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Lost Theories From People Who Are Now Caught Up On Lost

I knew I've watched way too much Lost in the past few weeks when the following thoughts popped into my head, completely independently of each other, in a two minute span, while watching parts of the Tennessee Titans-Arizona Cardinals game this afternoon:

1) The network shows clips of Super Bowl XXXIV, in which coach Jeff Fisher circa 1999 of the Tennessee Titans brought his team a yard from a game-tying touchdown in the last second. Cut to a shot of a barely-if-at-all-aged Jeff Fisher circa 2009, and the thought that goes through my head is "Whoa, is Richard Alpert coaching the team?"

2) We see highlights of an earlier part of the game, in which quarterback Vince Young made a critical mistake in not managing the clock well and thus lost the team a chance to get a field goal that would have eventually made the score 17-16 near the end of the game instead of 17-13. The thought that went through my head: "Whatever happened, happened, Fox Sports. You can't change destiny."

Aw, eff, Lost has been sunken deeply into my subconscious. But when a show is that freaking great, it's a welcome invitation to my subconscious. So, like I did twice before, I present to you, Lost theories, from someone who is now fully caught up on Lost.

1. Whatever happened, happened, for good.
Whether it's some form of ka (destiny, as defined by Stephen King's Dark Tower series) or perhaps slightly different, one thing we've (probably) learned in season five of Lost is that we are not as in control of our lives and what happens in our lives as we would like. And, there is some greater force guiding us toward something.

2. Locke is dead, for good.
The only John Locke we will see going forward is the one in flashbacks, or the corpse version with variouis people coming up to his body in shock. By the way, what a great twist it was that the Locke running around wasn't really Locke. I didn't see that coming at all, even with Ben privately expressing his wonder with Sun about Locke "coming back to life." Overall, Ben's standing on the show from Crazy Mystical Psycho-Killer to Sad, Abused Man-Child Grasping For Straws through the arc of season five has to be one of the best of 2009.

3. Purgatory.

Brigitte suggested this one again and apparently won't give it up. I guess I won't take it away from her. So, in a twist, they're all in purgatory. Twist!

4. Jacob handpicked those who could save the island.

By the way, Jacob's a good guy, right? He's good, right? Crap, Ben killed him, though. And he started on fire. Not good signs for a guy who should probably be a good guy.

5. Jacob's not really dead, somehow.
I hope not, at least. And I hope "Man #2", aka Esau, aka the dude who said he found a loophole and then ostensibly turned into a ghost Locke (and ghost Christian Shephard, ghost Claire, and ghost Alex? Eh? Is that a theory, or just something totally obvious and we already know that now?) sticks around for season six, because Titus Welliver, he of Deadwood and now Sons of Anarchy is a really cool actor.

6. Jacob and the Smoke Monster are the same "person."
This is also a theory from Brigitte, who noted that we've yet to see the Smoke Monster and Jacob in the same room. I guess I can't argue with that logic, but...

7. They're totally all gonna be in a different places at the beginning of next season.

Like, all the castaways together at LAX airport (per the season six premiere episode title "LA X"), or, probably more likely, somewhere unexpected, like Tunisia or Minneapolis, MN.

8. General observation: It has successfully merged the ass-kicking action of 24 without totally focusing on that and eventually wearing itself out like 24 did.
Okay, this isn't really a Lost theory per se as much as it is an observation of the multiple scenes in the season finale "The Incident" in which Lost's Jack Shephard shot a bunch of people point blank with his pistol while running around not unlike 24's Jack Bauer. Thankfully those scenes, while action-packed and riveting in small doses, haven't yet overtaken Lost the way they've swamped 24(*).

(*)Seriously, though, when is that show gonna freaking end? They took an entire year off thanks to the writers' strike, and they're still at it with the whole "I'm Jack Bauer, I don't work for CTU anymore." Let me know when Jack Bauer inevitably gets killed permanently and I'll watch that episode. Until then...snooze.

9. Series finale prediction:
Some island survivors will end up immortal, possibly tragically separated from the ones they've loved, but in an epilogue-style scene, will be reunited with those, and they will live happily ever after in the other world. It will be delightfully bittersweet. (My prediction: Hurley and a newly-living Libby.) The finale will close all plot loopholes and be a combination of heartbreaking (Sawyer losing Juliet into the magnet), heartwarming (Penny and Desmond reuniting), heartbreakingly heroic (Charlie sacrificing himself), and mindblowing (pretty much everything from season five.)


10. One final observation...what the eff happened to that super annoying eye-patch guy who eventually killed Charlie? I hope he comes back, somehow.

I'm so ready to spend the next two months of my life frantically discussing Lost theories on message boards and e-mail threads that will undoubtedbly all be dashed in minutes in every future episode. Bring it on, final season of Lost!

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  1. Blogger chris | 2:08 PM |  

    It certainly does seem like Esau is all the dead Losties, but I wonder if Esau is actually also the Smoke Monster rather than Jacob. I dunno, so confusing/awesome!

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