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and Heather lives on.

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogugation (congregation), I present to you for the first time...Mrs. Qualler! Imagine something a bit like Ms. Pacman--I look just like Qualler, only I have a bow in my head.

As I sit in my home, glance at my newly purchased luggage set, watching Everybody Loves Raymond and wondering where my youth went, I'd like to begin by bringing up a recent phenomenon. Our recent wedding could have been directed by Sofia Coppela: the music and party scenes were great, the guests had costumes and props, and the setting was a modern art museum.
Here's an actual photo from the rehearsal:

Photos from this sacred and blissful event were almost immediately posted on what is now becoming the very thing which holds the fabric of our youth society together: Facebook. I have to admit, I didn't feel that the marriage was quite official until Qualler and I changed our relationship status. This social network once divided the young from the old, so what happens now that the photo albums no longer revolve around raging Friday night parties and instead showcase weddings, honeymoons, quiet evening spent with friends, and even our children? Weird, man. Sunrise, sunset, and all that jazz.

Moving on to this week's episode of ANTM, I have to say I am shocked and not surprised at the same time. Heather (our autistic friend and a favorite of the producers as she never fails to pull in the ratings) had a TERRIBLE episode. She did extremely poorly in the challenge (she forgot her lines in the runway showcase) and then didn't do so hot (pun intended, the photo shoot involved a burning car) in her photo shoot. And yet not only was she not eliminated, she wasn't even in the bottom two! The panel of judges didn't have a harsh word to say about her, other than "this wasn't her best week." Tyra even said "Heather's hot!" when reviewing her mediocre photo. Now, I'd hate to be the one to cry conspiracy or favoritism, but COME ON. She was terrible, and I love the girl! I was glad that she wasn't eliminated, however much she might have deserved it. Instead they eliminated some girl whose name I can't remember.

Hooray for Heather? I still love her, and very much want her to win, but...something about it now leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

A sour taste, similar to Sour Patch Kids! Only, not so yummy...Now that I think about it, in many ways, America's Next Top Model is like sour patch kids. I don't really enjoy how they make me feel, and the tiny bit of goodness which is the sugar sprinkled on top is really overpowered by the sour. But, if someone's passing around some little colorful candies, I'm going to take a handful.

So what's all sweet without the sour? Gossip Girl, which is quickly becoming my very favorite new show. So much sugar! I almost can't stand it. Sure, there's nothing really there...but it's so delicious. As if the masked ball episode wasn't wonderful enough, all this who's sleeping with whom drama is just too good. It's so good, in fact, that I can forget that these are all basically the same characters from the O.C., only with more New York style and even bigger bank accounts.

I'd like to say more, but Qualler keeps yelling "why are all the lights so bright? Is this an operating room? No more overhead lights!" so I think that means it's time to go to bed.

Goodnight everybody!

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  1. Blogger Sean | 12:28 AM |  

    they kicked off ambreal i think.

    i totally thought heather was gone for sure, based entirely on the heavily cobbled scenes earlier in the episode that foreshadowed her losing it if she lost.

    oh, and "models wasteland"? really? why not just re-do the thing where they all look dead and bloody. that's soooo sexy..

    "c'mon, look pissed off and desperate! yes, that's the look. (snaps photo)"

  2. Blogger Katherine | 8:59 AM |  

    I have to say (as i push my glasses up by the bridge using my pointer finger) that if you carefully have watched all episodes of ANTM, Heather clearly was not next on the chopping block,as they say. she has proved herself trainable and she just had a bad week! on the other hand what's her face is terrible. and no one can ever remember her name! theory proven!

    also, i need a prototype for these quwaller and mrs. quwaller characters. they sound wonderful. i'm thinking purple bow, brigitte?

    and don't even get me started on gossip girl. oh chuck! who knew you could be human! oh the drama!

  3. Blogger Katherine | 8:59 AM |  

    oh. . it says katherine. funny. it's me! Katie!

    ha. fooled ya!

  4. Blogger Brigitte | 9:54 AM |  

    hahahahahah, oh katie! you had us all fooled!

    way to comment! :)

    ms. qualler (yes, purple bow. you make some preliminary sketches and we'll do coffee)

  5. Blogger Sean | 10:26 AM |  

    why was serena pissed about chuck and blair?
    and what's up with eyebrows and jenny?

    that's what i call that guy. he has funny eyebrows.

  6. Blogger qualler | 11:29 AM |  

    Ambreal was the one who was constantly smiling who I hated. I was totally into giving her the boot. All I remember from half watching ANTM and sleeping was Heather totally flubbing her lines, giggling, then walking away. I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!! TURN OFF THOSE G**D****ED OPERATING LIGHTS AND BECKETT GET OUT OF MY FACE I'M TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!! roarrrrrrr.

  7. Blogger chris | 12:11 PM |  

    oh man i gotta get to the cw video player and catch up on gg!!!

    chuck (evil josh hartnett) is human?!?!?! NO WAY.

    i thought i liked ambreal, but i can't remember why, because THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.

  8. Blogger Nicole | 3:16 PM |  

    I'm glad you clarified, Katie, because my initial thought was "How many more people do my friends know and get to blog?" But, phew because my friendship quota is totally filled.

    But, no, they're not all the same on ANTM. One has a disability, Chris. She's got Ausberger's, or is it Asberger's? Oh, who cares. She's weird and that will make it harder to be a model.

    PS- It was fun to see some friends last night. I always come away from group gatherings thinking "Wow, that was fun but now I'm pretty sure all my friends hate me." I think it's the prolonged, subtle sarcasm about my irrelevance. Oh well. It's probably how Heather feels, too.

  9. Blogger Brigitte | 3:23 PM |  

    um, i don't think comments on the blogulator is the appropriate way to assert hard feelings about friends or friends' comments...should we talk about this in group, nicole?

  10. Blogger Brigitte | 3:28 PM |  

    sean: i like calling him eyebrows. he DOES have funny eyebrows. from now on, that's his official blog name.

  11. Blogger nicole | 4:33 PM |  

    No, we don't need to schedule a session for us all again (it was all too painful last time), I just mentioned that to prove my point that the models aren't all the same: Heather is relatable.

  12. Blogger Sean | 5:26 PM |  

    thanks brigette.

    i totally forgot to bring up the crazy "we're going to china" thing on ANTM. what was that about?? they have like 10 cliches all in the same studio. dragon, gong, dudes with knives, tyra waving around a big fan..
    i can't wait till they announce a trip to some indian reservation and tyra starts whooping with her hand to her mouth while she does a fake rain dance and feathers and walking totem poles dance on screen.

  13. Anonymous Dwaller | 9:00 AM |  

    Actually, I think it's "ass burgers". Or is that offensive? Whatever, I'm saying it.

    By the way, I have a mad craving for sour patch kids now, but I can't get any at work! Thanks a lot, BRIGITTE!

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