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Goodbye, Cruel World.

Qualler here, posting for Mrs. Qualler for a while. She was planning on blogging, but right now, she's curled up in a corner, using torn pictures of Vogue magazine as a pacifier, mumbling something about "Heather is America's Next Top Model, Heather Heather Beather Heather Tyra the TYRAANNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTT!" Now, as a man who doesn't understand gender-based things for things designed for the "better half", I can only assume she is talking about the recently completed trade between the Minnesota Twins and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in which the Twins swapped young stud pitcher Matt Garza for young stud outfielder Delmon Young (great move, Twinkies!) But that's for another day, and another blog -- Brigitte's girly show is making her cry. How typical.

Brigitte here...blogging in purple. My favorite color: purple. One of the few things left that gives me joy in this cruel, cruel world.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007, is a day which will surely go down in history. Heather was cut from America's Next Top Model. The autistic contestant is no longer in the running.

Now I hardly have a reason to watch the show. Sure, she can't handle simple human interactions. Sure, she got totally lost on her way to meet with potential clients, and so only met with one (the other girls met with at least four) and arrived back at the house 40 minutes late, disqualifying her from this week's challenge. And yes, mayb
e she deserved to be cut. But why, Tyra, why?!?! You could have cut the bitchy blonde one I charmingly refer to as Melrose 2 (a contestant from last season). No one even noticed her! Why did you cut my biggest reason for watching the show? Give her another chance!

I think my feelings would best be expressed by this poem I wrote and a photograph of wild heather. photographs...they say so little in times of sadness.

heather, heather, heather...weeds amongst rubbish. Stones.
clod, cold, polished, pretty stones. clod. hopper. clod-hopper.
heather grown in fields askew with mill weed. milkweed. harvest grains...co m po si tions.

COMPOSITIONS. "smile with your eyes..."
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
if these eyes could climb
incline, decline, deCLINE.
thank you, i shan't take anymore tea.

cold. whistling past icy inclines.


This is Brigitte, signing off.

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  1. Blogger qualler | 10:20 AM |  


    Although, being a woman, isn't that poem a little too deep for you? It must have been ghost-written by me.

  2. Blogger chris | 10:20 AM |  

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Blogger chris | 10:20 AM |  

    wow you're married so you have to literally blog together, in the same post? DEPENDENCE ISSUES!

  4. Blogger Nicole | 10:33 AM |  

    That post should have had a SPOILER ALERT! I was at someone's condo not having the pleasure of the reason they invited me there (liars), so I missed the episode. But since Heather's off, maybe there's no reason to watch.

  5. Blogger qualler | 10:49 AM |  

    We were waiting for Amy to come and finishing the charging of the battery! And then you left before the slide show was even done! And you left before the orgy!

  6. Blogger Brigitte | 11:31 AM |  

    seriously...can we stop all the hating on the blog posts? please? ANTM comes on at 7. People came over at 8. I watched the episode when it aired.

    And yes, Chris, we have dependency issues. That's what marriage is about. Get over it.

  7. Blogger Katherine | 11:33 AM |  

    YES!!!!!!!! Brigitte's Poetry is the reason my soul is alive and breathing.

    love you, b.

    however, no GG update? i was so anticipating a run down of the fantasticly awkward brooklyn-based thanksgiving!!!!

    were you too broken hearted? (sigh)

    alright well i still love you
    xo xo

  8. Blogger Brigitte | 11:44 AM |  

    i was, alas, too broken hearted. also, i was tired, haha.

    maybe next week i'll devote all my time to GG. It was a pretty good episode...though I totally thought that as what's his name was leading Serina into the bathtub during flashback thanksgiving they were going to have sex. they didn't.

    also, what a new twist! blair is bulimic! i never saw it coming.

    also, i love flashbacks.

  9. Blogger Katherine | 11:55 AM |  

    eating disorders, blech. SO overdone. I'm over this plot line ALREADY.

    what i'm not over? Chuck! Where the heck was he this episode?

  10. Blogger Brigitte | 12:08 PM |  

    i liked the use of eating disorders to finally get into blair's head a little bit...there hasn't been enough of that. but yes, it's a bit overdone.

    and yeah, where was chuck??

  11. Blogger Sean | 1:22 PM |  

    hey, blair's dad is gay? was that a new fact or was that known? i was surprised. it was also funny, too.

    also, eyebrows is the worst actor on the show.

    "no, dad, no, it has to stop. please."

  12. Blogger Nicole | 3:47 PM |  

    I wasn't hating on anything. I wish I had had time to watch it, when it was on or later.

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