Live-Blog - The Only Blog That Is Live-Blogging The Oscars Tonight!!

Ha ha ha. Funny subject, eh?

7:32 pm -- What's up with this CGI opening? Crappy CGI? Post-writers' strike blues? Blah. Oh man, DDL's hair is out of control. Whew. Okay, we're getting this ball rolling. Members of the Blogulator contingent are present now -- me, Chris, Brigitte, and Lady Amy. DoktorPeace and Sean will be joining via satellite (i.e. gchat.) Let the festivities begin!

7:37 pm -- Jon Stewart's monologue is going on a little too long. Whatever happened to Billy Crystal's charming tap dance routines that involved all of the movies of the year? Diablo Cody, meanwhile, IS wearing a leopard-print dress. Represent, Mpls.

7:43 -- Costume design. In our Oscar party, I am already 0 for 1. Yes, I did not vote for Elizabeth: The Golden Age. Eeeeee, please get Barbara Streisand off the screen ASAP!!! Ah, sweet relief -- a commercial.

7:47 -- I gotta say -- Clooney is a smooth mofo. And we're only 17 minutes into the awards and this is the SECOND self-congratulatory montage, this time of memorable moments of the Oscars. It actually makes me long for Oprah and Uma and WHOA DANCING GOLDEN OSCARS?! AMAZING. Okay, well, this montage is already annoying me -- I would like to bed at some point tonight. DoktorPeace, do you have any zingers for me? (He answered by asking if they should relate to the Oscars or my mom. Zing.)

7:51 -- Stewart, you're not tricking us -- iPhone product placement is still product placement. DoktorPeace reports that in HD, he can see moles everywhere. Anne Hathaway, though -- BABE! Ratatouille's victory has sparked quite a bit of controversey -- Brigitte and Lady Amy are getting angry at the fact that an animated movie with a serious subject can't win Oscars. I'm more offended by the fact that there were only two good animated movies of the year, proven by Surfs Up's nomination.

7:56 -- I cannot get over the fact that Katherine Heigl's lips perfectly match her red dress. Can't. Get. Over. It. In the meantime, Joe is 3 for 3 in our contest after having seen a grand total of two of the movies nominated this year. Bravo, Joe.

8:00 -- DoktorPeace is quitting watching the show after Norbit lost. Amy Adams is dancing and singing, which is great, but I feel almost understimulated by only one person on the stage at the time. Yikes.

8:03 -- DoktorPeace says: "Yeah these montages must stop. But those are the shortcomings of a base10 society. shortcomings? plagues? i can't decide."

8:08 -- The first travesty of the night. HOW ARE FAKE POLAR BEARS MORE VISUALLY IMPRESSIVE THAN F---ING TRANSFORMING ROBOTS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? OPTIMUS PRIME WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!! Meanwhile, Blogulator friend Andy says that Jon Stewart sounds a little too much like Jay Leno so far. I can't say I disagree.

8:15 -- FINALLY! ACTING TIME! Wait...nevermind. Just another montage. Chris said, regarding Jennifer Hudson, "Hey, remember when Dreamgirls was supposed to win awards?" Anyway, it's on to acting for a supporting actor acto. Hey, did anybody see SNL last night? The digital short was off da hook. I'm rooting hardcore for my man, Tom Wilkinson in this category. let's see what happens...

8:18 -- Javier Bardem wins, and that's not a big shocker. The big shocker is that Brigitte thinks he's pretty attractive without his Dora the Explorer haircut. Way to go, Javier.

8:20 -- DoktorPeace and Andy just reported that on the closed captioning, Javier Bardem's speech was represented this way -- "I have to say this in Spanish (speaks Foreign language.)" Yes, vague Foreign languages are vague, indeed.

8:24 -- A joke montage is still a montage, Jonny.

8:27 -- a song from August Rush. Finally I can take a break from watching for a second. So THAT'S what Miley Cyrus looks like (in the above photo).

8:30 -- The second big upset of the night is everyone getting angry about "L Mozart Des Pickpockets" winning best short film. And for animated short, "Peter and the Wolf" is a deece pick. The duck was freaking adorable.

8:36 -- Brigitte again points out how the Academy loves giving awards to children. Brigitte also asked if Gone Baby Gone is about the Limbergh baby. Alright, now I'm upset -- Tilda Swinton won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, and it was the ONLY category where I changed my answer at the last minute. I have no chance at winning this thing... Meanwhile, Unspar is discussing how he hates Tilda Swinton because of her angular face and her voice. I gotta say -- I wasn't expecting the bright red hair. Good thing, though, that she referenced Batman & Robin in her acceptance speech -- the first and last reference to Batman & Robin in the Oscars ever.

8:41 -- DoktorPeace made me just LOL RE: the Batman & Robin reference -- "Tilda made a bad 90s movie reference? Sign her up for the Blogulator!" That calls for a great breaking point -- time to eat some of Chris's pizza rolls! Yum!

8:48 -- The Coen Bros. won their Oscar for No Country and they are indeed the most awkward speech givers ever. And, probably the best.

8:50 -- We just learned that Alfred Molina is also British. Who knew?

8:52 -- Jon Stewart made the best zinger of the night -- "Wow -- that was amazing." (RE: the educational video on how the awards are protected by PriceWaterhouseCoopers)

8:54 -- I had to learn who Kristin Chenowith is from Jerksica, who gave me an angry glare because I wasn't aware she is a Tony-award winning actress from Wicked and she slapped me in the face. Chris calls this version of his fav song EVAR "That's How You Know" from Enchanted a "second-rate version." And all this time I thought Kristin Chenowith was related to to Brenda from "Six Feet Under".

9:01 -- Hey! Seth Rogan isn't Judi Densch!! SWITCHEROONIES! This calls for a hilariousjokes.com/switcherronies.html . Meanwhile, Seth Rogan and the other guy are beating this Judi Densch joke to death over and over again. Brigitte, Lady Amy, and Chris are arguing what the difference is between sound editing and sound mixing. Unspar, meanwhile, pointed out that the ponytail guys always win the awards.

9:10 -- It's only 9:10 and we're already giving awards for Best Actress?!? The drama continues......

9:12 -- Marion Cotillard wins! Hooray! Oh, the French. Cate Blanchette looked genuinely thrilled for her victory. I haven't felt this genuinely moved since the end of Ratatouille.

9:16 -- DoktorPeace commenting on Marion Cotillard -- " Heh heh heh! C'est la vie! She is a bit too, how to say, full of jeu d'vivre." Brigitte reports that jeu d'vivre doesn't mean anything. I think I know what you're saying, though, DP.

9:18 -- Collin Farrell is introducing "Falling Slowly" from Official Blogulator Film of the Year, Once. Chris just commented that he is about to do something inappropriate in his nether-regions with the strings and the pitch-perfect performance of the song. I must say, the fence with the guitars in the background of this performance really gives an aire of authenticity that I don't think could be reproduced anywhere else. Whatever, this is the best musical performance since Elliott Smith showed up.

9:21 -- Nevermind -- the drumfill and too-soaring strings are a little over the top.

9:27 -- It's the first ever good montage -- showing clips of the movies that won the Oscar for Best Picture. By the end, we were booing and cheering all the movies. Brigitte gave a "M'eh' to Schindler's List. Anywho, film editing is going to The Bourne Ultimatum?!? I am smelling some kind of upset in Best Picture this year.

9:31 -- DoktorPeace: "Nicole Kidman is talking. This reminds me of last year when she t.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

9:34 -- People are getting mad at me for not specifically including enough actual quotes from people who are actually here now. I am saying that nobody has told me specifically things to put in the Live Blog. I am confused because they are clapping for a guy for being 98 year old.

9:42 -- Best Foreign film. The Counterfeiters won. Those who picked 12 at random are sorely disappointed. Meanwhile, I thought Nicole just made a Billy Madison ref. I wish.

9:44 -- Now that there's another song, I can comment on how stunning Brigitte and Lady Amy look in their formal wear. And hey, if Marion Cottillard can win an Oscar at 28, can't we win an Oscar for something, too? Are there Blogging Oscars? Is Enchanted the only movie that had songs in it this year? How was Eddie Vedder not nominated for Into the Wild? Eddie Vedder at the Oscars would have blown my mind.

9:46 -- DoktorPeace -- on the guy singing the third Enchanted song: "I'm falling into this guy's eyes."

9:50 -- "Falling Slowly" WON!!! Unspar commented, "This is the first good Oscars moment ever." Brigitte said "You inspired my haircut" to Markéta Irglová. They turned the mic off for her, though!!! BASTARDS!!!!! THEY CUT HER SPEECH OFF TO GIVE A LAME JOKE ABOUT HOW JOHN TRAVOLTA HAS AN AIRPLANE. AKjflsadkjfldsakjfldsajfdsa.

9:56 -- JON STEWART REDEEMED IT! HE BROUGHT HER BACK ON THE STAGE!! Independent musicians 4-ev-R!!

9:58 -- Cameron Diaz is on. Nicole doesn't think she's talented, Unspar says she's drunk, and Brigitte discussed how her parents wouldn't let her watch There's Something About Mary.

10:00 -- Robert Elswit won for Best Cinematography for There Will Be Blood -- a well-deserving Oscar, not only for this movie but for his work in others like Michael Clayton, Punch-Drunk Love, and Magnolia. And Boogie Nights. Yes, I'm an obsessed Paul Thomas Anderson fanboy.

10:04 -- The ostensible people who died montage came and went WITHOUT Brad Renfro or Roy Schneider. Boo! Do The Client or "SeaQuest DSV" mean ANYTHING to you, Academy?

10:11 -- Tom Hanks looks pretty old. All the actors we know and love are getting old. "Freeheld" won for Best Documentary -- Short Subject. I'm geting sleepy. Why did I sign up for this thing? Meanwhile, Brigitte and I have had No End in Sight for a couple weeks on Netflix -- if it wins, we'll watch it this week!

10:17 -- Taxi to the Dark Side won and I failed to see it when it was at the Lagoon in Uptown Minneapolis. I'm a failure!

10:23 -- The next Mpls connection is up for awards now -- best original screenplay. Meanwhile, Lady Amy opened a bottle of wine where the cap popped off and hit her in the eye.

10:25 -- Diablo Cody won! Another MPLS award! Meanwhile, Chris just threw up. Diablo's got some nice tats. Is that what they call tattoos? Oh, Diablo, we here in Minnesota are so proud. Unspar said she definitely looks like she's from Minnesota. Jerksica said "She's got to cover her crotch so her dress doesn't split open" and Brigitte said "Well, once a stripper..."

10:28 -- This Oscars contest is getting intense -- one is at 10, two at 9, and one at 8, with three awards to go. I have indeed successfully selected four winners.

10:31 -- Helen Mirren said something about the Rainbow of Human Behavior. Meanwhile, showing this clip of Clooney is a MAJOR spoiler alert! Who's gonna win???

10:34 -- Daniel Day-Lewis won! He said something about springing from the beautiful head of Paul Thomas Anderson. Paul Thomas Anderson IS beautiful! Did I mention that I love him yet?

10:39 -- The most controversey of the night occurred when I said I didn't think I could finish "Twin Peaks" on DVD. Yes, Brigitte, I'll finish it with you, I promise, and I'll even stay awake...

10:42 -- DIRECTING!! OH PLEASE GOD GIVE IT TO PTA!!!!!!!!! It went to the Coen Bros, so that's cool, too. Minnesota connection, right? The Coen Bros are filming a movie in St. Louis Park soon, which is located a couple miles from our condo in which they are casting a 100% Jewish cast. Now, I know I'm 75% Norwegian, but I think I could be in it.

10:45 -- It's not even 11:00 yet and they're on best picture. This is going way too fast. Who's gonna win?!?

10:46 -- No Country For Old Men. Hooray for a relatively surprise-free Oscars. Turns out, blogging during the Oscars makes it go by way faster. It's time to go to bed. Unspar and Chris split the prize for the Oscar pool -- Unspar took home the chocolate Oscar replica, and Chris took back the mechanical arm. That's all for us -- goodnight America!

This entry was posted by Unknown, on Sunday, February 24, 2008. You can leave your response.