Battles of the Sexes: The Piano and The Pre-Party Song

This month I am continuing in what is starting to be a natural tradition for me - identifying and dissecting patterns in the world of Top 40 radio. And this time, I swear I will not mention the V-word (it rhymes with "snowcoder"). This means I will have to forgo any discussion about the Britney song that is plaguing Minnesota's home of the hits - KDWB. "Piece of Me" was fun in a "I feel sad inside" kind of way the first four or so times I heard it as I heard on my ride home from work while switching CDs, but each time after that it continued to burst through the stereo, I ended up practicing how fast I could get the next CD from my visor into the slot. Apart from this factoid, any other mention of the song just gives me the been-there-done-that willies. Of the four songs listed below, at least three of them have been easily digestible enough over the past month that I feel they merit some analysis. And conveniently enough, they help to posit a question of potential female domination on the pop charts as of late. Can the guys make a case against this new wave of XX bangers?

The Piano Song: Until recently, the Top 40 piano song has been relegated to the likes of Vanessa Carlton or The Fray. I can't tell if it's ironic or fitting that the most classically taught instrument has been abused throughout the years to create the most achingly dull and syrupy sweet pop songs of recent years. But then when I hear the #1 song on KDWB, "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles (luckily completely unrelated to The Cure song that was subsequently covered by 311), I am suddenly reminded of how much I'd rather hear either Carlton or The Fray's lovingly constructed bittersweet melodies of yore. You might recall her ditty, which is way louder than any boring piano-led song has the right to be, from the Rhapsody commercials, in which a scrappy young fellow enters his living room smiling and ready to face the day while this song is playing. Luckily, even the dude in the commercial is smart enough to switch this song off and turn on some Cool Kids. Probably the oddest (read: most annoying) thing about this song - you can't get it out of your head, and yet, it's not catchy at all. I have no idea how this is possible, but it is.

So as you may have been able to figure out, the girls lose out on this bomb. But not entirely. You see, OneRepublic are a bunch of androgynous-sounding fellows that just may be mistaken for women by any given listener of their breakout hit "Apologize," so this only gives the guys a slight lead. Not only did I question the masculinity of the singer when I first heard it in the background of numerous ads for Atonement, I also questioned exactly what genre the song would fall under. Upon first listen, I thought for sure I was listening to some kind of gentrified R&B song, which caught me off-guard, because hello, this is a commercial for an epic romance/war movie starring pale British people. And yet on went the pulsating rhythms and soothing vocals with searing and longing chorus repetitions. Oh but the piano - this is where the song excels most (in all its sick and bloating glory) and breathes new life in the piano pop song. Twinkling, totally prissy, and emotive as eff. Winners of the round? Dudes, kinda.

The Pre-Party Song: You know, this is the song that gets you in the mood for a night of boozing debauchery and/or popcorn-making in your pajamas. Let's begin with the more interesting of the two: "Love in the Club" by Usher featuring Young Jeezy marks the only return that I can recall since the baseball park-sized smash "Yeah" from my college years. It's at least the only other catchy song the (former?) sex symbol has put out since then. And you can actually groove to it pretty easily, even when the abrasive Jeezy steals the mic, regardless of its stark contrast to both Usher's seductive croon and the subtly hypnotic sequencer bed that underlies the entire song. However, if you listen to the lyrics, you will be invariably creeped out for the rest of the summer as the song just inevitably grows in popularity (hopefully its steam will run out by then!). I actually didn't notice he was literally suggesting that sweet sweet conjugations be made in an actual club, where other people are already inappropriately undressing people with their imaginations. Apparently we've also gotten to the point where you don't need to be in Studio 54 and high out of your mind to express your desire to publicly display your ability to tap it - all you need is a recording contract and a label exec with no idea what age demographic listens to Top 40 (or one with no shame whatsoever). I may sound like a old codger ("This music you kids listen to is degrading and disgusting! [swings cane manicly]), but I don't care. This just makes me...unsettled.

Luckily, the most controversial thing Hannah Montana does is not fasten her seat belt, so all you white kids preparing for a rambunctious sleepover featuring a JTT-marathon (girls still like JTT, right?) have my full permission to rock out to the new Miley Cyrus song, "See You Again." I may be spoiling things a little too early, but this song has all the fun factor of the Usher track without ever giving me the willies. Sure it's like a C-list version of a Hilary Duff song (which is saying something, seeing as how Duff songs are just B-list versions of Avril songs, and I haven't even mentioned an artist who I actually respect yet), but I can let that go. It's spunky without being exasperating, innocuous without putting me to sleep, and memorable without clawing at my brain with a rusty, sugary spatula. Plus when listened to after over-analyzing a series of pop songs, you could make the argument that she (Miley) is slyly saying goodbye to her persona of Hannah Montana - as if she's sick of the game her dad has put her in, which is meta-cute, in a passing fancy kind of way. So the girls win out this time, but only marginally. We will be sure to check in as the weeks go by and at a sloth-like rate, newer songs by a more varied array of artists hit the airwaves of our local MN Top 40 station.

This entry was posted by chris, on Thursday, March 13, 2008. You can leave your response.