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Ad It Up: The Price of Beauty

I love home shopping. Infomercials, As Seen on TV, all of it! Because for the most part, it is all completely useless junk and either looks totally homemade or really dissimilar to what you'd think it should look like. For example, this product here on the left -- looks like it should be a dirty sex toy of some kind, right? Well it's not, you perv! It's a very important new beauty product that will be the arch-nemesis of double chins, turkey necks, and giggly jowls everywhere. Guaranteed to make you look younger in two weeks! When I first saw this infomercial, I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous this neck pump looks. Here's how it works:

Only $19.99! What a good deal. And it comes with a travel bag (because you definitely won't be too embarrassed to have airport security find an ambiguous pump inside your carry-on) and a training DVD (because it's important to have a choreographed routine for your two minute face flab workout). I'm convinced.

I also love that it takes infomercials soooo much longer than the average new gadget/gizmo commercial to explain why I ought to buy something that in theory should address a need or annoyance that I've just accepted as part of life. This one took a full two minutes to tell me that jowls are ugly. Duh. (iPod commercials take just 30 seconds to show me that I need them to express my individuality, but I'm usually convinced in under 10.) My theory is that infomercials are simply too honest about the sell. They always try to convince you by showing what your life is like with and without the product so you can feel like you are thoroughly weighing your options. Do you want to be ugly or do you want to have a slim neckline? Need proof? How about these before and after pictures? Now this method, I think, is particularly effective with old people because they never think they waste money on useless stuff, so you have to make them think that the product is necessary. But how often do you actually see these products in action besides in the infomercial? That's why I love The Tonight Show segment "Andy'll Try It." Last week, Andy actually tried out the Neckline Slimmer:

Surprisingly, it looks just a ridiculous in 'real life' as it does on the commercial. Granted, everything looks silly when done by Andy Richter. But still.

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  1. Blogger Papa Thor | 1:26 PM |  

    I have never wasted money on useless stuff. unless you count "Bambino Boxing", but that was when I was young.

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