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She's not there...

Hello all, Brigitte here, filling in for Lady Amy since she's not [t]here to do her blog...she's huddled in a corner writing a paper, drinking her rum and eggnog and crying. But she'll be filling in for me on Wednesday, reporting to you on ANTM and the new CW series Crowned! We'll miss you, Gossip Girl, but we'll also enjoy your reality series replacement, which promises just as much drama, if not as much style.

This weekend I saw the much anticipated (by me) film I'm Not There. Spoiler Alert! That is, if you can spoil a film that isn't exactly plot-driven, to say the least. I really enjoyed every minutes of the 135 minute film, which featured Cate Blanchett, Ben Whishaw, Christian Bale, Richard Gere, Marcus Carl Franklin, and Heath Ledger as "Bob Dylan," though the name Bob Dylan was never actually mentioned in the movie. The ensemble cast and the incredibly shot film complemented Dylan's music. I had to wonder, would I enjoy this movie if I didn't like Bob Dylan?

I think I would. And not just cause I'm artsy. I really think that, as far as original films go, this one tops the charts for the last few years. It also balanced being non-linear and "non-traditional" but also enjoyable. I give it my highest rating:PUPPY PLAYTIME!
That's right, I'm giving this film the much coveted Puppy Playtime rating. My rating scale from highest to lowest, after Puppy Playtime, is as follows:

Cast of Frasier
Content Kitty

Bored Tiger
Sad Duck

Nobody wants a sad duck!!!

Something that falls into the Cast of Frasier category:
The HBO series Extras. According to the HBO series Extras, every single British film made is a period piece. However, I have to say, it's pretty funny, and, uh, yeah, I feel like watching it! Sure!

Something falling into the Content Kitty category:
Reality television drama Intervention. While terribly depressing, this series which chronicles addicts and their family's friends' and personal struggles keeps drawing me back in. And of course, if someone manages to stay clean, I feel a little bit happier inside.

Something I would consider a Bored Tiger:
House. Enough said. But if there's nothing else on...I guess I kinda want to see why that little boy's infection won't heal blah blah something something...If only Dr. House could find the cure for his own pain!

And finally, my personal example of the Sad Duck category:
That time Chris made me rent Blood Diamond and fell asleep on the couch. I, being unable to sleep through movies and feeling compelled to see it through to the end, watched the better part of the film by myself which Chris slept soundly. The film haunts me still. I suppose, in this case, the experience itself receives a Sad Duck rating, not just the movie, though I'm not really sure which situation would have improved the film experience for me...

That's all for tonight folks!

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  1. Blogger DoktorPeace | 3:33 AM |  

    I really like House. I mean like like. Sure it's formulaic, but it's got some of the snappiest dialogue on TV, and a few times a year it does some incredible philosophical stuff. House ponders his own cure as much as he can, for someone too arrogant to do so.
    Hugh Laurie himself said something to the effect of: Whereas movies are all about characters changing, television tells the journey of static characters. I think the journey of House, for what it is, is a fun one.

    I also kind of enjoyed Blood Diamond, watching it over a few nights. Jennifer Connelly is beeeeeetiful. Buzz buzz!

  2. Blogger P. Arty | 9:36 AM |  

    Nobody wants a sad duck???

  3. Blogger chris | 10:23 AM |  

    so many things to say:

    1) p. arty wants daisy duck, whether she's sad or not.

    2) blood diamond? how was i the only one who didn't fall asleep? though i never got sick of leo going "eh!" like he's south african.

    3) i did not MAKE you rent blood diamond. for some ridiculous reason, it was the only thing we could agree on! what was the other movie we rented? was there one?

    4) pet peeve #12: when people say "complimented" when they mean "complemented"!

  4. Blogger Dave | 11:01 AM |  

    Wait, so Polley DIDN'T fall asleep?

    And somebody DOES want a sad duck?

    When did this blog become nothing but an endless parade of lies?

  5. Blogger Nicole | 11:02 AM |  

    My pop culture rating system during the holiday season (and most of the time) is based on my favorite drinks, for good reasons:

    Outstanding: Peach Schnapps & Redbull
    (Survey: Should I name it a "Sex on the peach" or a "Peachy Keen"?)

    Anyway, that drink is my favorite, as most of you are aware:) It's syrupy sweet (like good movies, music, art) but also basically a depressant, which is also a nuance I expect in my media. But then- omg! The redbull is a stimulant, a jolt of pure caffeinated happiness! That is also something I want, expect, love in my pop culture. "Chicago" by Sufjan Stevens is a song that proudly received this rating! Yay asthmatic kitty!

    Pretty good: White wine, especially Chilean. It's nuanced, slightly sweet, with a slightly dry aftertaste (like a fine British period film), but you can sense it's well-traveled.

    Okay: Rum and Coke. It's somewhat satisfying, and, let's face it, gets the job done, but overconsumption leads to hatred and remorse (like too many viewings of anything Drew Barrymore's been in).

    Yuck: Guinness. There's no subtlety, no nuance, and it's basically dirt in a glass. Like most movies with Ben Stiller.

    Gag me with a spoon: cheap vodka.
    I'd rather drink nail polish. Which is exactly how I feel when I'm forced to watch analysis of football. It's grown men playing an arbitrary game in which millions of dollars and people's health hang in the balance. There's really nothing more to say and opinions about it are like shot after shot that eventually leave me in a senseless stupor. And I might get sick.**

    (**Although, I respect other people's right to like it:).

  6. Blogger Brigitte | 11:20 AM |  

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Blogger Brigitte | 11:28 AM |  

    I think the other movie we agreed on was Bobby. and I think I cried. a lot. why would they shoot that nice young man? :(

  8. Blogger Brigitte | 11:44 AM |  

    and yes, polley did fall asleep. i don't know why i kept watching it. i also don't know how that ended up being the only movie we could agree on...but i definitely remember it being more your idea than mine...i wanted to rent that one with nick cage and the fire motorcycle or whatever it was...

  9. Blogger Brigitte | 11:52 AM |  

    wait...nicole doesn't like ben stiller? have you SEEN meet the faukers? the cat uses the toilet! classic.

  10. Blogger Dan | 11:59 AM |  

    i thoroughly enjoy your rating system (mad props for thinking or finding "puppy playtime" as the top movie category). one example of stellar show that should receive that review is "Puppy Bowl". is anyone else excited to watch this animal planet invention around the time of the NFL's super bowl? there's nothing like watching those rambunctious pups run around on a real astro turf field, fitted with a water bowl cam, numerous toys AND two field goal posts. what are they supposed to do? lift their legs and get bonus points for shooting successfully? i'm in favor of the show actually giving the puppies scores. it could be something like back in the day for WWF wrestling, every puppy for himself. last one on the field is the puppy bowl champion! b and m, you up for putting beckett in "puppy bowl"?

  11. Blogger chris | 1:19 PM |  

    oh yeah, bobby! that WAS sad! and not that terrible surprisingly...and you're right, we probably should have gotten ghost rider instead of blood diamond...at least that had fire. blood diamond didn't even have that much blood! just a lot of running and crying.

  12. Blogger Sean | 6:44 PM |  

    blood diamond was a solid film. for evidence, consult the film, blood diamond.

    as for ranking systems, i apply the tried and true deece scale

    deece plus
    deece minus

    ex: the film 'before the devil knows you're dead' is trash. also lumet has some deece stuff in his catalog, see: serpico, this film falls terribly short of being worthy of anything. total trash.

  13. Anonymous LQ | 9:40 PM |  

    What's with all of these comments being deleted by the authors?

  14. Blogger THOMAS GRASTY | 12:41 AM |  

    I love your ratings system...very clever.

    Amazingly, I have yet to see the film. But I'm going tomorrow.

    So while I check out "I'm Not There," why don't you check out my new novel, BLOOD ON THE TRACKS.

    It's a murder-mystery. But not just any rock superstar is knocking on heaven's door. The murdered rock legend is none other than Bob Dorian, an enigmatic, obtuse, inscrutable, well, you get the picture...

    Suspects? Tons of them. The only problem is they're all characters in Bob's songs.

    You can get a copy on Amazon.com or go "behind the tracks" at www.bloodonthetracksnovel.com to learn more about the book.

    And while I hope you check out the book, should you review it I definately hope I don't get a sad duck.

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