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Bowza Yowza

Yowza Bowza. Looks like that last post caused some people to get their nongendered panties in a twist. Fortunately, I have minimal interest in gender studies, finding it a boring topic unless taken to the Xtreme (e.g. removal of women from commonplace chores equals removal of humanity from nature). Still, I want to fit in, so I'll try to gendrify my love for the following:

Battlestar Galactica :
I've spilled my guts on Galactica for a while now. It could be the greatest drama of all time (depending on how it ends), surpassing my previous favorite, Dr. Quinn. Unlike the medicine woman, though, strong characters in this show are nearly gender neutral, allowing male or female to fit into any role. It is both a welcome story device as well an integral part of the story, in that we are presented a universe in which all of what happens might have already happened before in a universe where the same actors occupied each other's roles. I don't mean to confuse, nor do I mean to scare you away with a philosophical plot thread which sits on the edge of an otherwise tangible story. I do mean to intrigue you. And I do order you to watch this show (in order!) during the present and upcoming TV lull.

The cast lineup - a mandatory marketing device since Grecian theatre first put on Kevin Jameseus' King of Queens: The Polity

I know I have some weird taste. I am even allergic to shrimp, expanding upon the meaning of "taste." Nevertheless, Battlestar Galactica is a universal good! Half of Europe (represented by my dormmates in London) can't be wrong; history has proven that. For all you people who, regardless of your thigh characteristics, do not like Star Trek-esque sci-fi, I am here to say that this is an alien-free space opera. You've got humans and you've got Cylons (robots), and, believe it or not, you do not got Will Smith. Yes, the lack of Will Smith is a downer, but he's busy hanging out with grotesquely-CGI deer.

Concluding statement/plea: The Galactica world is overwhelmingly familiar, focusing on realism more than techno-pron, and all you need to have to enjoy the show is a mind that can see past the nerdtastic title. Watch the opening miniseries and watch the first episode of Season 1. If you still don't like it, then I'll let you stop, and I'll forgive you on the surface. Underneath, I'll know that you will never grow as close to me as you could have.

XX/XY QUICK HITS

John Tucker Must Die - If this is supposed to be a chick flick, then why did I have to layer my pants? Ohhh I get it they were luring my member to a story I'd otherwise find uninteresting with promises of young, tanned beauties. Great job! They win, I don't care, and I will happily lose the battle every time.

I don't see Sophia Bush as a woman. I see her as a person who was in the same bar as me on my 21st and therefore probably looked at me for a second or two.

Tin Man - SciFi, when not producing real shows like Battlestar Galactica, is busy churning out a bunch of shi*. Tin Man seems to be the latest addition to this arsenal. Will this miniseries that provides yet another twist on The Wizard of Oz rise above weirdness-for-the-sake-weirdness? I doubt it, although I may give it a chance. I'm also still angry at lead Zooey Deschanel for becoming the permanent image of the Hitchhiker Guide's Trillian in my head. It's not that I hate Zooey. I just think that I'd prefer to imagine whatever woman my mind decided to create. I'm told that this process of projecting fictional relationships onto actual people is something normal people do, only they adapt their fantasies to fit the droll of society. Who told me that? My psychologist, of course - Ronnie the Lion.

The guy on the right is the Tin Man. It's probably a metaphor.

American Gladiators - How much more neutered can you get than big blobs of steroidal air pockets shooting tennis balls at scurrying firemen/Bostonian housewives? The answer is none more neutered, and NBC is bringin' it all back early next year. Finally, after three years of my most-watched channel (Heroes, Conan, The Office) feeding me Biggest Loser commercials I fail to comprehend, there will be a reality show ad I can follow. "Wait, why do I want to tune in to watch fatties exercise and whine about their lives and how they... GLITTERING MUSCLES AND JOUST STICKS YES YES YES!"

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  1. Blogger nicole | 6:34 AM |  

    I don't think anyone thought that "John Tucker Must Die" was marketed as a chick flick. Just because a movie stars mostly girls, doesn't mean it's trying to appeal to them, or that it's plot isn't geared directly at guys. I hate the term chick flick even more now!

  2. Blogger Dave | 8:39 AM |  

    Guys, it's simple: Dudes are big and strong and important and smart and great. Ladies are pretty.

    Harry is absolutely right about BSG; it's amazing, and will suck you in and make you want to fight robots (not that you need much help in that department). GO WATCH IT NOW.

    But anyways, Harry - I loved the way you used the word "techno-pron". I can't wait until non-1337 readers think you made a typo! And I just watched Razor, which at first I was afraid would be boring, but then got cool. (Sorta felt like the lesbians were a bit forced, though.)

    By the by, CHRIS POLLEY - great job using the Saab Aero X concept car in your last post!

  3. Blogger chris | 10:16 AM |  

    concept car? does that mean it's not real? it's the first thing that came up when i image googled "cars."

    zooey deschanel rules!!!!! and so does BSG (so far - on the 2nd episode)...

  4. Blogger Brigitte | 11:45 AM |  

    we are pretty! (giggles)

    also, i have to say that John Tucker Must Die was most definitely marketed as a chick flic...

  5. Blogger qualler | 11:48 AM |  

    Somebody show some proof either direction that John Tucker Must Die was or was not marketed as a chick flick.

    Harry, does this mean I should tape the BSG TV movie that is going to be on Sci-Fi soon? Does this mean I will indeed turn into a robot as well?

  6. Blogger qualler | 11:50 AM |  

    By the way, if I wanted passive-aggressive fighting about things in comment sections, I would be reading LiveJournal.

  7. Blogger Brigitte | 12:34 PM |  

    harry's a dick.

    mark's a tool.

    dave sucks eggs.

    nicole's stupid.

    chris frequently smells bad.

  8. Blogger Brigitte | 12:35 PM |  

    also, you really need proof that john tucker must die was marketed as a chick flic?? chicks getting revenge on a guy who screwed with them? what else would it have been marketed as?

  9. Blogger Brigitte | 12:41 PM |  

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/John-Tucker-Must-Jesse-Metcalfe/dp/B000KGGP1C

    i don't know how to make a hyperlink...(obvi, i'm a girl!) so just copy and paste, please. or someone explain to me how to create a hyperlink.

  10. Blogger qualler | 12:47 PM |  

    I dunno, Brigitte, it seems pretty gender neutral to me.

  11. Blogger Katherine | 12:55 PM |  

    wait. . .American Gladiators is coming back?! seriously!? and y'all are worried about gender battling??

    pssshhht.

    fools, all ya'll.

  12. Blogger Katherine | 12:57 PM |  

    oh and dave is right, we ladies are pretty.

    thank you.

    finally, for recognizing it.

  13. Blogger Brigitte | 1:05 PM |  

    i love katie. i have nothing bad to say about her either passive aggressively or aggressive aggressively. except this: american gladiators? really? really?! ew.

  14. Blogger Katherine | 1:12 PM |  

    in response i think i will simply quote the well-put post and say, "GLITTERING MUSCLES AND JOUST STICKS YES YES YES"

  15. Blogger DoktorPeace | 2:27 PM |  

    Mark - The BSG movie that was just on is the Razor ep Dave mentioned. It's a sidestory that takes place around the middle of Season 2, and it's well worth a watch, but only once you get that far. Don't worry about taping it. It's already being released (with an extra half-hour) on DVD next week. Razor had to be shown on TV first because of contractual-issues surrounding whoever owns the movie rights to the license.

    Regarding John Tucker Must Die - It's not the chickiest flickiest I've seen, and I may even lean towards saying it was just aimed at generic high schoolers. I just wanted to talk about it and its effect on my penis.

  16. Blogger DoktorPeace | 2:28 PM |  

    Oh, and yes Mark. You will turn into a robot.

  17. Blogger DoktorPeace | 2:31 PM |  

    Oh, and Dave. Yeah the lesbian thing wasn't great, but it added a level to Cain's treatment of Gina, so it worked. Maybe the extra half-hour will help that all go down a bit smoother.

  18. Blogger Brigitte | 4:19 PM |  

    i don't think you actually called it a chick flic, did you?

  19. Blogger Brigitte | 4:20 PM |  

    oh wait, yes you did. i am not a careful reader (ashamed face).

  20. Blogger Dave | 5:19 PM |  

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  21. Blogger Dave | 5:20 PM |  

    Of COURSE John Tucker Must die was a Chick Flick! Are you people kidding me?

    Gee, I dunno, was Crank an action movie? Hmmmmm... Hummmm... I mean, sure there was action in it, but was it an Action movie? Maybe it was a romance - there was a relationship in it... Hmmmmm...

    This is fun, commenting like this.

  22. Blogger DoktorPeace | 5:30 PM |  

    I'll tell you what Crank was - robbed at the Oscars! Crank was the most fun I had at a movie that year, whatever year that was (last year?).

  23. Blogger nicole | 6:50 PM |  

    I think my idea of what constitutes a chick flick is different from most of yours. I always thought it was a movie that girls would want to see because it had romantic content, emotional themes, or humor from a female perspective. JTMD just looked to me like what a guy would think a girl would want to see. Similarly, "Newsies" seemed like what a female producer would think a guy would want to see (a musical with dance numbers about newsboys in old New York, heavy on the emotions and male-bonding, lusting after a 50+ Ann-Margaret).

  24. Blogger ashm | 11:10 PM |  

    I think of "chick flick" as a generic term for a whole class of films primarily focused on personal relationships and following a simple, gentle and predictable story arc, with actual plot details and dialogue being essentially unimportant. You know, the kind of film where you can leave in the middle to spend ten minutes on the phone to your mother without missing anything.

    In many guys' experience, girls seem to prefer these, having no patience for films where you have to actually listen to the dialogue or notice details of what's on screen to understand the plot. Most women I know have never gotten more than half way into the likes of Fargo or even The Usual Suspects before getting confused and either wandering off or falling asleep.

    A psychologist friend of mine once told me that this is because men tend to be more visual and want to observe detail, analyse and be led through a story, whilst women tend to prefer absorbing a plot or situation and internalising characters in a more empathic than analytical process.

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