We all have fears to face from our childhood (right? Just me?). My personal fear, that which has haunted my nightmares for over 20 years now, was Child's Play.
I love scary movies. I love Halloween. But for whatever reason, this 1988 horror release was something I could never bring myself to watch. Just the image of Chucky and his horrible sneer sends shivers up my spine. I remember when it came out and my dad made me watch a behind the scenes making of the movie in order to see how Chucky was actually just a robot. His hope was to make me see that it was just a movie, and Chucky isn't real at all, but of course...all I saw was a horrifying robot and some clips from the film. Poor Teddy Ruxpin was banished to my parents' closet, never to be played with again.Qualler has been urging me to confront my fear and watch Child's Play to see that it certainly isn't as scary as the previews and robots made it seem. This weekend I finally took the plunge, and I just have to say....IT'S TOTALLY AS SCARY AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!!!
The concept of Child's Play draws on a couple of our deepest rooted fears: 1. I'll know that there's something evil in our midst and no one will believe me, 2. One of my toys will come alive and try to kill me, 3. The antagonist/evil being is impossible to kill and no matter how you try to fight back you cannot beat it.
Child's Play begins with a shoot off between your typical bad guy (I believe he's a strangler of some sort) and the cop who has finally got him trapped (in a toy store). Rather than die, the bad guy calls on some demon force and somehow places his soul inside a Good Guy doll (irony!). Of course this Good Guy doll is purchased in a back alley from a homeless peddler by Catherine Hicks (7th Heaven! Woot!) and we watch as the nightmare unfolds.
I'm not going to give you much more in the way of plot, except to say that this movie is totally creepy and scarier than it probably should be. In the end, the mom (who of course knows that her child isn't crazy and that the doll really is the one doing all the bad things) the cop (who eventually comes to realize that, indeed, the doll is alive and evil) and the little boy team up to defeat (or do they????) Chucky. But the existence of the sequels suggest that this little doll's reign of terror isn't over yet!
I won't be watching any more of these movies, but I suppose I'm glad I faced my childhood fear. If nothing else, it affirmed that I was totally right to be suspicious of all my toys because any one of them could actually just be housing a killer's being. Which raises other questions, such as: how do I know my dog isn't actually a killer in disguise, too? Maybe I won't be facing any more fears this October.
In honor of this, my most beloved months, I'm trying to watch lots of scaaaary mooovies! The first on my list: Orphan.
**********WARNING!! TONS OF MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!***********
I have to start by saying that about thirty minutes into this movie I realized that I had confused this 2009 release with the 2007 horror flick, The Orphanage. So...I was expecting ghosts. I was a bit disappointed that there are no ghosts in this movie, just a creepy little girl who is not as angelic as she first seems (actually, she doesn't seem angelic at first, either. she seems creepy.)
The movie begins with a horrifying scene of a woman (Vera Farmiga) going into a bloody labor and losing her baby. Of course it was just a dream, though when she wakes up next to her husband (the ever creepy Peter Sarsgaard) we quickly realize that it's a dream based on a past memory. The woman has two other children but wants to adopt a third, though she has a history of alcoholism and depression after losing her third child. Of course she and Peter choose the creepiest child at the orphanage, Ester, who only gets creepier as the movie goes on. Peter doesn't seem to notice how creepy this little girl is, and the movie quickly becomes a Lifetime: Television for Women film in which only the mom knows what's happening and no one will believe her, everyone thinks she's crazy, until it's almost too late...
Here's the crazy twist: the little girl they adopted was no little girl! She was a 30-something-year-old woman who was previously a mental patient and who falls in love with Peter and ends up killing him and almost killing everyone else. Weird, right? She has some convenient form of dwarfism that makes her look like a little girl. But she's not! She's a grown up killer!
I think the movie was much more interesting when she was a little girl who kills people and acts all creepy. The fact that they had to make her an adult who only looks like a little girl is telling of how much creepiness our culture is comfortable with. I think that the idea of a little girl who goes around killing people is too much for most audiences to deal with. Which is too bad, because I like the idea of a creepy child better than a creepy adult who only looks like a child. I also disliked the whole "she's a mental patient!" twist. Is it enough to just say that the reason she's killing people is that she's crazy? Why is she so violent? Why is she crazy? I think this character could have had a lot of depth but none of these issues was really explored. She's crazy: case closed!
I'm really curious about the idea of the child as killer, and why this is so unsettling for us as an audience. I thought about the original Halloween and the opening scene with Michael as a small child. Something about the child as villain is so bone-chilling and shivers-up-our-spines-inducing. Why did this movie have to shy away from that? We find out that Ester is really an adult towards the end of the film, right after she tries to seduce Peter Sarsgaard. This, I think, is very telling. Maybe the child as killer is OK, but the child as sexual being? That goes too far.
Overall I would not recommend this movie (in case I didn't already make that clear). I would still like to see The Orphanage, though.
Hey readers! As most of you know, the second season of MTV's reality drama Teen Mom began a few weeks ago, and already it's almost too sad to watch. Episode three aired last night, and this season is decidedly more depressing than last season, and much more depressing than most episodes of 16 and Pregnant. (Watch the latest episode in full from MTV.com here.)
Each mom's story makes me feel some sort of Sad. But, I continue to watch, because at this point, I care about their stories. Being the wordsmith that I am, I'll try to elaborate on my feelings.
Maci Maci's story makes me feel the least sad. Yes, Ryan is a total tool, but she finally spoke with a lawyer and is finally forcing him to pay child support. She also has a family that supports her (even if they sometimes nag more than she'd like) and she is back in school. She is also the only mom who seems to have a lot of supportive friends who still want to hang out with her and her son, and who are always there for her to talk to when she needs someone to listen. However, it's still obvious how difficult her life is and I wish that Ryan would stop being such a tool and just treat her nicely. Overall, Maci makes me feel: Glum.
Catelynn Catelynn and Tyler's story was the one that had Qualler and I (yes, he watches it all with me) sobbing when we watched them on 16 and Pregnant. But now...m'eh. I'm a little bored (yes, I know, I'm a horrible person. Just a product of my generation, folks.) I'm happy that she and Tyler are still together and supporting each other, and I'm glad that her mom has come around and is giving her some support. However, each episode shows how much they are still hurting, and every time she talks about how much she misses her baby (she chose adoption) I start to cry a little bit. But her life is going to be OK, I think...so even though there are moments of intense sadness, Catelynn makes me feel: Blue.
Farrah Farrah's story started out as by far the most depressing of the season--her mom was arrested for battery after having punched Farrah in the face. Farrah's mom is terrible. I'm sure things are edited to make her look like even more of a villain, but...still. She seems pretty awful. However, she did manage to move out of her parents' house, and it seems as if she's starting to stand on her own and bond with Sophia. In this week's episode she even went to see a counselor, which makes me really happy, and it seemed as if she has at least a few friends who stuck around(*). Despite some of these positive changes in her life, though, her parents are still there making things difficult for her. While it doesn't depress me entirely, Farrah's plot line makes me feel: Despairing.
(*)Editor's note: We also learned for the first time that Sophia's daddy died! And, in therapy, Farrah, who has often seemed to be the most emotionally distant of the four moms, started crying while trying to describe matter-of-factly how she wished her parents had shown a little support around the time of his death. The fact that she is starting to make her connections with her emotions makes me feel: Relieved but the process of watching it happen makes me feel like it is also happening to me and makes me feel: Distraught!
Amber Farrah's parents are horrible, but it seems like Amber's family has completely abandoned her. Yes, again, I know the way this show is edited might have something to do with that. Gary is pretty terrible, and Amber seems pretty depressed and somewhat unstable. Each time I watch this show I think, "Where are her friends or family?!? Doesn't she have anyone to help her out besides Gary?!?" She seems completely lost and I don't think she'll ever get out of her relationship, and I really worry about what kind of future she's going to have. She is also the only teen mom (who is raising a baby) who never finished high school. Amber's situation makes me feel: Intensely Depressed.
During episodes of Teen Mom, Bristol Palin has appeared in public service type promos such as the one below. Not sure how this makes me feel...
Thoughts? How does this make you feel? Birth control, anyone?
Summertime is a truly wonderful time, isn't it? I know I've written on this topic before, but I cannot stress enough how much I enjoy even just the idea of the summer series. Our regularly scheduled programming, like school and the rest of our real life, is on hold for the three months when we're more likely to spend time outdoors than hovered around the glow of the television set. It's too nice to sit inside and watch TV, right? Wrong! Says the summer series. It's never too nice outside to waste a couple of hours in front of the TV. However, it might be too nice outside for anything very heavy. Popcorn flicks are not just for the theater blockbusters--they're also for ABC Family.
For a network that specializes in "light," the summer series should its time to shine. And in some cases, the network has delivered. However, I've also come up pretty disappointed (see SLAT). Now that the summer is already half over and most of these shows have had their chance to impress me, here's a little run-down.
Huge Only two episodes in, and I'm hooked. No, it is not MSCL--I don't think anything ever will be. It still, at times, has that ABC Family "feel" that I don't really enjoy. Overall, though, I think it's pretty honest and that the characters and dialog feel fresh and more age appropriate than other ABC Family shows.
There was one scene in particular in this week's episode that stood out to me. Will (our hero) writes a letter home to her parents, which we hear through a voice over that could have been delivered by Claire Danes herself, and through this letter we get the first real glimpse into her character. Something about that scene really struck me as having the same kind of awkward teenage insight that seems both stupid and brilliant at the same time quality that made My So-Called Life so great. There was also a scene in which we find out that the really awkward boy and the snotty girl are brother and sister (maybe twins?) when they meet in the woods and the girl gives her brother his part of the care package sent by their mother. That scene made me so angry and sad and sympathetic at the same time, because I remember what it's like to be a young teenager and so embarrassed by someone else that you just cannot stand to be around him, but at the same time I'm watching this show as a 27-year-old woman and want to scream "don't be such a jerk, he's your brother and he just wants to hang out with you!" In these little scenes, tucked into some of the silliness that is more typical of most teenage dramedies, make me think that as this series continues and finds its voice it could really end up as something that stands out.
One thing that I really disliked in both the first and second episode was the introduction of a side character who has a serious problem, then as soon as that problem is revealed, the character is gone. In the first episode we find out that one of the girls has been forcing herself to throw up, which briefly touches on the serious side of body image and teenagers, but she's sent home and her character sort of goes away. In this week's episode, a new girl is introduced, but at the end of the episode she has some sort of nervous breakdown and is sent home, and that's the end of that. I suppose, though, that's more realistic...as kids at camp, if another kid has a problem, that kid is more likely shipped away and forgotten than used as a reason to discuss eating or anxiety disorders. As teenagers we really only get a glimpse of other people's problems before we're absorbed once again in our own little worlds. I wonder whether there will be a new character introduced each episode, which could be either annoying or really interesting, depending on how that rotating character is used to reveal things to us about the main characters. I can't wait for episode three!
I encourage you to watch this week's episode, if you haven't already, here.
Pretty Little Liars Getting better! Last week's episode started to get scary, not just boring, and I was really looking forward to this week's episode. However, as I settled myself in to watch it, my DVR had other plans...it had already been erased. :( Hopefully we'll get some more comments from an anonymous 20something male who did watch it this week.
Because PLL had been deleted, I decided instead to watch the documentary that aired July 5 as part of HBO's Summer documentary series, called No One Dies in Lily Dale. This hour and a half documentary tells he story of a town in New York, Lily Dale, which boasts the largest concentration of mediums in America. I have to imagine that it was more interesting than this week's episode of PLL probably was...and then I started to wonder what a medium could do for the plot of PLL. Crossover?? A medium could totally solve the mystery of Alison's death, and would probably expose the evil doer who has been spilling all the girls' secrets and threatening them through texts and lipstick on mirrors. If only I was the showrunner. Dear ABC Family...
Make it or Break it I haven't been keeping up with the new season, but the snippets I've seen here and there look...not so bad. The inherent problem with shows like this one is that it centers around a very specific event: will this group of girls make it on the National Gymnastic Team and represent the USA in the Olympics? I don't think that shows that are so plot driven can really last because eventually, the plot runs out, and then what? There is some character development, but honestly, I don't care about the characters, I care more about whether they'll succeed as gymnasts. But if nothing else is on, I'll still watch it.
Secret Life of the American Teenager I cannot stress enough how terrible this show is. And now Bristol Palin is the guest star? Really? Really?
I feel that I get all the SLAT I need these days through previews, glimpses of the last minute or so as I'm waiting for Huge to start, and youtube videos. Now, if that short clip doesn't prove that Bristol has a bright acting career ahead of her, I don't know what will! She's a teen mom, you guys! She didn't sell that line to me at all...I didn't believe it even though I know she actually is a teen mom. Poor Bristol. Though, she does make the other kids look like better actors than they usually do by comparison, so that's something. Way to go, Bristol! Everyone's a winner.
Of course there are other summer series that go beyond just easy entertainment: True Blood (though some might argue that with me), Huge (again...not exactly high art but definitely "better" than ABC Family), Futurama, and of course the summer series which breaks all molds, Mad Men. And if all else fails, there are always Lifetime movies...I look forward to watching The Client List in just a couple weeks!
...or as Chris has re-dubbed this program, Skinny Little Bitches.
I really, REALLY want this show to be enjoyable. Alas...it is not. I know, I know. I should just stop watching it. I can hear you screaming at me through the computer, faithful readers. "There are plenty of GOOD programs you can watch instead! You could go out for a walk, or take up knitting! Volunteer! Start smoking! Just STOP WASTING MORE HOURS OF YOUR LIFE ON THIS GARBAGE!!!"
Silly readers. If I didn't watch it each week and report back to you, then who would? And before you answer with "plenty of other TV bloggers," be quiet and listen to my recap.
In last week's episode we learned that the blind girl, Jenna, is the one sending the texts. Or so we believe! We also learned that Jenna knew many of Alison's secrets, and that Jenna was blinded by Alison and the girls, accidentally, when the girls threw a stink bomb into a garage, trying to get back at a boy who was spying on them, but of course Alison was in there instead and for some reason stink bombs make you go blind. And that takes care of that mystery!
In this week's episode...very little happened. But somehow the show tricks you into thinking that stuff is happening. It's kind of like The Hills in that sense. We did learn that the cop is dating Hannah's mom because he wants to stay close to the girls because he is investigating Alison's death. I think that's pretty standard police work. He keeps harassing Hannah, picking at her insecurities by bringing up how she used to be fat, which again, I'm pretty sure is just your standard investigation procedure.
Now, I have a confession to make. I had planned to watch the entire episode of PLL, but when I carried my laptop into the bedroom on a commercial break, I saw that the episode of Frasier when Frasier tries to direct a radio drama and he ends up driving everyone crazy and he has to play most of the parts himself was one, and well...I love that episode, and I wasn't really that in to PLL...so I abandoned it. But I plan to give it another show this weekend, maybe...if nothing else is on...and I'm not busy learning to knit or chain smoke.
ABC's other summer series, Huge, begins on Monday, so look forward to a full report next week. In fact, maybe it'll be so good (or so terrible) that it'll replace my PLL recaps. Huge is about a group of kids at a fat camp. I'm guessing it's called Huge because they're all fat, but who knows, maybe there will be a delightful double meaning in there somewhere! Of course the series stars Nikki Blonsky. Let's not even start the conversation about why she shouldn't be playing a teenager any longer, or why it's more than a little bit offensive that she's one of maybe two (though I'm drawing a blank on a second one) plus-sized actresses working these days, and of course because she is plus-sized she can only act in roles in which her character is constantly dealing with being a plus-sized woman...because...argggggg!
I'll continue this rant next week. Unless of course Huge turns out to be a refreshing, tender, good-humored look at the struggles and pressures facing today's youth without sensationalizing...what was I saying? Oh yeah, tune in next week when I talk about the fatties!
(Editor's note: Now that Dish Network has dropped ABC Family from its HD lineup, this editor is even less likely to check out the newest ABC Family programs with Brigitte than usual. For shame, Dish Network. For shame.)
If you haven't seen the movie Babies, be careful! This post is full of spoiler alerts.
***********FIRST SPOILER ALERT!!!!!***************** BABIES ARE ADORABLE!
Just kidding, you already knew that! And if you didn't already know that...well, this might not be the movie for you. This film was cinema verite at its finest, as only the French can produce, and featured, simply, babies, doing their baby things. They were born, learned to sit, stand, walk, and were generally adorable. The film had no narration, and very few shots of adults. It followed four babies in different parts of the world for the first year of their lives. Some might call it boring, but I call it fantastic.
The American parents were ridiculous in comparison with the other parents--the American baby had a million toys, took part in baby classes, seemed ridiculously coddled, of course the other babies (who only had rocks to play with and crawled around in the dirt) were equally healthy and happy. Something about the thesis "Americans are ridiculous" seemed very French to me, as well. Also, the American baby was the least adorable. (Sorry, American baby. You were pretty cute, but...not as cute as the others.)
I don't have much else to say about this film, except that if you are with a group of people that varies in age or taste, this is the least offensive movie you could possibly see. In the history of movies. I cannot think of a more unifying film. This just might be the movie to end all divisions, all conflicts, all human barriers--because it showed, so simply, with no dialogue or narration, no words at all, that we all start out as babies, we all act the same in the first year of our lives, and we are pretty much all the same. I liked it even better than March of the Penguins. And, I REALLY liked March of the Penguins.
Though we all begin the same, we quickly grow into catty, cliquey, shallow teenagers who live only to tear each other down. We start as adorable babies and grow into Pretty Little Liars who may or may not have murdered a friend who then comes back to haunt us by texting our secrets to everyone...
Tuesday night brought the premiere of ABC Family's new summer "guilty pleasure" (that's how it's advertised, so I guess they are going to bypass any halfhearted attempt to create a legitimate drama) Pretty Little Liars. The first episode was...confusing. I think that's because the first episode covered the plot of the entire first book in this series, and the result was too much information and plot crammed into an hour of television (minus the many commercial breaks--I felt like I was picking up the remote to fast forward just moments after I had set it down). In the first episode we discovered that a group of five 15-year-old friends had a slumber party in an old barn of some sort that ended in one of the girls (Alison, or "A") going missing. I was already confused by this first scene and am still not sure how she went missing or what happened to her (maybe this is going to be revealed as the show continues, but I had a feeling that I was just missing something...).
The show then flashed forward to a year later and we learned that the girls had fallen out with each other. We learned about their past through flashbacks involving Alison, who appeared to be the meanest of all the girls. So, maybe they killed her? I'm not sure. We do find out, by the end of the episode, that she is indeed dead, and is texting secrets from beyond the grave. So it's sort of like a macabre Gossip Girl, which I like...but something seems off to me so far. I'm hoping that as the season continues they slow down the plot and the show will find its grove. More than anything, the pacing felt off, since so much was brought up and then quickly resolved and we learned about each of the girls' secrets too quickly. I'll give it another chance next week, and I hope that it becomes a good enough summer series to occupy my Tuesday nights. Even if it doesn't improve much from the mediocre premier, I'd still give it a rating of CONTENT KITTEN, which is really all I'm looking for to accompany my glass of summer rose wine and square of dark chocolate hazelnut bar.
Hello out there! This week's episode of Gossip Girl left me, once again, feeling sorry for Rufus...right up until the end, when my alliance switch and I felt desperately sorry for Jenny! Poor Jenny! Can none of you see that she is crying out for help? No one who is happy wears eyeshadow like that. No one.
Srsly, though...I was so relieved when Nate, Blair, Chuck, Jenny, and Dan joined forces to take down Serena's dad and help Rufus win Lily back. I even enjoyed the little meta moment when Blair's new beau asked if they did things like this all the time, and they answered yes, but Dan usually isn't involved. I had myself a good little chuckle, and I felt like GG was finally getting back to its tongue-in-cheek moments that made it great(ish).
I was thrilled when everything went back to normal, except that once things did, everyone was back to hating on Jenny, who was actually making a lot of sense. She was right when she said that the trouble wasn't really Serena's dad--the trouble was that Lily was so easily fooled and convinced that Rufus had cheated! In shows such as GG, those that tend toward the melodramatic, love is often very easily torn apart by a little scheeming (see Othello, or "O," for more on this subject) and emotions run wild and jealousy is always brimming just underneath the surface, waiting for the faintest scratch to set it free. This sort of thing happens so often that we start to think this kind of crazy jealousy and lack of trust is a normal part of love. Jenny Humphry (unlikely voice of reason!) reminded us that it isn't! She reminded us that the real problem isn't with the outside forces scheeming against them, but with Rufus and Lily's relationship and lack of faith in each other. But did anyone listen to her?!?! No!!! Poor Jenny!
Some other things happened in this episode, too, such as:
Dan and Serena? :(
Nate and Jenny? :)
I don't want Dan and Serena back together, please. Although, maybe they deserve each other. Serena is on my list right now, and my list is not a place you want to be. Hey-oh! I do want to see Nate and Jenny together, though. Despite all her troubles, I'm very pro Jenny. I want Jenny to get through this angst-y phase so badly and I'm completely on her side regarding the whole Rufus/Lily thing, and I think that Nate is better suited for Jenny than he is for Serena. Nate and Serena were never right for each other. But I think that Nate could really bring out the best in Jenny, and Jenny could make Nate feel needed. A good match all around--I hope it happens (and yes, I'm aware these are just characters on a show and not real people...shut up and let me have my stories!).
As frustrated as I am with some of the characters right now, I am no longer completely bored by the plots, and I feel like GG is really turning the season around. I'm left actually wanting to know what will happen next, which is refreshing. In other news, the two hour season finale of America's Next Top Model happened this week! They went from four girls to one girl in two hours, and I was curious to see how this would work. Going into last night's episode, I really didn't know who would win. Each of the four remaining girls had something to prove, something to overcome, and I couldn't tell (for once) which girl the episode was honing in on.
The first challenge had the girls doing a runway challenge on an airplane, mid-flight. This is a useful challenge, because it's something that real models often have to do to further their careers in fashion. They had to use the aisle of the plane as a runway, and the Jays were looking for them to show their personality. I just kept thinking about how airsick I would be. I guess that would end my modeling career.
In the first photo shoot, the girls had to be "ugly pretty." Of course. Because no one wants "pretty pretty." That's not fashion. In the first elimination, two girls went home. Yikes! The models pointed out a lot that that's 50%! Two is half of four. So, if two girls are going home, half the girls are going home. Yikes, yikes, yikes!
Mr. Jay got to weigh in at the judging for once, and I was really happy about that. He's there with the girls on the photo shoots, and he really had a lot to say. He should really be running the show. The two finalists ended up being Krista (duh) and Raina (shock!). I could not believe that she made it this far.
Even more important than the season finale of ANTM, Tyra Banks is writing a series of fantasy novels about modeling! Hooray! The first one comes out in 2011...which seems like an eternity to wait. Look out, Lauren Conrad! There's a new writer in town!
Serena's dad is back, everyone! And he's a totally crazy doctor! He's treating Lily for cancer, which was the secret that she was hiding from Rufus and her family. But now that her secret is out, Serena and Eric's dad is here to stay. Rufus feels uncomfortable about this, and wishes Lily would find a new doctor...but of course everyone thinks Rufus is just being jealous. Meanwhile, Blair and Chuck are broken up but clearly they still love each other (Blair convinced Chuck to be with Lily and his family and Chuck got Blair into Columbia by secretly applying for her), Jenny is going after Nate but Nate will have none of it cause he loves Serena, Vanessa and Dan are boring, and Eric is still gay.
There, now you're all caught up on Gossip Girl.
This week's episode accomplished something monumental. This is the first time in the history of Gossip Girl that I feel sorry for Rufus. Not just feel sorry…I sympathize with him. I’m on his side! I agree that he really is a good guy finishing last and that people should wise up because those aren’t just jealous remarks this time, wonder of wonders, Rufus is right! Your dad doesn’t care about you, Serena! And you should know better. Lily, you should ESPECIALLY know better! But Rufus is the bad guy because he wants a second opinion? You should always get a second opinion…even when the first opinion came from a doctor who is not your lying ex-husband and father of your children who is so clearly just trying to get close to you OMG CAN YOU NOT SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING LILY OPEN YOUR FREAKING EYES!!! Also…Serena really does want her dad to fight for her mom? Really? I thought you liked Rufus, Serena.
It’s a pretty big deal for me to admit here, on this wildly popular pop-culture forum, that I am rooting for Rufus. You know how I feel about him and his stupid “poor me good guys never finish first” complex. I’ve always disliked him. He was boring at best. But during Monday night’s episode I found myself shouting at the television over my red velvet cupcake and Vogue magazine (when I indulge in a little GG, I really like to indulge), “what are you people thinking?? Listen to Rufus!!” It was a strange experience, and I commend the writers for getting me to feel this way. Never, once, in all its ten seasons, did I feel that way about 90210’s Brandon Walsh. Never.
Now, other than the Serena’s dad is back and evil plot, I’m still bored with Gossip Girl. I’m happy that Blair got into Columbia, but…we are really to just accept that Chuck applied for her? Can you apply to a school on behalf of someone else? I guess they were close enough that he probably knew her email account information and could request letters of recommendation on her behalf, but…still. Unlikely. And…since when did she want to go to Columbia? What about transferring to Yale, if she’s going to transfer? This plot twist seemed to come out of nowhere to me. I’m glad that Vanessa is going to Haiti, but I’m angered once again by the whole “should I take the amazing out of the country opportunity or should I stay with my boyfriend? I’m nervous that if I go we’ll break up because it’s for three whole months!” Come on people. That should be the easiest decision of your life. If the question was something like “should I move to Haiti forever or should I stay here with my boyfriend, family, and friends” then that might be more of a thinker. But…if it’s for less than a year? Less than six months even? Please. I’m still mad at Joey for staying in Capeside to be with Dawson instead of going to France for a semester. It’s just one semester! And you ended up with Pacey, anyway. Fools! All fools. Oh, I’m also totally bored by the Jenny/Nate/Serena love triangle thing. And, is it just me, or has Serena gotten a lot bitchier lately? And Jenny needs to seriously dump the Goth look. Nate…go back to Blair. I’d rather see a Nate/Blair/Chuck triangle any day.
Now, let’s get down to what’s even more important. There is no way that William Baldwin could father Blake Lively. Just. Not. Possible. Have you seen Blake Lively? She’s hot! William Baldwin is not even hot according to Baldwin standards. Sorry, Bill. Sure, one could argue that Serena just happens to look like her mom…the way those puppies on Lady and the Tramp looked completely like Lady if they were girls and completely like the Tramp if they were a boy. But that usually only happens in Disney cartoons.
Despite the other boring plots and the ridiculous twists and turns this season is taking, you're winning me back, writers, slowly but surely! I'll see you again next week.
***HEIDI MONTAG REVEALS HER NEW FACE, POST PLASTIC SURGERY!!!***
What's that? You've already seen it? Because you haven't been living in a cave for the past several months? Who's going to break it to the producers?
Well, Tuesday night The Hills and The City had their…season premieres? I still don’t understand the way that “seasons” work on MTV. Why split everything into a fall season and a spring season? Of course I eagerly tuned into both (but not before watching a couple DVR'd episodes of Breaking Bad. Seriously, if you haven't seen it...do it. But don't watch too much in one sitting, as Lady Amy warned).
The exciting (I use the term “exciting” loosely) thing for The City was of course the release of Whitney’s line and her debut show. We were all wondering: Could she pull it off?? ***SPOILER ALERT NUMBER TWO*** She sort of pulled it off. There were a couple kinks when the material she had chosen for the lace leggings wasn't going to work, but she found some new material and the leggings turned out super cute. During the show something happened backstage and the models got all out of order, but...things were generally OK. The clothes were actually pretty cute, I thought. I look forward to this season and to Whitney's new career as a designer.
The big exciting event on The Hills was: Heidi Montag had tons of plastic surgery, you guys! You heard it here first! Well, actually, you probably heard it on TMZ (or on TMZ, as cited in The Soup) ages ago. Because it happened ages ago. And yet, that was the big reveal on The Hills. Shouldn't the characters... I mean... actors... I mean...real people whose lives we are obsessed with for no reason...have stricter contracts, MTV? You're being scooped, and the result is an episode of a show that was filmed in February and airs in late April and, guess what, everyone already knows what's going to happen.
Certain things don’t work in “reality TV” the way they do in scripted soap operas. These are REAL PEOPLE (scary but true!), not characters on a TV show whose lives and interactions with the outside world cease during the off season. We didn’t see Heidi’s face for awhile, and though we heard her speaking to Spencer, the camera skillfully only showed her from the neck down, or from behind. It really built up the excitement…except, you know, that we had already seen what she looks like, because, again, this happened IN THE REAL WORLD IN FEBRUARY.
What we didn't know yet was Heidi's family's response to her completely altered look. Her mom cried, her sister was befuddled, and her mom cried again. Then Heidi cried, and then I laughed, because I'm a sick person, and because it's funny to watch someone try to have a good cry when their jaw is still too locked shut from all the surgery and they are unable to express any emotion on their face. Her mother told her that before moving to LA (sure, blame it on the city, not on the network) Heidi was the most self-confident person she had ever met. Now she's running around having all sorts of plastic surgery, when really what she needs is a good therapist (we agree with you there, mom, but I would have recommended therapy somewhere around season two).
What could be going through Heidi’s head as she watches The Hills? Maybe something akin to “Ah, I see…my story line this season is that I’m totally crazy! Very good.” Poor Heidi. She didn't seem to listen to her family's concerns and after an emotional visit she returned home to Spencer and her crazy, crazy life.
I'm a little worried that kids today won't grow up understanding the real difference between these human reality stars and their beloved fictional characters of nighttime dramas. I sometimes forget that watching these shows is not the same as watching 90210. But then I notice that the story is more boring and the characters are less developed than they are on 90210 and I am reminded that this is REALITY. And then I start to feel bad because Heidi is not just some crazy super villain created by writers and producers but rather a real, sad, woman who is out there in the world, being all crazy and sad even when the cameras have stopped rolling. Frankly, this sort of ruins my buzz, because I don't want to feel depressed that these are all real people and that a generation of other real people are watching them and that this is what life is becoming. Real life shouldn't be a crazy soap opera, should it?
You know how people say "you can't make this stuff up!" Well, I've always hated that expression, because you can totally make this stuff up. Our imaginations can always make things up that are crazier than whatever crazy reality we live in (which reminds me, I need to get back to that Avatar fan fiction at some point...). In the end, I will always take my DVDs of TheO.C. and 90210 over The Hills and The City. And I can hear you all saying "OK, Brigitte...so why don't you stop watching these shows and start watching some good network scripted soap opera-esque dramas?" Well, I'll tell you why--because there hasn't been a 90210 or an O.C. since, well, since TheO.C. was on the air, and so I tune in from time to time and I let MTV fill that drama need. And of course I can't give up on Gossip Girl...I'm looking at you, writers! Give me some scripted version of The Hills so that I don't have to be part of the problem anymore!
Sadly, The Hills is in its final season (which I can’t believe because the story lines have in no way run their courses…oh wait). The new sensation set to replace The Hills? Why, the reality version of Sex and the City, of course! It's called Downtown Girls. And it doesn't look at all stupid!(*)
I've had a difficult time getting into the new season of 16 and Pregnant, and yesterday I think I may have figured out why that is.
I still enjoy watching the show, for the most part. I thought maybe I was just bored with the concept--if you've seen the story of one teenage pregnancy, you've seen them all. But that can't be true, can it? Of course I assume that MTV picks a certain type to appear on this show. There has to be some drama, after all. I wouldn't really want to watch a show about a girl who got pregnant, decided to have an abortion/give the baby up for adoption/keep the baby and everything turned out OK, no major drama. The people who typically are cast for any MTV show are pretty high-drama people. But when I was watching Tuesday night's episode, I finally realized--it's not that I'm tired of watching the same type of teenage girl over and over. I'm tired of watching teenage girls stuck in what I would consider abusive relationships.
I realized that most of the drama on 16 and Pregnant has little to do with the pregnancy or even the young women's decisions to keep these babies. Most of the drama is generated from the terrible, horrible relationships that these girls are in. And if one watches these kinds of relationships portrayed on "reality" television over and over again, they become the norm.
Of course the girls' parents are not happy with the jerk boyfriend/baby daddies either. But more concerning to me are the attitudes displayed by the girls' friends, and the attitudes of the girls themselves who can't seem to see that these guys really are jerks and that they deserve better, baby or no baby. It was heartbreaking to watch Nikkole deal with her jerk of a boyfriend who treated her like crap even through her entire labor, painful to watch as Valerie (only 15 years old and pregnant) received a message from her boyfriend saying he wanted nothing to do with her...and this week's episode was the worst yet. I wish the show would take more time to deal with, not only the fact that these girls are having babies, but that these kinds of relationships are not OK.
Another reason that these relationships have me upset: these girls are all way cuter than the guys they are with. Way cuter. So you're dating a douche bag and he's not even very good looking?? Dump that sh**! He knocked you up and he still won't commit or treat you with respect? Your boyfriend, the uggo, gets upset and calls you a whore when you go out with your friends? But you want to make things work because of the baby??? It is NOT better for a kid to have a douce bag father than no father. That is a myth. Your babies will be better off with one parent who is actually mature enough to love another human being.
In this week's episode, our teen mom did eventually cut the bad news baby daddy out of her life, and I was happy about that. I'm not giving up on this season yet, and hopefully in the coming weeks MTV will show a little variety or at least address the fact that these guys are total jerk faces. I'm also a little tired of the fact that every girl this season has been a "party girl." Don't non crazy party girls sometimes end up pregnant, too?
Whew, sorry for the rant, blogosphere! In happier news, the newest cycle of America's Next Top Model began this week! Hooray! This cycle's theme is social networking. Each girl had to create a "My Fierce Page" and hope to "Friend" Tyra. If the girls' friend requests were not accepted, they were eliminated. Perez Hilton gueststarred because he won a bet that he made six months ago on the Tyra Show. Tyra said that if he could go six months without blogging about celebrities' kids then he could appear on an episode of ANTM. None of the girls stand out so far, but I'm sure I'll come to love and hate them as the cycle continues.
We all have fears to face from our childhood (right? Just me?). My personal fear, that which has haunted my nightmares for over 20 years now, was Child's Play.
Qualler has been urging me to confront my fear and watch Child's Play to see that it certainly isn't as scary as the previews and robots made it seem. This weekend I finally took the plunge, and I just have to say....IT'S TOTALLY AS SCARY AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!!!
