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Kids Today: Back to Reality...

*********************SPOILER ALERT!!!**********************
***HEIDI MONTAG REVEALS HER NEW FACE, POST PLASTIC SURGERY!!!***
What's that? You've already seen it? Because you haven't been living in a cave for the past several months? Who's going to break it to the producers?

Well, Tuesday night The Hills and The City had their…season premieres? I still don’t understand the way that “seasons” work on MTV. Why split everything into a fall season and a spring season? Of course I eagerly tuned into both (but not before watching a couple DVR'd episodes of Breaking Bad. Seriously, if you haven't seen it...do it. But don't watch too much in one sitting, as Lady Amy warned).

The exciting (I use the term “exciting” loosely) thing for The City was of course the release of Whitney’s line and her debut show. We were all wondering: Could she pull it off?? ***SPOILER ALERT NUMBER TWO*** She sort of pulled it off. There were a couple kinks when the material she had chosen for the lace leggings wasn't going to work, but she found some new material and the leggings turned out super cute. During the show something happened backstage and the models got all out of order, but...things were generally OK. The clothes were actually pretty cute, I thought. I look forward to this season and to Whitney's new career as a designer.

The big exciting event on The Hills was: Heidi Montag had tons of plastic surgery, you guys! You heard it here first! Well, actually, you probably heard it on TMZ (or on TMZ, as cited in The Soup) ages ago. Because it happened ages ago. And yet, that was the big reveal on The Hills. Shouldn't the characters... I mean... actors... I mean...real people whose lives we are obsessed with for no reason...have stricter contracts, MTV? You're being scooped, and the result is an episode of a show that was filmed in February and airs in late April and, guess what, everyone already knows what's going to happen.

Certain things don’t work in “reality TV” the way they do in scripted soap operas. These are REAL PEOPLE (scary but true!), not characters on a TV show whose lives and interactions with the outside world cease during the off season. We didn’t see Heidi’s face for awhile, and though we heard her speaking to Spencer, the camera skillfully only showed her from the neck down, or from behind. It really built up the excitement…except, you know, that we had already seen what she looks like, because, again, this happened IN THE REAL WORLD IN FEBRUARY.

What we didn't know yet was Heidi's family's response to her completely altered look. Her mom cried, her sister was befuddled, and her mom cried again. Then Heidi cried, and then I laughed, because I'm a sick person, and because it's funny to watch someone try to have a good cry when their jaw is still too locked shut from all the surgery and they are unable to express any emotion on their face. Her mother told her that before moving to LA (sure, blame it on the city, not on the network) Heidi was the most self-confident person she had ever met. Now she's running around having all sorts of plastic surgery, when really what she needs is a good therapist (we agree with you there, mom, but I would have recommended therapy somewhere around season two).

What could be going through Heidi’s head as she watches The Hills? Maybe something akin to “Ah, I see…my story line this season is that I’m totally crazy! Very good.” Poor Heidi. She didn't seem to listen to her family's concerns and after an emotional visit she returned home to Spencer and her crazy, crazy life.
I'm a little worried that kids today won't grow up understanding the real difference between these human reality stars and their beloved fictional characters of nighttime dramas. I sometimes forget that watching these shows is not the same as watching 90210. But then I notice that the story is more boring and the characters are less developed than they are on 90210 and I am reminded that this is REALITY. And then I start to feel bad because Heidi is not just some crazy super villain created by writers and producers but rather a real, sad, woman who is out there in the world, being all crazy and sad even when the cameras have stopped rolling. Frankly, this sort of ruins my buzz, because I don't want to feel depressed that these are all real people and that a generation of other real people are watching them and that this is what life is becoming. Real life shouldn't be a crazy soap opera, should it?

You know how people say "you can't make this stuff up!" Well, I've always hated that expression, because you can totally make this stuff up. Our imaginations can always make things up that are crazier than whatever crazy reality we live in (which reminds me, I need to get back to that Avatar fan fiction at some point...). In the end, I will always take my DVDs of The O.C. and 90210 over The Hills and The City. And I can hear you all saying "OK, Brigitte...so why don't you stop watching these shows and start watching some good network scripted soap opera-esque dramas?" Well, I'll tell you why--because there hasn't been a 90210 or an O.C. since, well, since The O.C. was on the air, and so I tune in from time to time and I let MTV fill that drama need. And of course I can't give up on Gossip Girl...I'm looking at you, writers! Give me some scripted version of The Hills so that I don't have to be part of the problem anymore!

Sadly, The Hills is in its final season (which I can’t believe because the story lines have in no way run their courses…oh wait). The new sensation set to replace The Hills? Why, the reality version of Sex and the City, of course! It's called Downtown Girls. And it doesn't look at all stupid!(*)

(*)It looks super stupid.

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  1. Anonymous Anonymous | 7:19 AM |  

    Just a note: Are you aware that the icons on the top horizontal panel just below the title don't work? When I click on, for instance, camera or the books icons, the page seems to not exist or something is wrong.

  2. Blogger Lady Amy | 10:58 AM |  

    Is it just me or can anyone else NOT tell the difference in Heidi's faces? I mean, it looks like her hair is different and there are more shadows and a different angle on the right...is that the old one? SEE! I can't even tell and I'm the celebrity expert!

    What they should be concerned about/focused on is her gigantic new boobs -- the ones that she wanted to be even bigger but the plastic surgeon had to limit her on. And if your plastic surgeon -- who is willing to totally make his life's fortune off of your low self esteem -- is cutting you off after a certain size, you know you've got a problem.

  3. Blogger qualler | 11:13 AM |  

    OK, so Brigitte had a post here that I read and it was HILARIOUS, and then the internet ate it up. Sorry, y'all. :(

  4. Blogger Brigitte | 11:20 AM |  

    I don't know what Qualler is talking about..I still see the post!

    And I agree with you, Lady Amy--I can't tell the difference in the photos. The photo on the left is actually the before picture. However, in the episode, you can totally tell the difference...

  5. Blogger Brigitte | 11:22 AM |  

    Anonymous--I just clicked on the icons and I see what you mean, it takes you to some error page. Chris, Qualler, what's up with that? I thought those were just supposed to be photos, not actual links to anything...

  6. Blogger qualler | 11:36 AM |  

    THIS IS ALL THAT SHOWS UP ON MY COMPUTER, BOTH USING GOOGLE CHROME AND INTERNET EXPLORER AS MY BROSWER!

    "Sadly, The Hills is in its final season (which I can’t believe because the story lines have in no way run their courses…oh wait). The new sensation set to replace The Hills? Why, the reality version of Sex and the City, of course! It's called Downtown Girls. And it doesn't look at all stupid!(*)

    (*)It looks super stupid. "

  7. Blogger Dani | 1:45 PM |  

    Her looks may be the same, but I can tell a difference in her voice. It's more nasally (hence, the rhinoplasty).
    For the record, I know this because I watched a full episode for the first time last saturday (nothing else was on, okay?). But honestly, why don't they pull the plug on this show?

  8. Blogger chris | 6:26 PM |  

    Anonymous - thx for letting us know about this! We got it fixed. We recently migrated the blog per Blogger's request and the URLs musta changed. Also nice -- you'll only get the 5 most recent posts for each category instead of the page loading for a billion years.

    Still working on getting our old pics back. Those got lost in the migration.

    Coming soon! The features on the sidebar will all be link-able (again with only the 5 most recent results).

    NERDERY! HURRAH!

  9. Blogger emilyrivera | 9:54 AM |  

    great post...it was really funny.

  10. Blogger Papa Thor | 10:30 AM |  

    Hey Brigitte, if you want crazy drama with real people about stuff that really happened then maybe you should read the Bible.
    We also have a DVD with your grandma telling her life story.

  11. Blogger Candid Blogger | 4:33 PM |  

    Love your Blog! Come Check mine out and give me some input pretty please :)

    TheCandidblogger@blogspot.com

    Thanks!

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