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2007 American Music Awards

By now you're probably sick of hearing about Brigitte and Qualler's wedding. So tonight, instead, lets talk about some of the things Lady Amy will do in your home if you let her house/dog-sit while you're on your honeymoon:

1) I will make dinner (with YOUR food) in the buff. That's a given.
2) I will attempt to wear every article of clothing you own simultaneously - (a more daunting task than one would think)
3) I will throw a party and break one of your new plates, then run to Crate and Barrel to replace it only to find out they have discontinued that model. I will then buy the nearest match I can find and hope you don't notice when you get back.
4) I will assume your collective identity and be caught by the police, but finagle my way out of jail time by flirting with the judge.

Let's just say, the Quallers will have a very interesting homecoming.


2007 American Music Awards half-heartedly hosted by Jimmy Kimmel

Sunday night at the Quallers and the only thing on television is the American Music Awards. I was going to switch it off but out of the corner of my eye I caught Jimmy Kimmel tackling Kid Rock and decided to watch. Because of the Writers Guild strike, Kimmel wasn't supposed to write any jokes ahead of time - and believe me he didn't. The improv was about as good as a high school theater department playing "freeze" to warm up before a show.

The infrequent, ad-libbed appearances included awkward dances with former American Idols, jokes about 14 year-olds having sex, and non-jokes said in funny voices about Beyonce's dad beating him up.

Not that I think Jimmy Kimmel is a particularly funny person to begin with, but maybe, just maybe, he misunderstood the terms of the writers strike. Perhaps he thought they were striking comedy altogether and thus attempted to make a complete fool out of himself rather than put any effort into an impromptu performance.


Sugarland covers Irreplaceable

And apparently it's not the first time:



I must say I was disappointed Sunday night to see that Beyonce not only knew Sugarland was butchering her song, but actively supported it by joining them on stage. If there's anything more blasphemous than a jug band, bluegrass cover of a Beyonce song, it's Beyonce attending the ho-down.


On the upside:

Chris Brown performed a superb rendition of "Kiss Kiss" including a crew of dancers, who I assumed were all dressed up as glow-in-the-dark spiders, doing Michael Jackson-esk moves in unison. Even better was the last 30 seconds of the song when three of the glow-in-the-dark spiders danced while suspended from the ceiling a la Mission Impossible style. Tom Cruise, eat your heart out!

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  1. Blogger Katherine | 12:07 PM |  

    glow in the dark spiders! YEOW! I'm glad i missed that one!!



    SCARRRRRRRY!

  2. Blogger chris | 12:20 PM |  

    haha oh how i wish there was a youtube clip of these "improv" awards show jokes...or do i? maybe bruce vilanche will finally be respected if everyone realizes what happens when awards shows don't have writers!

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