The Air Up There

As I and my spoiled arse approach the first full summer which threatens to keep me inside for 8 hours a day, I'm beginning to realize something: I'm not going to make it. I almost applied to a beetle-trapping job last week, but my conscience dissuaded me from what would have amounted to some form of genocide. I would gladly mow golf greens if I could avoid the glare of my fellow Georgetown grads through the windows of the players' club. Alas, this bodes to be the summer of my discontent, unless I can find some way to bring down the sky.

My latest pop culture obsession is (as spoilerz revealed) the sky. I cannot get enough of it, closing the shades and dimming the lights so that I can gaze in amazement at its artistic interpretations. Mass Effect for the XBox 360 began this deep re-revelation that "sky=pretty" by sending me to a bunch of planets to perform relatively banal tasks against truly beautiful backdrops ("banal" relative to having sex with aliens FTW!). I don't care that all my lunar roving accomplishes is the retrieval of some crap sniper rifle I can sell to augment my account of 9999999999 arbitrary currency units. I'll roll around in my hard-to-control vehicle for days, doing nothing, so long as I get to stare off into the moonset. There are 3 moons, by the way.


Video game enthusiasts have always heralded the evolution of water physics, but I contest that nothing's better than a good sky. If Super Mario 64 taught us anything, it's that staring up, straight into the sun, is rewarding. I've spent many a day on my front lawn hoping that a casual upwards glance will result in my transportation to a cloudy arena where I must rely on the flying skills of my wing hat to collect 8 red coins. My dream has not yet come true, but I have achieved a truly remarkable contact prescription that's nearabouts the negative value of my Mass Effect money. Maybe they'll make a movie about my bad eyes one day, starring Jamie Foxx. They'll call it: Stealth 2.


And because I know how few people care about my longform anime reviews, I'll incorporate Scrapped Princess into this entry as well. The best dramatic anime I've seen - a 24 episode story that really develops more like a novel than a television show - is all about the epic, big blue landscapes. I've thought about it, and I don't really want to justify that novel statement I just made; I'm keeping it in, though, because it will maybe inspire one person to think about watching the show, if only afterwards to accuse me of liking it because it features a 15-year old girl. She's cute, yeah, but it's not all about the looks. I'm simply attracted to princesses who are exiled (ostensibly sentenced to death) because of an omen propheting the end of the world if they reach their next birthday.


That'd make a cool episode of My Super Sweet 16, where all the punk boys crash the party, only to find themselves sucked into the nothingness of the end. Right? (Fade out to the new AFI single.)

I wish I would pay more attention to the sky in the real world, and I do try to, mostly when driving in areas I doubt kids like to play. Still, I never really appreciate it until I'm stuck in a yellow room typing about the healthcare revenue cycle. Somebody, please give me my nightshift jobs back. I can do anime voiceovers just about as well as most English covers (that goes double for Scrapped Princess - subtitles are the only way to go). Here, check out my demo:

So, what did you think, cartoon executives? Call me at home, during evening hours. During the day I'll be inside, thinking about how much life sucked for people hundreds of years ago, and also how much they actually got to look up.

This entry was posted by DoktorPeace, on Tuesday, March 25, 2008. You can leave your response.