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Stephen King's Sierra Mist

Not much time today, sorry folks, but luckily reviewing Stephen King's The Mist shouldn't take too long. I'm here to ask the question, what should have been in the mist? I wasn't really satisfied with mysterious prickly tentacles, slimy pterodactyls, a living version of the legs of those giant four-legged snow robots from The Empire Strikes Back, and those giant bugs from King Kong. Oh, sorry for giving the movie away. They're also from another dimension. Woops again. Then there's the intro to the film where everyone notices the military has mysteriously infiltrated the small oceanside town, but no one thinks to ask the soldiers that get stuck with them amongst the mist in the grocery store about what's going on until it's too late. I'm actually not sorry about giving that one away.

Once again, if we're going to have a movie where we slowly find out about mysterious things in a mist, let's at least not just come up with the most banal Creepy Crawlers-esque creatures we can think of. Let's put something cool in the mist - in every sense of the word. Here are my initial suggestions:

-As this post's title suggests, DELICIOUS LEMON-LIME SODAS for everyone would have been more refreshing, especially if a marketing tie-in offered a free Sierra Mist upon entering the theater

-Clones of Thomas Jane from other forgettable adventure movies like The Punisher, Dreamcatcher, and Deep Blue Sea

-Other memorable Stephen King characters like Jack Torrence, Carrie, and umm...that's about all the interesting ones, right? It'd be kind of like the meta-short story I won an award for in the 3rd grade "When All the Cartoons Meet." Launchpad totally crashlanded into Beetlejuice's backyard.

Give us your suggestions!

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  1. Blogger Nicole | 10:37 AM |  

    In my "if all the cartoons meet" fantasy, I'm Smurfette, but my job is Jem's (rockstar by night), and I would hook up with the mysterious painter gummy bear who lives under the waterfall. And we would live amongst the carebears.

    But, about the mist: it could be when glade misting air-fresheners go evil and keep puffing all the time! That would be scary (but smell so nice)!

  2. Blogger Dave | 10:40 AM |  

    Wow, is that really what was in the mist? I just assumed it was something simple and profound, like nothing or whatever. That's really weird, that it's just full of monsters.

    Also, great job in 3rd grade.

    Also, you guys still need to move the bylines to the top of the posts. I can do it for you if you don't want to do the coding. It's easy peasy.

  3. Blogger Dave | 10:40 AM |  

    P.S. If you just don't want to do it, then I guess that's fine too. I guess.

  4. Blogger chris | 12:35 PM |  

    dave, e-mail me how to do it please! thanks!

    also, nicole, i concede my victory to you. you should indeed have won the "most creative story" award. wow.

    that is almost a more interesting (nay, definitely more interesting) question to pose rather than what's in the mist - what's the coolest "all the cartoons meet" scenario you can think of?

  5. Blogger DoktorPeace | 3:10 PM |  

    I can't believe Dave didn't tell you that those machines from The Empire Strikes Back are called AT-ATs. I totally win.

    The best cartoon combo?
    Judy Jetson.
    Me in cartoon form.
    Some animated food for when we get hungry.

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