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Brides Don't Blog...

...and hips don't lie.

Because this Saturday I officially become Mrs. Qualler, and I'm swiming in wedding fun and last minute details, I'll keep this brief.

I realized that missing last week's episode of America's Next Top Model was NBD (no big deal according to these cellular phone advertisements I keep seeing) because it was A RECAP EPISODE! Sorry, Tyra, even your promise of "never before seen footage" doesn't make this excuse for an episode watchable. Consider yourself deleted, Halloween's ANTM!

This week it was back in full swing, and who gets eliminated? The fat one. Each season (or rather, most seasons) ANTM casts one plus sized model to show how forwardly thinking and "brave" they really are. (I suppose they don't really need a fatty this season, since they've already got an autistic girl, but moving on...)

The token "plus sized" model this season was really just a "not quite skinny enough to be a real model" and as soon as she started losing weight during the filming the judges had to cut her. They pointed out to her that her weight loss is really what hurt her, since she is no longer really marketable as a plus sized model, but still way too big to be America's Next Top Model. So, really, her weight loss hurt her, which, according to Tyra, is great for people to see, since it proves that skinny is not always the best thing in this industry. Wrong, Tyra!! She just still wasn't skinny enough. And, let's face it, she would have been cut soon anyway, so her weight loss is really just a good excuse for the producers.

Here's a little eye candy for the ladies: this week's celebrity guest, with whom the girls danced (re: sexed it up with) in his newest music video.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you someone who is totally still relevant in American pop culture...Enrique Iglesias!

Speaking of relevant, contemporary pop culture icons, here's a Cinemax (moniker Skinimax....or according to Qualler, their "monkier") film description:
Innerspace
PG Movie
Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, Meg Ryan, 1987.
A grocery clerk gets jabbed with a hypodermic holding a miniaturized Air Force pilot and craft (in stereo)

Now, who doesn't have fond memories of watching this movie as a small child? Martin Short is so funny! And what an actor! Just look at his face! Is that not the face of a shrinking man?

And he gets really tiny and goes inside a body...it's great!

Here's a sample from a conversation that I overheard this evening about Innerspace:

Katie: It's just like human body wars at Disney Land but a movie!
Qualler: Yeah but I'd rather go on the ride than watch the movie...
Kaite: It used to be our favorite ride!
Qualler: I actually never went...I heard it makes you throw up.


Thank you Minneapolis, Goodnight!

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  1. Blogger Sean | 12:09 AM |  

    Yeah, thanks to these posts I actually watched part of ANTM tonight (it's better than that Phenomenon crap on NBC) and I sorta liked it.

    I totally found it hilarious when they booted the fat girl.
    "Sorry, in modeling you can either be plus size or really, really, really skinny. There's no room for you, normal-sized models."

    Also, at first I thought the judge's comments of "you just didn't look vampire enough" or "you look hoochie and not sexy" or "this is the wrong attitude" were just absurd, I mean, they're just eye candy in a freaking music video, who cares?
    But then, when i watched the music video preview at the end... wow. those judges are good. some of those girls just did not have the right look.. and modeling takes talent.

    p.s. gossip girl is interesting stuff, it has all the rich/poor dynamic of the OC without all the self-depricating humor and jew/gentile relations. i also love the fact that the parents of the steamy teens are all thirty five year olds. solid show. i look forward to more new eps.
    jumping into a show late is fun. makes you guess why the characters (serena and blair??) hate each other.

    p.p.s. GG is relevant cause it airs after ANTM

    this is long.
    good post, Bridgett!

  2. Blogger nicole | 6:11 AM |  

    1. I'm mad that Enrique might have a small hit with a copy of one of my favorite songs by Ringside. And that he's not as cute as Balthazar Getty, nor as self-deprecatingly rich (see:"My villas in Tuscany aren't castles" and John Paul Getty).

    2. I know someone in Innerspace! At the beginning, in the scene with the scientists, the one with long black hair is a good family friend. Which makes me famous by association.

  3. Blogger qualler | 9:13 AM |  

    Wow, Nicole, I read your comment and saw "I'm mad that Enrique might blah blah something Mark doesn't know about, reference to obscure David Lynch actor and assumingly one of his character's traits, as well as potentially a line in some kind of play/movie/book and a reference to a guy whose museum I went to when I was 9 and didn't know what the H was going on but was captivated by the naked lady statues." You are TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL!!!

    And Brigitte...we shall make everyone show that their hips don't lie on Saturday...yes....yes...YES! *turns into a bat and flies away*

  4. Blogger Nicole | 9:57 AM |  

    I was going to explain what it all meant, since I guess it is a little bit convoluted and without context, but I won't. I am too cool for school, which is why I'm leaving at noon today!

  5. Blogger qualler | 10:13 AM |  

    Convoluted and without context is the only way I talk! That's why they invented a game show based on me called "What's Mark Talking About?" You can be the host, and we'll totally stump all of our contestents, then go into the money machine and win every time.

  6. Blogger chris | 11:44 AM |  

    sean, we should totally have a gossip girl blog-off. if you're interested in finding out what that means, e-mail me.

    brigitte, document more of qualler's in-home commentary. i mean we blog with him, but we're not MARRIED to him. qualler could do the same for you.

    hollywood movie idea! a married couple blogs about each other privately and soon both start reading each other's blogs without them knowing. hilariousness ensues! it's like an inverted you've got mail meets mr. and mrs. smith. some kind of gunfight will inevitably happen of course.

  7. Anonymous Best Man Dan | 4:40 PM |  

    I think I remember that at the end of that movie, Martin Short has to cry so that Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan can escape his body through his tears. Really, you've never heard of a mouth before? You know, that big wide open thing that would probably be really easy to escape from?

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