A Brief Moratorium on Filmic Disappointment
March Recap: Miraculously enough, I wound up coming out about even at the end of this month. Sure, I'm about to go see Vantage Point in a half-hour (Drillbit Taylor is only playing at 10:40 and Mr. Wilson isn't enough to keep us out that late on a weeknight!) and I just might drag DoktorPeace out to see Run, Fatboy, Run while I visit him this weekend (despite Sean's adamant warning aginnit), but when it's all said and done, March was not as much of a month for movies as I might have originally thought. It might have something to do with the fact that I only saw two movies this month, but whatever. A lack of disappointment is a lack of disappointment, regardless of the quantity of product consumed. At least between those two movies, I got mild and good-natured enjoyment (Be Kind Rewind) and a big fat steaming pile of adequacy (Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day). Lady Amy did good work explaining the sprightly feeling garnered from the newest Michel Gondry vehicle, but still, it bears repeating for me especially, because the cutesy stop-motion construction paper flower inside my heart wilted after snoozing through the self-serving The Science of Sleep. So seeing Gondry back on his game warmed me inside - Sean is right in the end, however, it's not necessarily a good movie. But it's fun.
[Begin fake British accent, and for those of you have heard my fake British accent, this should be infinitely more hilarious]: This Pettigrew movie, though, this was quite fascinating for yours truly. You see chap, usually when I frequent a theatre, it's to view a film of my own personal desire. In a farcical but necessary twist, I did receive a blunt reality check when my dearest Jerksica (with biting wit I may add) pointed out how men such as I do always get our way when it comes to visiting the local picture house. So, being the young gentleman that I am, I stepped aside to let the lady decide the night's endeavor. A curious little piece she did choose, the graceful and subtly ingenious Frances McDormand starred alongside a bright and irreverent Amy Adams as two women on opposite ends of the social spectrum in 1930s England, but with essentially the same problem: men. One dame has too little, one has too many - quite comic the situation we have on our hands here, naturally. Not only this sweet readers, but social class something something! [Gets exhausted, end fake British accent] Basically, it's a fine movie that surprisingly held my attention despite endless smarmy looks and jokes that called more for a "harumph!" than an actual laugh. It's flat, static, and yet remarkably pretty and well acted. I could complain, but then again, my vote was to see 10,000 B.C. Women really are smarter than us toads.
[Edit -- Just got back from Vantage Point. Can't say much other than not in recent past has a movie contained so much use of the phrase "Not on my watch!" Or maybe I just wished it included more use of that phrase. It's like Michael Bay's thesis from film school, after he just watched Go and it totally changed his life, but then ten years later hacked up in an editing room and turned into an extended 24 episode. Seriously though, WHAT A RUSH! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!]
April Preview: Speaking of movies with "harumph!" jokes, Leatherheads - that odd little screwball comedy about the birth of football starring and directed by the king of smarm, George Clooney - comes out next Friday, April 4th. I don't know what kind of demographic this movie interests, seemingly synthesizing the innocuous old-timey romantic comedy with the underdog sports formula - but it will probably be an awkward hit (but not for too long) based on star power alone. My heroine Jodie will be playing an adventure novelist (who's never been out of her house - ha! hilariousjokes.com/playfulirony) in Nim's Island that weekend as well, alongside Abigail Breslin, who everyone has already forgotten. In addition, Scorsese has a concert documentary (Shine a Light) that will somehow make a Rolling Stones concert cinematic and epic, rather than haggard and sad. Finally, obligatory horror flick (not a remake, has weird spiritual vibe to it): The Ruins.
The following weekend, April 11th, brings us sweet hot Keanu action with Street Kings, where he revenge partner bang cop whoa (aka a must-see - I'm serious, just like this guy). Dennis Quaid takes a break from being the most bad-ass secret service agent in the history of presidents to act like Paul Giamatti in Sideways 2: Still Moping, err, Juno 2: Adulthood's a Drag, err, Smart People. The only genuinely promising wide release in April: The Visitor, starring Richard Jenkins (aka Nathaniel Fisher, Sr.!) who befriends a couple living in America illegally and get hassled by Uncle Sam. I cried at the trailer! My heart went all twisty curvy; I'm such a sucker! And of course, obligatory horror flick (a remake, straight up slasher - no lame spiritual vibe): Prom Night: Stringer Bell Ain't Gonna Get Got. Yes, he's in it! How cool is that?!
The remainder of April brings us Al Pacino doing a longer, probably even more trite version of what his better half, Robert DeNiro, did unsuccessfully with 15 Minutes a few years ago, in 88 Minutes. More Apatow action, because "spreading yourself thin" apparently isn't a phrase the Knocked Up/Superbad/Drillbit Taylor doofus is familiar with, with Forgetting Sarah Marshall, in which somehow the mole-covered lanky guy from How I Met Your Mother was at one point dating Veronica Mars. Rogen + Heigl I'll accept, Carrell + Keener I'll accept, hell even Wilson + Mann I'll accept, but this is just inane and makes me feel creepy for him, if that's possible. I read Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay got a standing ovation at some film festival recently - I actually hope that's true, because otherwise it means I dreamed about our generation's glossy substitute for Cheech & Chong. At the end of it all, Baby Mama will bring a few chuckles but ultimately bring us full circle back to that disappointment I was so sorely lacking throughout March with mediocre lines from the should-be-always-talented Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.
[Begin fake British accent, and for those of you have heard my fake British accent, this should be infinitely more hilarious]: This Pettigrew movie, though, this was quite fascinating for yours truly. You see chap, usually when I frequent a theatre, it's to view a film of my own personal desire. In a farcical but necessary twist, I did receive a blunt reality check when my dearest Jerksica (with biting wit I may add) pointed out how men such as I do always get our way when it comes to visiting the local picture house. So, being the young gentleman that I am, I stepped aside to let the lady decide the night's endeavor. A curious little piece she did choose, the graceful and subtly ingenious Frances McDormand starred alongside a bright and irreverent Amy Adams as two women on opposite ends of the social spectrum in 1930s England, but with essentially the same problem: men. One dame has too little, one has too many - quite comic the situation we have on our hands here, naturally. Not only this sweet readers, but social class something something! [Gets exhausted, end fake British accent] Basically, it's a fine movie that surprisingly held my attention despite endless smarmy looks and jokes that called more for a "harumph!" than an actual laugh. It's flat, static, and yet remarkably pretty and well acted. I could complain, but then again, my vote was to see 10,000 B.C. Women really are smarter than us toads.
[Edit -- Just got back from Vantage Point. Can't say much other than not in recent past has a movie contained so much use of the phrase "Not on my watch!" Or maybe I just wished it included more use of that phrase. It's like Michael Bay's thesis from film school, after he just watched Go and it totally changed his life, but then ten years later hacked up in an editing room and turned into an extended 24 episode. Seriously though, WHAT A RUSH! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!]
April Preview: Speaking of movies with "harumph!" jokes, Leatherheads - that odd little screwball comedy about the birth of football starring and directed by the king of smarm, George Clooney - comes out next Friday, April 4th. I don't know what kind of demographic this movie interests, seemingly synthesizing the innocuous old-timey romantic comedy with the underdog sports formula - but it will probably be an awkward hit (but not for too long) based on star power alone. My heroine Jodie will be playing an adventure novelist (who's never been out of her house - ha! hilariousjokes.com/playfulirony) in Nim's Island that weekend as well, alongside Abigail Breslin, who everyone has already forgotten. In addition, Scorsese has a concert documentary (Shine a Light) that will somehow make a Rolling Stones concert cinematic and epic, rather than haggard and sad. Finally, obligatory horror flick (not a remake, has weird spiritual vibe to it): The Ruins.
The following weekend, April 11th, brings us sweet hot Keanu action with Street Kings, where he revenge partner bang cop whoa (aka a must-see - I'm serious, just like this guy). Dennis Quaid takes a break from being the most bad-ass secret service agent in the history of presidents to act like Paul Giamatti in Sideways 2: Still Moping, err, Juno 2: Adulthood's a Drag, err, Smart People. The only genuinely promising wide release in April: The Visitor, starring Richard Jenkins (aka Nathaniel Fisher, Sr.!) who befriends a couple living in America illegally and get hassled by Uncle Sam. I cried at the trailer! My heart went all twisty curvy; I'm such a sucker! And of course, obligatory horror flick (a remake, straight up slasher - no lame spiritual vibe): Prom Night: Stringer Bell Ain't Gonna Get Got. Yes, he's in it! How cool is that?!
The remainder of April brings us Al Pacino doing a longer, probably even more trite version of what his better half, Robert DeNiro, did unsuccessfully with 15 Minutes a few years ago, in 88 Minutes. More Apatow action, because "spreading yourself thin" apparently isn't a phrase the Knocked Up/Superbad/Drillbit Taylor doofus is familiar with, with Forgetting Sarah Marshall, in which somehow the mole-covered lanky guy from How I Met Your Mother was at one point dating Veronica Mars. Rogen + Heigl I'll accept, Carrell + Keener I'll accept, hell even Wilson + Mann I'll accept, but this is just inane and makes me feel creepy for him, if that's possible. I read Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay got a standing ovation at some film festival recently - I actually hope that's true, because otherwise it means I dreamed about our generation's glossy substitute for Cheech & Chong. At the end of it all, Baby Mama will bring a few chuckles but ultimately bring us full circle back to that disappointment I was so sorely lacking throughout March with mediocre lines from the should-be-always-talented Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.
Labels: chris, Movies, Off the Couch and Into the Theater
"Vantage Point" blew. the twist was super easy and illogical and i saw it a mile away. and after we learn of it, there's no explanation why. what kind of screening process does the u.s. gov have anyway?
to top it off, the characters are all broadly drawn and boring, and the supposed shocking scene of brutal terrorist-on-civilian violence loses any and all impact after it's shown for the fourth time (from a different vantage point... ooh)..
additionally, each re-telling felt like it distorted time too much. i know film time can truncate and expand key scenes for pacing but you can't show parts of scenes in other scenes and then have those same lines of dialogue be spaced 30 seconds apart one time and three minutes the next. it's just lazy.
finally, aside from keeping the viewer in the dark on the weak-ass twists, the gimmicky plot device of switching points of view did nothing but annoy me with redundant information. "Go" is a masterpiece compared to this film. Hell, the episode of "Mad About You" where Paul and Jamie go to a party and talk about it via flashback in a cab on the way home and their re-tellings highlight/deemphasize details is better than "Vantage Point."
rant over.
p.s. chris, when do you get to town? friday night???
Somehow I missed out on "Shutter" opening this weekend, a ghost thrill-ride about the ghosts that are in the background of pictures and te 1% of those pictures that actually do show ghosts, starring the teenage version of the Cloonster, JOSHUA JACKSON!!!!! Where has HE been for all these years??!?!?!?!?! Also that vaguely British "plain" scientist Rachel Taylor from Transformers. Can't wait!!! But seriously, I'll probs see Paranoid Park this weekend.
Sean, all the points you make seem to be made angrily, even though they only give more reason why Vantage Point is the number 1 comedy thrill-ride of the year. It truly was an exhilirating experience watching a movie where the filmmakers have honorably risen above the need for actual characters in a movie. Who needs characters when you can have the Quaid and the Fox just be sweaty and awesome with complete disregard for poise, subtlety, or any of those fancy things most actors worry about?
And don't even get me started on the mesmerizing contortion of chronology in this blockbuster! What a treat!
The Ruins was based on a novel that for some reason (??? nobody can quite explain it) was a bestseller for a while about two years ago. It got a good review in the Times? I always forget that more people write horror than Stephen King. Secretly, I don't know if people should be allowed to. I probs won't see that movie, though.
Oh and by the way, Flawless, the third movie called it, is out now at the Uptown Theater for some reason.....and for some other reason, it was showing on one of the HD channels we have the other night and was totally snooze-worthy.
Haha oh and that picture of Vantage Point on the top is pretty much all I need to know about the movie. I already have enjoyed it as much as you have thinking about the over-the-top nonsensical action sequences. Kind of like Hot Fuzz, but not as self-aware.
Chris--didn't you also see Penelope this month? lest you forget...
also, if everyone's forgotten about Abigale Breslin, why is she billed above Jodie Foster in their upcoming film? if i were Jodie i'd be pretty pissed...
Penelope was covered in last month's movie report, Brig-club...time passes quickly, does it not?
Breslin above FOSTER?!??! There goes my respect for another child star!
Street Kings opening day! I'll skip work!
which child star do you mean, chris? foster or breslin?
wow, penelope was last month?!?!?!?! are you sure? we saw that in february? for serious? how in the...who's talking? where are my grandkids??
The Jodes is NOT a child star!!!! She's a grown woman lady star - she is above her youth!!!!
she'll always be the sun tan lotion kid...i'm totes gonna get you a beach towel with that picture on it.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Abigail Breslin is credited above Jodie Foster because they're marketing the movie to kids, who hopefully haven't seen Silence of the Lambs yet! Abigail is their god (*small g). What's-her-name (a northern state? cooling yourself?) is so over!
ps-I deleted my last post b/c of spelling issues. I'm a disgrace among English teachers:)
leave a response