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Today's Top 40 Spectrum: Super Mini-Quick Edition

With the advent of Blogulator Radio, we don't seem to have much time for big ol' hairy blog posts lately, but fret not, we'll eventually learn how to juggle both. For now, after an exhausting night of recording next week's netcast, I present you the month's Top 40 spectrum with super short blurbs rather than the usual yammering on about aurgasms and what have you. So here it be, Today's Top 40 Spectrum, from best to worst, for April 2011...

"Blow" by Ke$ha: Okay, so this may be her worst single yet, but it's definitely her best video. Black tie unicorn-head party? Absurdism check. James Van Der Beek making his meme faces? Hip internerd check. Ke$ha calling him "Van Der Douche" and then shooting rainbow lasers out of a Fifth Element-style gun? Edgy surrealist check. This chanteuse may be even smarter than we ever thought before. Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't really rate a song higher on the spectrum just when it has a ridiculously ridiculous video, but I can't help myself. Plus, spoiler alert - these things don't mean anything. At least that's what Ke$ha taught me with her dadaist(?) vid.

"Price Tag" by Jessie J feat. B.O.B.: I have no idea where this new popstress came from but I saw/heard her for the first time on SNL, which hasn't happened in approximately forever. She's decent, even has an interesting cadence to her voice, but is also kind of obnoxious for this very reason. Of course if anyone can make a kinda-catchy-kinda-terrible pop song endearing, it's a bland but charismatic rap verse from the "Airplanes" guy. Being the first new artist to appear on a 2011 spectrum, I predict that she will make a moderate splash with this debut record, but unless she amps up the sex and/or the scintillation factor, she'll quietly disappear from the radar.

"S&M" by Rihanna: Is it just me or is Rihanna officially making the same song over and over again now? I mean I've always been one her biggest skeptics, arguing she never sounds passionate about anything she sings, which is cool when you're electroclash and trying to be sardonic, but not when you're pop and singing supposedly genuinely about sex and revenge and the like. And once again, it's uncomfortable to the point of being one of those "you have to be logged in to view it" YouTube vids, includes a no-drums pre-chorus, and tries really hard to be a pounding club banger but never gets higher than a 4 out of 10 on the funkiness scale.

"For the First Time" by The Script: I really can't remember what the name or hook is of this lite-grunge band's hit from a year or two ago and I honestly don't care enough to back into the Top 40 Spectrum archives. You can if you like. But I do remember whatever that nebulous haze of a song was, it had a similar feel to this. Breezy, non-offensive, even some interesting production tricks (listen for the weird/neat "eeee-oooh" vocal echoes), but ultimately it's not worth even writing a mini-caption for. I am beyond surprised that this kind of music is still around, but more power to this one band that's keeping it on mainstream radio? I guess?

"The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars: If you've never heard this song before and generally equate pop music with laziness, you read the song title here before pressing play on the video and thought, "is he really being that forthcoming about his artistic process?" Unfortunately, as you listen to the pompadoured singer's latest single, which sounds way too much like LFO (responsible for one of the most profound couplets of all time: "I like girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch / Chinese food makes me sick"), he's just singing about being lazy for fun, not for a job.

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  1. Blogger DoktorPeace | 10:13 PM |  

    Podcast killed the radio star.

    Me and my sis went through the Billboard Top 10 the other day, to compare hipness. She knew 9 out of 10 songs. I only recognized 3, largely "thanks" to your last post.

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