Welcome Back, Writers

Now that the writers' strike is more or less officially over, it's time to make some suggestions. Let's face it, writers in the Writers' Guild -- you've been off the job for a while now, and while you have probably thought of a lot of great ideas while picketing and what not, you probably need some more ideas to keep sharp on your first day back to work. Let this be a guide to you, the potential writer going back to the office this week. This is what the American public, and especially the staff at the Blogulator, would like to see.

1. Crossovers!
Let's face it -- who wouldn't love to see Dwight from The Office mixin' it up with Lieutenant Horatio Crane of CSI: Miami? Television crossovers have been in the decline since The Jetsons met up with The Flinstones in "The Jetsons Meet the Flinstones". I for one feel HBO needs to bring their characters together more often. Imagine the hilarious / life-altering consequences of Jeremy Piven getting hit by a car on Entourage and having his funeral served by the Fischer family in Six Feet Under? There would be so much comedy AND tragedy. Get on it, Hollywood.

2. Kill Reality Television
Seriously. Other Blogulatorers might disagree with me. But now that we have writers on our shows again, there is no need for "American Gladiator". We have crappy Hollywood movies to enjoy ironically -- watching "American Gladiator" even on an ironic basis is supporting terrorism.

3. Robots
C'mon, who doesn't love robots? CBS can develop a series about the economic crash of 2009 in which robots finally took over America and, more importantly, ate all of our gas station hot dogs. That would be the biggest tragedy of all. I ate a gas station hot dog today, and it was surprisingly delicious. The thought of evil robots eating them all makes my heart break into a million tiny pieces.

4. End filler
LESS FILLER!!!!! Cable networks have proven that television series have better focus and more meaning when writers are not asked to write episodes like when "The O.C." teenagers got locked in the mall, or when Andrea Zuckerman kept having a dream about walking a tight rope over and over again in an episode of "Beverly Hills 90210". Not that moments like those don't provide great memories, such as when "the cool, the crazy, the fabulous" Flaming Lips show up on the aforementioned "90210". I never knew Steve Sanders was such a fan of pseudo-experimental mid-90s alt-rock.

5. Supernatural twists
Sure, "Gossip Girl" is intriguing, and they all wear cool cothes and make hip musical references, yada yada yada. But, what if Chuck could also see GHOSTS?! And Blair killed vampires at night?!? Hint: You could also use crossovers in this category. Jennifer Love "J-Love" Hewitt and Chuck would make a great ghost whispering team, J-Love so pure and Chuck so sassy but straight. The sexual tension is heating my laptop up right now.

6. Do it online
I know that networks are probably going to do this already, but al.low writers to have more options by providing more shows online. Oh yeah, that's what the strike was about in the first place.

7. Write your comedy
Yes, there are many quality sitcoms on television, pre-strike. Now, I challenge "SNL" writers post-strike to rely even more on snappy writing and less on skits like one-time host Dane Cook having so many giant bottles of water hit his head. Actually, keep all Dane Cook-like influences as far away as possible.

8. CROSSOVERS!
Did I mention crossovers yet? More crossovers, please. Let it sink in a little bit. George Jetson and Fred Flintstone, together. From different times, but similar experiences. Amazing.

9. Blair Underwood on every show
Blair Underwood is EVERYWHERE today. He was on "Dirty Sexy Money" pre-strike, he's currently on "In Treatment", and he will be on "The New Adventures of Old Christine". I'm not sure my life is complete without his warm acting presence everywhere I look. Actually, I'd also like to make him my friend. And I would like to formally ask him to blog for us. Blair Underwood, will you please blog for us, wherever you are?

10. Kill Reality Television!!!!!
Please. Let. It. End. Please? No? It's cheaper to make than scripted shows? People still watch reality television? Qualler still enjoys secretly watching "America's Next Top Model" on a weekly basis? You know all my secrets. OK, you win this time, networks.

This entry was posted by Unknown, on Sunday, February 10, 2008. You can leave your response.