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chris and qualler have better taste in movies than you.

Hey, Mr. Golden Oscar man, you've announced your noms, and trust me, you were only partially right on. Maybe you wanna look over tha REAL Academy Awards...of awesomeness in film. This movie list is even more prestigious than the MTV Movie Awards!

10 marie antoinette

Pretty colors, Kirsten Dunst, delicious looking food, and silly faces from silly-face-meister Jason Schwartzman make the historical inaccuracies a moot point in this one. Who needs historical accuracy, though? Historical accuracy is for the Dame Judy Densch. -qualler

9 the fountain

wah wah the story is weak. story is overrated in this day and age of images and sound bytes. what matters is effect. guess what, the story in 2001: a space odyssey was weak. the fountain takes a basic universal theme and slambangs you with pretention, wow factor, and a deep spirit not found in the majority of films that is unshakable by even the darkest of cynics: death, life, and love are as interchangeable as ancient times, the present, and futuristic space orbs with edible trees. -chris

8 49up

This documentary series is the most realistic real life real film of realness that has ever really existed, and the 7th in the 7-up series confirms what we all fear -- when we get old, we'll all end up lame. But these people all seem so happy by their middle ages, does it even matter anymore? Happiness is the new coolness. -qualler

7 babel

the movie i cried at the most this year (the others are too embarrassing to mention). when brad pitt's character offers money to the dude that helps him and his wounded wife and dude doesn't take it, i seriously lost it. it was such a simple act and yet it put the whole movie in perspective for me (especially because at the time of viewing, i didn't have wikipedia to look up the tower of babel bible story to clue me in on the film's basic theme): it's what we do without language that speaks volumes louder than what we can ever say using language. not only is it a nice plug for my instrumental radio program, but it is the best example of a theme movie and a non-linear multi-plot lined film coexisting successfully in my memory (i'm looking at you, crash). -chris

6 inland empire

Over a month after seeing this in Greenwich Village, I can't wait to see it again. I was able to finally see Mulholland Dr. recently, and realized that Inland Empire is Mulholland Dr. x infinity in terms of all-out balls-to-the-walls what's happening here-ness. I mean, duh, Mulholland Dr. is about jealousy and love, while Inland Empire is about...alternate dimensions and sitcoms starring rabbit people. -qualler

5 united 93

The first hour is so boring, I wished that I was watching another movie about air traffic control people, Pushing Tin (starring John Cusack and Billy Bob T...right around the time Cusack's career spun out of control.) The second hour is the second most terrifying and haunting hour of film released this year. Kudos to director Paul Greengrass for depicting the entire scenario without inserting a single movie cliche. -qualler

4 children of men

(yeah, we all know the title's dumb). apparently kubrick is alive and well and still making epic minimalist films with an overarching sense of chaos and hopelessness. this movie was what war of the worlds tried to be: a rush of constant suspense and agitation with little to no explanation about what was going on so as to preserve these aforementioned feelings. except here the political agenda is muffled rather than heightened: no crazy tim robbins and no son with an urge to go off to war. we only get a man who has a mission he has no reason to execute other than he feels he needs to. he doesn't have to explain it, he just does it. and we're with him all the way to the end. him and all the cats and dogs. -chris

3 the departed

Seriously, there's so much to love about Scorsese's comeback from Aviator/Gangs of New York mediocrity. There's Alec Baldwin with his redemption, there's Matt Damon in a surprisngly excellent performance, and there is a nuanced I'm-not-a-Nicholson-persona performance from Jack Nicholson. I'm Joel Siegel, and this is some slam-bang entertainment. -qualler

2 little miss sunshine

chevy chase is probably rolling in his grave because someone dared to use his comedic tactics and incorporate them into a meaningful oscar-nominated film. sure the saccharine threads are practically neon-colored as they link together numerous ROTFLMAO scenes, but it's better than making a less-funny movie with more subtle dialogue or an equally funny movie without trying to connect it emotionally to anyone. we all know comedy is a part of our family, whether it's simultaneously depressing, genuinely positive, or a combination of the two. i'm glad there's a movie i can watch over and over again with both my pretentious 20-something friends and my 63-year-old mom who thinks bill cosby is just a riot. -chris

1 the descent

horror movies have been an integral part of my movie-watching life both from the so-bad-it's-good and the i-like-to-be-genuinely-scared standpoint for as long as i can remember. when you're little and just starting to grasp the concept of what movies are and how they can affect you, horror movies or scary movies are an immediate and shocking introduction to how art can affect life. and the descent not only does this on a visceral level, but on a intellectual level as well. you can watch it deconstruct the discourse of gender, you can watch it attack themes of darkness vs. light, you can watch it break down the lines between savagery and civility, AND you can watch it scare your face off to its very core. let it get to you. movies are best when you do. -chris

the oscars, at least on some level, agreed that 5 out of our 10 favorite movies of 2006 are notable (little miss sunshine, the departed, children of men, united 93, and babel) and we appreciate it, since there hasn't been a good best picture since 1992. so mr. oscar guy, if you were wondering, the staff here at chris and qualler's pop culture blogulator semi-likes you for the first time in a very long time. we know you were worried about impressing us.

p.s. chris has #s 25-21 of his top 50 songs of 2006 updated on the listulator! check it out!

  1. Anonymous Christine | 9:17 AM |  

    Chevy Chase will never die, you fools.

  2. Blogger Unspar! | 9:29 AM |  

    Dude, Schindler's List, 1993.

  3. Anonymous Dan | 9:46 AM |  

    I seriously thought The Descent was not that great. All the main characters were super annoying, and I was glad when they got what they deserved. Does that make me sadistic? Maybe. But let it be known that if you're going to be a bad actor, you'll get eaten by weird creature thingies.

  4. Blogger Wipert | 12:53 PM |  

    I am officially forming the Committee for the Erasing of The Fountain. Our, my, goal is to erase any mention or recognition of the film The Fountain from all textual, visual, and mental spaces. Narrative is life, Narrative is humanity, and as The Fountain clearly desires to destroy narrative, we, the guardians of humanity, must destroy The Fountain. There is nothing beyond narrative and to suggest anything exists past our own conception of reality is evil. CETF says, "The Fountain, never heard of it!"

  5. Blogger chris | 5:55 PM |  

    wipert, you puritan.

    is "dan" little qualler? regardless, you're wrong.

    unspar, i've fallen asleep during schindler's list upwards of 4 times in my lifetime. maybe i'm a nazi.

  6. Blogger DoktorPeace | 6:17 PM |  

    This comment half belongs on the listulator, whose purity I do not wish to tarnish with my input that it is in the toppest form of any blog today that doesn't link to free nudie vids.

    This comment half belongs somewhere here, wanting an answer from experts to the question of how my Atlantic flight movie "The Queen" and her bore-o-vision is considered better directed than the epic single camera shots of Clive Owen holding a baby.

  7. Blogger Patrick | 10:09 PM |  

    Descent? Decent. At best.


    Nevertheless, great list. You did forget John Tucker Must Die, though.

    P.S. Children of Men! Children of Men!

  8. Blogger Andrew Chaney | 11:22 AM |  

    I haven't seen several of these films, although I will be appearing on Menomonee Falls Public Access television next week to rant aobut the Oscars, I am being required to give my Oscar picks. All I can say is, right on Babel, right on Little Miss Sunshine, Home Run on Descent, right on departed, so-so on United 93, and Qualler gets a Rex Grossman for his blatant campaigning for Inland Empire. Take it from Arun: "David Lynch should stick to his day job of selling coffee!"

  9. Blogger Andrew Chaney | 11:25 AM |  

    By the way, if ANYONE should be an authority on movies of the year, it's Pat's Dad, who finally eclipsed the magic 1,000th rental at Hollywood video, only to have a Dark Tower-style accomplishment waiting for him, and having his count reset to zero. How did he deal with it? He tried to rent relative strangers, even though it wasn't on MVP. (I gave it to him free, anyway)

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