Revealing Secrets

First of all, thank you to the good Doktor for covering for me as I made my way back home from New York City. It's a good thing the Doktor was around too, because our return flight got canceled due to weather. The child in me wanted to take the extra vacation day in NYC and shop/party, but level-headed Chris and Nicole pulled some strings and got us onto a later flight last Monday. Thanks guys.

Having had an entire week apart, dear blogu-reader, we have so much to catch up on! As you may have read in Qualler's post yesterday, I have some new friends - Eleanor and Matthew Furnace of The Fiery Furnaces (yeah, yeah Brigitte, that's not their real last name)!! Friday's concert was amazing despite the fact that very few people actually attended and despite my having to force shy Qualler to ask for his much-desired signatures. Fortunately he got his poster signed and didn't totally embarrass himself in front of the latest additions to our blogu-friendship circle. That wasn't so bad, was it Qualler?

This week was also pretty big in the celebrity gossip scene. Mariah Carey got married to some dude who plays her love interest in a video for, "Bye Bye." Doesn't anyone learn lessons from Britney Spears?! Spears' dirty laundry has not just been aired, it is strewn all over Hollywood's metaphorical front lawn! It's kind of hard to miss the very important lesson here: if you are a pop princess, marrying your backup dancer/actor is a BAD idea - especially when you've only been dating for a couple of weeks. I give the marriage a very generous 4 months. And given the post-Glitter incident, I can only imagine the meltdown Carey is headed for when this relationship falls apart.

And speaking of marriages falling apart, it turns out that our beloved Barbara Walters had an affair like three decades ago. Understandably, the public is a little disappointed that the motherly, feel-good journalist who brought us to tears with her interviews was engaged in such foul behavior, but why does anyone care? Isn't all of Hollyweird having one big adulterous orgy anyway? I say, let he who has not had an extra-marital affair with a senator cast the first stone.

But if you're going confess all of your sinful secrets, where better to do it than on Oprah? Oprah's not going tell you to do ten "Hail Mary's" and an "Our Father." Oprah's going give you a hug and positive affirmations of your worth as a human being. Yes, you've got to confess to millions of viewer, but think about the lifetime's worth of heart-wrenching guilt you can avoid.

Perhaps the most important piece of Hollywood news this week, though, is the Miley Cyrus (ok for workplace viewing) topless photo scandal. I'm not going to post pictures this time like when I blogged about Lindsay Lohan's nude photo-op. Apparently some people can't look at half-naked celebrities at work, so proceed with caution if you want to read more about this story. I'll sum it up for those who don't: Miley Cyrus did a Vanity Fair photo shoot where photographer Anne Leibovitz somehow convinced her to take some "artistic" shots in the buff after her parents had conveniently left the room. The photos were made to look like she was topless, but was fully-clothed underneath a sheet - or at least that's the story Disney is sticking to. I just find it incredibly odd that her parents would leave her at a Vanity Fair shoot by herself and not suspect something might happen. Personally, though, I'm more creeped-out by this very intimate picture of Miley and her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus.


Miley wasn't the only one taking her clothes off though. TMZ did a feature just for the ladies this week on Celebrity Packages - and not the kind you get in the mail. Yes, one of the lowest-brow gossip magazines around, actually followed celebrities around and photographed their special areas. Thank goodness they followed up the "package" pictures with "here's what they look like fully clothed" pictures or I never would have bothered to look at their faces. Talk about getting all hot and bloggered!

Which brings me to the final discussion topic for tonight and the latest blogu-feature...

ANGRY AMY

Amy: "You know what makes me angry? That TMZ television show! It's just TMZ writers laughing and holding up pictures of celebrities that they are going to post on their website later. That's not a TV show! That's a video log of your staff meeting! I'd rather read your comments with some kind of anonymity than have to see that stupid look on your face when 'you've got a good one.' That makes me SO angry!"

Thus concludes tonight's episode of...

ANGRY AMY

This entry was posted by Lady Amy, on Monday, May 05, 2008. You can leave your response.