grumpily pointing at players while that crazy guy who has courtside tickets at Target Center hits the court with his newspaper. But, it's sorta a'ight since I just finished my rookie season as the eventual starting PG for the New York Knicks. Amar'e Stoudemire is a point guard's dream teammate, what with the sweet inside-outside game the two of us have together. (Dude gets double-teamed, tosses it back out to me on the perimeter, and hits the three pointer like WHOA.) Plus, in real life, Amar'e is a total hipster. And I wear a headband and look like a total hipster on the court, so we're buds. Video game friendship is much stronger than any real life NBA lockout could ever be.
Friends!
Seriously, guys, my friends are the best. From the IRL friends who have written on The Blogulator with me since 2005(!!!), to the Twitter friends I have made, to all the other cool people who do cool stuff, I am thankful. Here are some of the Blogulator posts of Thanksgivings past.
Pop culture is fun, y'all. Sometimes bad stuff happens in pop culture, like the potential cancellation of Comunity and Cougar Town. But sometimes, pop culture can bring us good stuff. Let us all give thanks to the thankful things we have to be thankful for. Now, eat some turkey and go to see the Muppets movie.
I feel like I should start this post off with some sort of pun about time in which I remind you that time is literally money in the film, In Time. Like, “I promise I won’t waste your time.” I say this because the first third of the movie made sure that its audience understood that time is literally money. It’s a pretty radical and confusing concept, so let me spell it out for you: People age until they’re 25 and then they get one extra year. The people have a limited amount of time to live, so they exchange it for various goods. What’s more, they are paid for their labor with more time. So when a person says, “I don’t have time for that,” in this society, they are referring both to the literal idea of time as a force that moves consistently forward and the currency that they use. Time is money. Money is time.
But seriously, if you run out of time, you die. You “clock out”. Say you miss the bus on the way to pick up some time from your son. If you don’t run, you could run out of time. And then you’d die. This happened to Justin Timberlake’s mom. She was running, she ran out of time, she made an awkward noise, and she died in his arms. So time is actually time, an ever-ticking clock counting down to your death. If you keep getting time, you keep living. If you run out of time, you die.
Thus, while time is money, it is also just time. DID I BLOW YOUR MIND?
I know this might be a bit much to understand, but luckily for you, the writers of this movie not only painstakingly explain the time-is-currency concept, but continue to beat you over the head with it until you get it. Or until it’s not just Justin Timberlake’s failure as a dramatic actor that makes you want to leave the theatre.
On a somewhat related note, Justin Timberlake is a totally unconvincing crier. This is the first time he really gets into the weeping and the wailing that I’ve seen, and I get the feeling that he’s never done it before, as if he emerged the womb as douche-y and self-important as he is now. Timberlake does well in roles that are basic variations of his bro-tacular self (The Social Network, Friends with Benefits, Alpha Dog), but when it comes to being dramatic, it’s totally un-engaging. Even when he tries to act dramatically in limited way, like trying to make us believe that his character fears “clocking out” (as opposed to how Timberlake would react to imminent death, which would be to simply smirk and say, “I’m too cool to die”) , his shiny patina of douche elicits nothing from his audience but boredom.
But Timberlake isn’t the only downfall of this movie. I suppose that the whole time is money thing is supposed to be some sort of profound metaphor for the realness of poverty and the rigidness of our modern conception of time, but honestly, the way that this movie bastardizes an actually interesting idea is completely distracting. Riddled by poor acting, poor writing, and an awful production quality, the film spends so much time trifling with the superficiality of this future society that it totally gives up on producing any sort of coherent or valuable plot.
(Speaking of which, apparently in the future, we’ll be really into remaking vintage Dodge Challengers and then covering them entirely in matte. Who has time for side mirrors, man? Hydraulic touch doors, though? That’s a necessity.)
While I’m guessing this movie wanted to leave me with questions about Robin-Hood-esque nobility and other complications characteristic of cerebral action movies (What does this mean for society? Is this our natural course as capitalist consumers?), I instead spent a lot of time asking questions about how a movie with such a great idea and seemingly large budget could be created without some sort of continuity editor. Surely someone should have pointed out that they keep changing the way they exchange time between people. Or suggested that, since this movie is so annoyingly obsessed with time, maybe time should pass as quickly in the film as it does in real life (so much time ticking towards death is spent kissing in slow motion). Or perhaps pointed out that the script never quite explained how Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried got their hands on that random armored truck. (Seriously. It just randomly appeared. Either that or I fell asleep.) I wish I could say that this film took on too much, that it neglected the continuity and plot details because the over-arching themes were just so important, but I can’t. I feel like the producers just decided that Justin Timberlake’s face was enough of a draw and decided to get drunk. And honestly, that’s probably a better use of your time as well.
Last month I began my preview of the month's films with a little reflection: "Wow, I can't believe it's October and I still haven't seen Drive, Moneyball, and/or 50/50." Well, now it's November and I did manage to see those three movies, but not any of the big releases from October that I wanted to see, such as The Ides of March, The Thing, or In Time. From what I've heard though, this isn't that big of a deal. Especially because Drive, Moneyball, and 50/50 are all now in my top ten of 2011 and I can't imagine any of those others would be. Yes, they're all great, though both Drive and 50/50 have their weaknesses, I believe. Now, onto the box office and art house hopefuls of this month, each with "Do I Wanna See It?" percentages in parentheses...
Nov 4th: My students are all psyched for A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas 3D (43%), though I still have yet to see the first two in the series and have only a passing curiosity in the Cheech and Chong for the generation right after us. On the other hand, I unabashedly want to see Tower Heist (92%) and I don't care who knows it. Yes, it's Brett Ratner, the "auteur" of the Rush Hour franchise, but dammit, I have a weird nearly inexplicable love for crass Eddie Murphy and wacky caper flicks - plus Matthew Broderick! It's been a while. The Son of No One (54%) features Al Pacino almost assuredly chewing up scenery as the mentor Denzel detective to Channing Tatum's Ethan Hawke character, near as I can tell. I like the title, and corrupt cop flicks are another weakness of mine, but I still am not sure how Tatum is different from Ryan Phillipe. Elizabeth (of Mary Kate and Ashley) Olsen is practically an Oscar lock for Martha Marcy May Marlene (98%), so I am required to see it. It's about an emotionally devastated woman who tries to go back to her normal life after leaving a cult. Sounds delightful! Okay, this is going to get old because The Double (51%) is yet another example of a soft spot for me: the conspiracy political thriller. Richard Gere and Topher Grace plus the CIA, FBI, and assassinations isn't much, but damned if I like shouting, plot twists, and intrigue. Like Crazy (49%), however, is the kind of movie that I really don't typically enjoy, but is likely still going to be good because it looks like it's done with care and gravitas, not just for kicks like the others. A straight romance featuring unknown leads about deportation? Meh. Lastly, The Mill and the Cross (52%) is an adaptation of a famous painting, because apparently that's a thing you can do. Rutger Hauer though! Cool!
Nov 11th: Tarsem, director of The Cell and The Fall, finally does what he was meant to and makes an unarguably horrible 300-esqe epic film about battles and Greek gods and stuff.Oh well, at least Immortals (39%) will be pretty to look at sometimes maybe kind of. Dustin Lance Black, scribe of Milk, tries his hand at another biopic with J. Edgar (88%), this time with Leonardo DiCaprio in the Oscar-baiting role. I'd usually say yawn, but you know, Academy Awards blah blah. Also, there's the FBI movie crossover link, so I'm in. Jack and Jill (v0m%) has little to nothing that I want to exist in the natural world, much less to get me into the theater to see it. I seriously thought it was a joke movie trailer when I first saw Adam Sandler playing identical twin brother and sister. Let's leave it at that. Werner Herzog manages to get two documentaries in this year and I'm far more psyched to see Into the Abyss (96%) than I was to see Cave of Forgotten Dreams. This one features conversations with a death row inmate and his family for two hours. That's it. And I'm sure the narration is awesome. Revenge of the Electric Car (57%) chronicles the resurgence of the once-thought-to-be-dead gas-less vehicle, which is only vaguely interesting. What's way more interesting/strange is the list of people interviewed for the doc: Danny DeVito, Anthony Kiedis, Stephen Colbert, and many more. So weird.
Nov 18th: Bella gets preggers, or so I've gleaned, in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 (1%) and I tell you what, now that I know I'm going to be a dad, I have just the slightest fear that if it's a girl I will have to end up watching these movies at some point. Unless they're seen as lame 10-12 years from now by everyone. We'll see. Happy Feet Two (8%) reminds me that the first one won the Animated Feature Oscar and that's probably why there's a sequel. Or was that March of the Penguins? Oh well. Don't care. Penguins dancing is probably cute I guess. Alexander Payne returns with The Descendents (94%) starring George Clooney as a father trying to bond with his daughters after a tragedy befalls the family matriarch. I love half/hate half of both Payne and Clooney's work so this will be a crapshoot, but I'm once again required due to...you guessed it, Oscar buzz! And Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey (89%) is self-explanatory and therefore completely awesome. I just hope it doesn't taint my pure view of Sesame Street.
Nov 23rd-25th: Apparently Martin Scorsese has a movie coming out this year and it's called Hugo (91%), though my memory has no knowledge of such a thing. It looks like a kid's movie about an orphan and a fantastical world and a mythology regarding his parents. Sounds positively unfamiliar! Groan. Scorsese, you're lucky you're Scorsese. The Muppets (99%) has received some harsh words from Fran Oz regarding its loyalty to the franchise and Jim Henson's ghost, but so many of us who have been longing for a new Kermit movie for years will have to not care in order to live in denial a few days longer until we see it and have our hearts crushed. Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud go head to head in the forms of Michael Fassbender and Viggo Mortensen in A Dangerous Method (97%), directed by creepster extraordinaire David Cronenberg. I'm psyched and excited in my pants, and that's an intended pun and an intended Freudian slip. If that last thing is a thing. Arthur Christmas (2%) is some computer animated movie that is indeed about Christmas, though unfortunately it does not seem to be anything about an aardvark or a drunken Dudley Moore. The new Lars Von Trier film, Melancholia (100%), is about what if another planet starts on a collision course with Earth. And yet that's not what it's about at all. Kirsten Dunst stars as a young woman who goes through drama somehow while this is happening. Young Goethe in Love (10%) is a historical romance drama in which a fancy white guy with a remarkable talent loves a girl but then some stuff happens. Lastly, The Other F Word (22%) is a documentary in which Art Alexakis of Everclear is one of several "punk rockers" that discuss their experiences as fathers. Hell if Art can get in that, I should be able to book a spot in the sequel. Rimshot!
Thanks as always to the fine folks at Uptown Theatre for the indie flick release dates for the Minneapolis area!
Wow, I can't believe it's October and I still haven't seen Drive, Moneyball, and/or 50/50. What is wrong with me? I will try to remedy as much of this during the weekend as possible. In fact, the only movie I saw during the month of September was Contagion, a movie I thought for sure I was going to let slip by me. Then I realized we have a friend who used to be a nurse and really likes watching people get sick on screen. I know; it's sick. But we love her! Oh and maybe I set myself up for it because I didn't really care about liking the movie, but Soderbergh's apathy toward filmmaking really came through on the screen. Beautiful shots, but barely-there characters in a wafting ensemble of quiet panic and generic consequences. It wasn't bad though. Objectively better than Outbreak, but not nearly as entertaining or monkey-filled. Here's the releases for this month, with "Do I Wanna See It?" percentages in parentheses...
Oct 7th: As you can see by my monthly faves on the sidebar to your right, I am very curious and skeptical of Real Steel (62%), the family robot boxing drama starring Hugh Jackman. I was much looking forward to it joining the pantheon of terrible ideas with brilliant execution such as Troll 2 and Con-Air, but alas, it's now being marketed and received as an Iron Giant-esque touching story of father and son. I showed the trailer for The Ides of March (87%) to my Media Studies class as an example of hegemony and yet I couldn't help but be once again intrigued by the powerhouse of actors that dominate the election thriller helmed by George Clooney. On the art house side of things, the Norwegian dramedy Happy Happy (19%) follows a single woman who becomes obsessed with her happily married neighbors, who seem to have life figured out. If it weren't fluffy-looking it could have made for a damn good suspense flick. The dramedy might need to die out for a while methinks. My Afternoons with Marguerite (11%) was supposed to come out last month, but the heartfelt Gerard Depardieu-befriends-an-old-lady comedy is coming out this weekend instead. Still not gonna see it. Unless my mom or stepdad DVR it a year from now and we watch it on Christmas. I could see that happening.
Oct 14th: The remake of The Thing (91%) is coming out and while I'd like to say "finally" and move on, it seems to have been produced/released relatively quickly, which either means it was hastily done or it hasn't become an opus over-bloated ordeal and could be what it looks like - a lean take on the Carpenter classic. I'm fine with that, though I will miss the synths. Meanwhile, I've never seen the original Footloose (34%), but I've always found it odd when two remakes are released on the same day. I can't help but think that a time traveler from the past would be very confused. The Big Year (59%) probably has no reason to be good, it being a bird-hunting comedy starring Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson, but I have a dumb soft spot for all three of those men and so I kind of want to see the assuredly milquetoast tale of a group of friends out for a weekend with their guns and binoculars. Michael Shannon stars in Take Shelter (93%), which guarantees that it's going to be creepy, and everyone should know by now how much I adore creepy. I just hope I don't let this one wait until Nerdflix like I did with My Son My Son What Have Ye Done a couple years ago. Blackthorn (97%) tells the tale of what if Butch Cassidy survived his shootout with the Bolivian police and went on trying to live after a life full of criminal escapades. The clincher, besides harkening back to the best Western ever? Sam Shepard plays Butch! One actor I don't care about is Chris Evans, whose attempt at seriousness, Puncture (62%), is The Lincoln Lawyer meets Half Nelson, with a defense attorney who's addicted to drugs.They're lucky they combined murder and drugs, otherwise that percentage would be far lower. Toast (66%) also gets me at a couple weak spots, as it weaves a story through foodies in 1960s England. That should be self-explanatory.
Oct 21st: Never saw the first two, but I always have an inkling to see a ghost story, so Paranormal Activity 3 (43%) is much more welcome this Halloween than another Saw film. Who knows? If the first two are on Nerdflix, I might be there. I really can't believe we're getting another The Three Musketeers (38%), and that this one looks so action-heavy without even the flourishes of your average Michael Bay production that it will likely be beyond forgettable. Margin Call (61%) dramatizes the 2008 financial crisis, and while I heard HBO's version Too Big to Fail was erratic and overly staged, I am always interested in how recent events are so quickly turned into entertainment nowadays. Plus I just saw Inside Job and that was pretty good. Kevin Smith's Red State (90%) gets its proper release and while many people, myself included, have problems with the man, everyone seems to agree that it's nice that he tried something different here. Too dark to be called a comedy, too comedic to be called horror, and too political to be called a horror comedy, it might just be a good swan song for him. I'm pretending his hockey comedy in production doesn't exist. Johnny English Reborn (2%) is Mr. Bean's latest assault on America. I watch enough Bean with my mother-in-law, thank you very much. Sorry! I just don't get it! He makes weird faces! It girl Juno Temple's career is supposed to be catapulted with Dirty Girl (58%), about an angsty teen who goes on a road trip with her gay BFF, but it's gotten bad reviews and has two starkly different trailers - one mass-marketed as inspirational, another indie-marketed as sardonic. Weekend (53%) looks like a majestically shot gay romance, but that's about it. Sounds like a end-of-the-queue Nerdflix flick to me. Colin Firth stars in the ensemble Main Street (46%), which looks quirky and about a small town. I don't want to prejudge it because it could be State & Main, but since it's not written by David Mamet, probably not.
Oct 28th: I thought originally that Anonymous (84%) was going to be an intense literary drama about what if Shakespeare didn't exist, but according to all the TV spots it looks like it's going to be a political caper about how that relates to an attempted ousting of the Queen. Boo. Still interested. I had no idea why I was interested in Puss in Boots (77%) until my lovely wife reminded me that I love cats and I particularly love them when they act like serious humans. And so here I go, off to a Shrek spin-off movie in a few weeks. In Time (88%) seems to be the most exciting mainstream release of the month, however, as it could be sleek and perplexing like Minority Report or Dark City if it's smart, but it's probably more likely that it will be flat and Timberlakey. Hunter S. Thompson never really caught my reading eye, so The Rum Diary (41%), keeping in form from Fear & Loathing by keeping Johnny Depp cast as the protagonist, won't either. I do find it odd that it looks far breezier than a Thompson-based story should. Sleeping Beauty (26%) stars Emily Browning of Sucker Punch, but isn't a live-action remake of the classic Disney animated film. Lamerz. I would totally see that. It's something about a college girl and temptation instead. Pedro Almodovar's latest is The Skin I Live In (86%) with Antonio Banderas as a plastic surgeon, so basically a Spanish Nip/Tuck with a lot more intelligent psychological profiling. Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975 (68%) chronicles the eponymous movement through a Swedish lens. Why are they so interested in our country? Don't they have enough sex crimes and girls with tattoos solving them to keep them busy? And finally, Oranges and Sunshine (60%) features Emily Watson as a social worker who does powerful stuff.
As always, big thx to Joe at Uptown Theatre for hooking me up with the indie release dates for Minneapolis!
August was a pretty good movie month for me, despite the fact that I never once made it out to an indie film. No, instead I just managed to rack up the points on the AMC rewards card by seeing The Help and Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and then enjoyed the drive-in with Captain America: The First Avenger, Crazy Stupid Love, and Final Destination 5. Haphazard mini-reviews coming now, in the order listed above: watchable but lacked teeth, drenched in suspense and surprise emotional attachment, formulaic-to-the-bone but I liked the old NYC setting, enjoyable yet used the phrase "soul mate" far too much, and predictably campy but with an awesome guffaw-inducing twist. You can also check Brigitte's reviews of Midnight in Paris and One Day for more Blogulator movie opinions. As for September, the start of the fall is promising perhaps a bit much this year, but I am always a sucker for optimistic thinking (and of course there's your fair share of definite crap to outweigh the potential positives). Here are your September releases for the Twin Cities with "Do I Wanna See It?" percentages...
Sept 2nd: I never wound up seeing Piranha 3D, though I heard it was quite the romp, so if time permits I believe I would have a fairly reasonable amount of fun at Shark Night 3D (71%), the latest in what seems to be the more profitable version of bringing back the grindhouse genre. Sorry, QT. The Debt (44%) looks like such a generic political thriller that I now cringe a little bit every time the commercial comes on the boob tube. I've also grown tired of Helen Mirren and don't buy her as an older Jessica Chastain - an actress I'm growing fonder and fonder of everyday. Apollo 18 (93%) is the next in the line of faux-reality horror filmmaking, but I'm excited about it because it takes place in space. And that's where no one can hear you scream, if you recall. A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (47%) has the disadvantage of being a low-key R-rated sex comedy being released at the end of a summer full of 'em. But for some reason, even though I objectively know he's largely mediocre, I enjoy the screen company of Jason Sudeikis no matter what. Bellflower (0%/100%) is a curious item because I actually already saw it at the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Film Festival earlier this spring, and I was excited as all get out to see a post-apocalyptic movie that took place without the apocalypse having happened yet. The premise and style of filmmaking - raw and gritty yet with the warm and beautiful coloring of California - was so promising, but it ended up just being an indulgent violent love triangle story. Lame. And in Magic Trip (86%), Stanley Tucci narrates the story of celebrated hippie author Ken Kesey - he of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest fame - and his band of nomadic creatives called The Merry Pranksters from the 60s. Now I love Cuckoo's Nest, I teach it even, but Kesey is far different from your average hippie. And I'm afraid I'm not going to like the average hippie any more after learning more about their cross-country party van adventures.
Sept 9th: When the rest of the world finally realizes that Contagion (61%) is just Outbreak with Matt Damon instead of an adorable infectious monkey, I will shout at the top of my lungs, "told ya so a-doy-doy!" Too bad I might be in the theater with said rest of the world. Similarly, Warrior (38%) asks the question "What if we made The Fighter totally trite, had two cheap nobodies - Tom Hardy, who will be Bane in The Dark Knight Rises and Joel Edgerton from 2010 indie fan favorite Animal Kingdom - instead of Wahlberg and Bale, and then made it UFC instead of boxing?" Even worse is Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (NEVER%), in which Nick Swardson brazenly asks America if they're ready for the next generation's Deuce Bigalow, except even more obnoxious. This trailer reminded me of the fake I Am Sam-esque movie that Ben Stiller's character regrets doing in Tropic Thunder. Meanwhile, in indie theater land, Griff the Invisible (52%) mashes the twee romantic comedy with the superhero movie, which we've be waiting forever for. What would have made (500) Days of Summer better? If there was crime fighting! Brighton Rock (49%) is a remake of the 1947 gangster picture, which was based on a Graham Greene - author of The Third Man and The Quiet American - novel. Is it British? Yes, so it stars Helen Mirren in a supporting role. Higher Ground (83%) is Vera Farmiga's directorial debut - she of Up in the Air and Source Code. Could be vanilla, but she interviews quite well about it and seems like she's genuinely trying to make an intelligent and dramatic - and slightly comedic, of course - narrative about searching for one's faith. I'll be optimistic. And Sholem Aleichem: Laughing in the Darkness (8%) is a documentary about the author of Fiddler on the Roof. Matchmaker matchmaker, I'd rather scan the Wikipedia entry.
Sept 16th: I have no idea what Drive (92%) is about other than that Ryan Gosling plays a getaway driver and apparently the director's debut Bronson was a "badass" movie. I am male so what else do I need to know? Also, my wife does not care for Ryan Gosling she noted during the TV commercial. But then the commercial for the self-explanatory rom-com I Don't Know How She Does It (22%) came on and she said she quite enjoyed its star, Greg Kinnear, and claimed he does not get enough play. You can imagine the conversation that grew out of this. Straw Dogs (79%) is a remake of the classic and controversial 1971 Sam Peckinpah film about a man trying to protect his countryside home and wife from a band of crazed looters and rapists. This time it's James Marsden and who knows how far they'll go, but even if they do, I have a feeling it won't resonate with film critics, either too negatively or positively, this time around. Circumstance (48%) sounds like one of those inevitably well done movies that nonetheless are endlessly depressing. It's about two teenage Iranian girls who fall in love, much to the chagrin of, you know, Iran. If that's not enough, one of the girl's brother also returns home from intensive drug rehab for the first time in years. 5 Days of War (53%) follows a photojournalist in the midst of the Russian-Georgian conflict, which sounds serious, until you realize it stars Val Kilmer and is directed by Renny Harlin, known best for Die Hard 2: Die Harder and Cliffhanger. Still though, The Killing Fields was good. Apparently Mozart's Sister (37%) was also a musical prodigy, and this movie will explain how. I covered the chimp documentary Project Nim (74%) a couple months ago, but it's for realzies coming out in the MSP this weekend. And having seen Andy Serkis play a chimp with feelings/thoughts, I want to now see it more. To end this chunk on a happy note, The Hedgehog (66%) is about an eleven-year-old who decides she's going to kill herself on her twelfth birthday. I bet I can guess the ending.
Sept 23rd: Aaron Sorkin tricks us into thinking real life is theater again in Moneyball (1000% - not a typo), which covers how a baseball manager did something impressive involving money, wit, and innovation. I thought Abduction (5%) was going to be simple. It stars Taylor Lautner and he gets to run around being sweaty and muscular for the girlz. But then I saw it's directed by John effing Singleton, who has fallen so far from his debut Boyz N the Hood it's sickening. I mean, I can handle Robert De Niro slumming it up in Killer Elite (11%) with Statham and Clive Owen as special agents who kill assassins, because he had a long period of reliability, even if his "Analyze This years" have gone on seemingly longer. Singleton only has two, maybe three movies, before he gave in so easily. Speaking of giving in, Pearl Jam Twenty (29%) is exactly what it sounds like, documenting the band after 20 years of "service" by director and uber-fan Cameron Crowe, he of Almost Famous and Say Anything fame. Curious, especially as two good friends of mine are PJ freaks, but this should have been made in the 90s. The Chinese murder mystery/kinda-noir Detective Dee & the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (63%) has a ridiculous title, but looks super stylish and fun to just watch, regardless of how the plot turns out. I attempted to see the urban violence documentary The Interrupters (95%), from the director of Hoop Dreams, at the aforementioned film fest, but it was sold out. Steve James knows how to make the depressing epic and with at least a glint of hope, so I can't wait. Love Crime (46%) is the obligatory French thriller for the month and it involves Kristin Scott Thomas being deceitful and manipulative and blah blah. Lastly, My Afternoons with Marguerite (35%) features an overweight and idiotic Gerard Depardieu befriending an old lady who teaches him to read or something. Should be a short film methinks.
Sept 30th: The Seth Rogen/Joseph Gordon-Levitt cancer dramedy 50/50 (100/100%) has already received much praise in the advance blog reviews, so I have high hopes. I just hope I don't get burned like I did with Funny People. Last month had the Katie Holmes haunted house movie and this month it's Naomi Watts, along with Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz, in Dream House (81%) and this time it looks far more tasteful and, shocking I know, subtle. That's what happens when you hire the director of My Left Foot I guess. I must have seen the trailer for What's Your Number? (10%) at least a trillion times, but I can't remember for the life of me what it's about or who's in it. It's a rom-com where the woman looks for love and finds it in the least expected place. Oh yeah, Chris Evans! And I forgot it again. Restless (97%) is the latest from Gus Van Sant, this time intertwining his ghostly filmmaking style with an actual ghost story. But is it primarily a romance about a terminally ill teenage girl? Or when she and her lover encounter a Japanese ghost? Who knows, but it might be crazy enough to work. Machine Gun Preacher (60%) is the latest from Marc Forster - director of Monster's Ball and Stranger Than Fiction - and stars Gerard Butler as a real-life dude who was a drug dealer and then became a crusader for child soldiers in Sudan. Saccharine dialogue is likely, but so is a decent yarn. The director of Candyman tries out the drug dealer biopic in Mr. Nice (58%), starring Rhys Ifans, who was the only good part of Greenberg, and Chloe Sevigny, who's the best part of everything she's in. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (99%) is, like the Straw Dogs remake, a home invasion film, but it also looks wildly fun and not the least bit questionable. Plus it stars Alan Tudyk, one of my favorite underrated actin' dudes. And there's a chainsaw on the poster! And Mysteries of Lisbon (33%) is a foreign example of hyperlink cinema, where a countess, a businessman, and an orphan boy's troubles and dramas are followed until they convene in the end. Get me a fresher gimmick, international cinema!
As always, thanks to the fine folks at the Uptown Theater for hooking me up with the advance schedule of art house releases for the month!
This weekend Qualler and I saw TWO, count 'em, TWO movies currently in theaters: Midnight in Paris and One Day. One was fantastic, one was m'eh. Guess which is which!
Just kidding. I'll tell you. Midnight in Paris, the latest Woody Allen flick that Qualler and I have been talking about seeing forever, was pretty fantastic. One Day went from boring to adequate to way too sad. I don't want to spoil too much about the former, because I think everyone should go see it. I have no problem at all spoiling the later because I don't think you should waste your money.
Midnight in Paris This exceeded all my expectations, so much so that I would be willing to see it again (hear that, Chris?). The message of the movie is extremely simple, but I don't think that took away from it at all. In fact, I liked it. And message or no message, it was funny. I actually laughed out loud a lot, and I can't remember his last release that made me do that (maaaaybe Vicky Christina Barcelona, but this one definitely packed more laughs per minute). I'm a Woody Allen fan, so I go into each of his movies wanting to like them. However, I often haven't liked his newer films, so I'm extra happy when one delivers.
I think one thing that made this film work was Owen Wilson cast as the "Woody Allen" character. I'm glad that Woody has stopped casting himself as the romantic lead, but too often the lead ends up acting in such a way that it ends up coming across as a bad Woody Allen impression. There were a few mimic-y moments for Owen Wilson, but over all I think he managed to retain his own unique charm and comedic style while still filling the roll of quirky, neurotic, overly romantic male lead who is mismatched with a cold bitch who doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humor (sound familiar?). And despite how I just described that cliche set up, it really did work, and both Rachel McAdams and Owen Wilson made the roles funny and fresh.
The entire film is shot in Paris (duh) and if there's one thing Woody Allen really does well, it's capture a city. And Paris just happens to be one of my favorite cities. The establishing shots last awhile, but I didn't mind, because I really think he's good at just showing us scenes of a city set to awesome music and it doesn't feel trite, even though it probably should. The premise of this movie (this MIGHT be a spoiler, but it doesn't really ruin the film, and it's something I knew going in to see it) is that Owen Wilson's character (Gil) is a writer who idealizes Paris in the 1920s, and he somehow is magically transported to that time period every night at Midnight. He meets the Fitzgeralds, Hemmingway, Gertrude Stein, Picasso...the list goes on. If you need just one reason to see this movie, it would be for Woody Allen's portrayal of Hemmingway. I laughed so hard I almost cried. I won't give away any more, but I really thought that this movie managed to be funny, kind of sweet, and not too hokey, and the cast was pretty phenomenal.
One Day One of our own already reviewed the book that this film was based on. I have not read the book, but after reading OHD's review, I think I feel about the same about this film as she felt about the book. It wasn't good, but you sort of forget that as you're watching it (except for the beginning, which is almost painfully boring).
Anne Hathaway was decent in her role, but I was immediately frustrated when the start of the movie tried to establish her as an unattractive geek by giving her glasses and a bad haircut. I liked that the first time when it was called The Princess Diaries. Nice try, though. She's still Anne Hathaway. The movie was faithful to the book according to OHD's review in that Dexter was basically a total dick to Emma throughout their friendship until he suddenly decides he wants to be with her, at which point she almost immediately dumps her boyfriend. There didn't seem to be any moment when Dexter's character would change, grow up, or for some reason begin to treat Emma well, and yet...he does? They get married and everything's totally fine. I kept waiting for it to fall apart, for him to be a dick again, and yet...nothing. But like OHD said, it was hard to feel happy for them, because it was hard to trust that happiness. It seemed to come out of nowhere. And then the big twist (and I too will refrain from spoiling it) but lemme tell you it's EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION CITY UP IN HERE!
So, despite not really feeling for the characters, I was a wreck at the end. And it did not feel good.
I will go ahead and not recommend One Day, though Qualler and I agreed that it wasn't terrible until you really reflected on it, and if you need to pass an afternoon and need a movie that probably won't offend whomever you're with...I guess go for it.
One part of this movie that kind of made me chuckle: Emma dates a terrible comedian and his character is pretty funny, particularly when he describes his terrible comedy ideas. Also, the soundtrack wasn't terrible, as it sort of took you through 20 years of the lives of these two characters. Think Forrest Gump but way less self important.
P.S. I have to add that both movie posters are somewhat misleading. Owen Wilson's character never meets Van Gogh, and One Day is not really romantic.
Well, that was different. In fact, it was...pretty...awesome? Yup, I have to admit it. I have officially thoroughly enjoyed a Harry Potter movie. And it didn't happen like I thought it would, where I would be stubborn and curmudgeonly for a long while until I finally just gave in. No, I was pretty firmly set in the eye-rolls-galore-with-a-glint-of-optimism camp throughout both Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets, but then only about twenty minutes into the third installment in the series I suddenly found myself wanting to soak in every second of it. Of course there's a catch, though. By "it" I mean the absolutely indispensable direction of Alfonso Cuaron, who I am so pissed to find out didn't direct any of the subsequent HP films. What gives? If he was offered but turned it down, I understand, because he had bigger fish to fry, like Children of Men, one of the top ten films of the 00s, as ultimately determined by a bunch of friends and I over a lengthy New Year's Eve discourse that went on until 6 a.m., long after our spouses and significant others attempted to go to sleep in the same room as our loudmouth selves in a secluded Wisconsin cabin.
But really - I'm glad I don't have to go back to the whimsical generic boredom of Chris Columbus's directing, but I honestly don't know how I'm going to do without the inimitable style that Cuaron stamps all over Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Now this is going to (if it hasn't already) sound a lot like extended hyperbole, so I want to make something clear up front: I'm not out of the blue now an HP fanatic. In fact, there was still things going on in the screenplay and in the younger actors' dumb faces that made me cringe slightly until the next artistic flourish of the camera came along. So it's not like I want to have Azkaban's babies, though I would at least entertain the notion of having Cuaron's. I'm sure a lot of this new found fandom has to do with seeing things like the giant living tree outside of Hogwarts or the obnoxious Aunt and Uncle's house that were previously overly twee and totally insufferable, respectively, were now reborn with a hefty dose of originality and panache by a more than competent director. When the tree shakes from a distance and water gets on the lens? Mwah! When Richard Griffiths finally gets to act as the muggle Uncle and not just be a comedic setpiece and reacts to Harry blowing up his sister as she's about to float away? The man can assign emotional weight to the silliest crap!
I think the obvious reference point for what Cuaron did with this franchise is to consider if HP existed when Tim Burton was around and doing exciting things as a director still, before he devolved into a bored caricature of himself. It didn't hurt that I revisited Pee Wee's Big Adventure shortly before seeing Azkaban, which helped remind me of a time in which dark tinges of humanity can turn even the most wackadoodle and transform it into something real and palpable. That Cuaron can do this while still retaining so much of the charm and family friendly qualities of the first two films is admirable, though Ebert would beg to differ with me. But I really don't see it like he does; yes it's blacker and bluer in palette, but never once did I feel a sense of hopelessness in the aesthetic like I did when, says, Soderbergh continually reminded us how sad Americans were in Traffic with a similar lens coloration. And we should be rejoicing when kids' movies can still be kids movies but also complicate the feelings the audience has. It shouldn't be all just sharp manufactured pangs of suspense followed by smiles and string swells. It needs to ebb and flow like a real adventure that stems from an orphan's parents being murdered in front of his eyes.
Alas, even with all this freshly cultivated respect for HP by way of Cuaron's deftness, there were still things that bothered me, though only a few of them are repeat offenders from the first two films. Rupert Grint annoyed me far less here, but he's still straddling a line between just making faces and seeming to have a real purpose. I actually enjoyed the twist that Pettigrew turned out to be his pet rat, because we've had to accept Ron as a part of Harry's crew, but if this was a one-off film, everyone would be looking at each other saying, "so this is why he's a character." At least in Chamber of Secrets they tried to build his family into the plot and make him more integral that way. And I'm not much of a shipper, but I did like the subtle (in terms of kids' movies) hint at his and Hermione's future romance, accidentally touching hands and being surprised/aghast at the encounter. Likewise, though Emma Watson's still outshining both of them, Daniel Radcliffe has also improved. The triumphant ending I think he dropped the ball on, trying to play it simple and revelatory like the first two (and don't get me started about the dumb freeze frame ending, even in its hue-streaked impressionism), but overall he's not acting clueless anymore, which is refreshing.
The new problems that arose, however, are typically what happens with ambitious sequels that have basically too many good ideas. I call this The Dark Knight syndrome. Like I said before, I liked the Pettigrew twist, especially because I'm a big fan of Timothy Spall from his work with Mike Leigh, but boy did that ever detract/create a convolution of the dynamic between David Thewlis's lycanthropy and Gary Oldman's innocent madman shtick. Spall barely got to do anything, though like always he clearly put a lot of work into portraying this tortured scaredy-cat in self-imposed exile. Plus you put anyone in a room with Oldman and you're going to have barely any acting room. Hell, Oldman didn't even have to actually be in a room. His face in the animated GIF newspaper (or whatever) was enough for me to nominate him for Best Supporting Actor. Then there was Thewlis, seemingly just playing the formulaic teacher-with-a-secret. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize was Snape was doing teaching the kids about werewolves (also, really? I don't have to deal with this enough via Twilight, Teen Wolf on MTV, and True Blood?), but I was very pleased to find out he wasn't evil or only had his self-interest in mind. Unfortunately because there were three great actors and bit parts, they all ended up sucking away significance from each other, leaving a slight unsatisfying feeling in the viewer.
Bloated screenplays aside (I actually thought the time travel bit was very well done and mind-bendily delicious, though some may argue that only added to this problem), I am both excited and horrified to get into the next one of the docket, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. On the one hand, Mike Newell directed Donnie Brasco, one of the grittier crime movies of the 90s. On the other hand, he directed Four Weddings and a Funeral, so I'm bracing myself for goofy antics that detract from the drama, which thus only makes the drama more cloying when it does appear in act three. Who knows, though? Maybe enough goodwill has been instilled me that as we get closer to meeting Voldemort, I'll get giddy and freaked out and become a true Potter acolyte. Don't count on it, especially with Cuaron gone, but I think he at least helped increase my odds of getting through all eight movies by about 50%.
