Uptown vs. Downtown/The Suburbs

My recent trip to New York taught me many things. First and foremost, I learned that DiFara's Pizza is the most literary and memorable dining experience I have ever experienced and will ever experience in my life - plus it really is the best. Pizza. Ever. Secondly, no matter what metropolitan area you live in, there's always going to be the "hip" side of town and the "wishes it was hip but is really just way too popular to be hip" side of town. NYC has it neatly divided into two boroughs (Queens and Staten Island, naturally - OMG JslashK! Brooklyn and Manhattan for srrs obvi) while the Minneap very simply has Uptown (hipsterville) and Downtown (some hip places, but ultimately just gargantuan unfriendliness incarnate). With tomorrow marking the first Friday in May, the officially summer blockbuster season is upon us. With a vengeance. So shall we give in to the bloated Hollywood epics during its money-grubbing infancy at the downtown multiplex ("also available in the suburbs!" he cries from his township condo just outside the city) or should we turn to the hipper, more cerebral, or dare I say "indie" fare populating the upper and adorably smaller portion of the city, segregated from Minneapolis proper but still chaotic and lined with business up and down the streets like a real city? Let's take a look at what each has to offer...

May 2 brings us Iron Man vs. My Blueberry Nights. Norah Jones and Natalie Portman trying to fit into brilliant director Wong Kar Wai of the Korean New Wave's subtly meandering concentrations on love is probably going to be painful, yet probably still compelling because of the man behind the camera. Same could be said about wanting to watch Robert Downey Jr. zealously overact his way out of the slums that will be Jon Favreau's attempt at schlocking together an action picture. In the end, I think I'll have more fun with the comic book movie, even though I will almost surely feel more hammy Spider-Man gut rot than understated Batman Begins thrills. Also in the mix is the match-up of Made of Honor vs. The Flight of the Red Balloon. I tremble like Oliver when he meets Billy Joel: The Dog for the first time when I think about something so pure and calm from my childhood, such as the original silent short children's film "The Red Balloon," being remade for a new generation. However, the new version is also French, and supposedly just as gently elegiac in nature as its predecessor. So I have to give it more of the benefit of the doubt than a remake of My Best Friend's Wedding.

On May 9, we have Speed Racer vs. Then She Found Me. It's quite a miraculous feat when a live action film based on a cartoon looks more fake than the 2-D animated version that came years before it. I understand wanting a bright and over-the-top aesthetic, but I don't understand the appeal of watching cheese on screen for two hours. On the other hand, Helen Hunt directing herself as a teacher finding her birth mother played by Bette Midler sounds almost less attractive of an option. Can I pick neither? Also stepping up to the plate: What Happens in Vegas vs. The Life Before Her Eyes. During 30 Rock tonight, they showed a full 2-3 minute clip from the tedious Kutcher/Diaz romp, and I almost fell asleep twice during it. So even though it's been getting poor buzz, I'll have to go with the glorified Lifetime movie starring Uma Thurman. School shootings are at least not as played out of a topic than shotgun Vegas weddings.

May 16 hits us with our first sequel juggernaut Prince Caspian vs. Graduation. I honestly don't know if I'd rather watch children skip through a fantasy land with talking lions and endless trite battle sequences or watch children skip graduation to go steal something from some rich guy or something. Having not stayed awake for Snores of the Borings: The Way Too Long Towers, and never having a desire to see any of these other mystical magical films that have burst into popularity, methinks I'll have to settle for the convoluted crime picture. I'm not too upset, though, because as lackadaisical as I am about its description, I generally enjoy gimmick movies at least on a very base level (though it can be sad when indie movies resort to gimmicks). Which reminds me, I should move up Awake on the Nerdflix queue.

Coming May 23 is the expected summer box office champion Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Land of the Lordship of the Golden Monkey Skull That Breathes Fire and is Also a Time Machine vs. Son of Rambow, aka the cutest movie ever. I like Temple of Doom. Deal with it. I also remember moderately enjoying the other two. Part of me wants to give in and watch all three again and go see this wide-eyed and bushy-tailed with little kid wonder. Part of me has a severe case of apathy whose tight existential grip can't be shaken away. Either way, I'll end up seeing it. The British movie about a little kid who sets out to make his own action film will surely make me cry tears of adorable joy and remind me why movies don't have to directly hark back to my youth with long-awaited sequels or adaptations to make me feel young again. There's also the case of Postal vs. Redbelt - one a video game (sigh) adaptation and the other the new David Mamet movie, replete with the expected quick-witted quips from astonishingly complex characters plus a whole plot centered on mixed martial arts. Karate Kid meets Glengarry Glen Ross - NICE.

And finally, May 30 throws Sex and the City: The Movie vs. The Duchess of Langeais in our dumb faces. New clothes, old clothes. Oh dear filmmakers, must I choose only one?

Muxtape updates: songs with words, followed by songs without words.

This entry was posted by chris, on Thursday, May 01, 2008. You can leave your response.