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Ad it Up: The DIY of Home Shopping

Hey there, blogumunity. It is Tuesday night. There is absolutely nothing on TV on Tuesday night. I literally mean NOTHING. Ok, not literally, but everything is pretty much crap. And not only is there nothing on TV, I discovered that the band Train is still in action. Remember that song, "Drops of Jupiter?" Well, turns out they have at least one other song. I can't really name it, but they sang something other than "Drops of Jupiter" on Dancing With the Stars tonight. And then they sang "Drops of Jupiter." Yep, that was their big act tonight. Train. This is like one of the most-watched shows on network television these days (at least according to the trashy celb blogs I read), and the biggest band they can find is one whose greatest (and only?) accomplishment happened almost a decade ago.

So if you can't be satisfied by network television on a Tuesday night, how can you possibly expect pop culture to provide for you on a daily basis? You pretty much have to take it into your own hands. I think, with the re-emerging DIY movements, we should really value the tools that TV offers us to enrich our own lives in our own ways with blah, blah, blah.....basically, here are some crappy inventions that have really great infomercials that are both entertaining and somehow convincing that I, the single mid-20 something with a limited-space studio apartment, should, however impractical, invest in these products:

Sody Pop:

As a young person with limited funds and a giant caffeine addiction, I can't think of anything more cost-effective than making my own soda. I am SOOOOO sick of trying to recycle cans and bottles of name-brand soda that I constantly purchase and lug around. Plus, cuz I am totally doing constant micro-budgeting, I know that anything more than 20 cents per liter is completely outrageous.
Television has taught me that if I am thrifty enough, I can make all of the materials that I rely on for my present standards of living at home. But if you can't afford the up-front costs of the Soda Stream, then the very least you can do to save on your soda costs is the Bottle Top. The Bottle Top is the safe and effective way to save on all those cans of soda that you just can't seem to drink in one sitting:
I can't even tell you how difficult it is to down 12 ounces of soda at a time. At any given time I have like a million cans of undrunk soda in my refrigerator. And not only do I have an unusable reserve of half-drunk soda in my fridge, I can't even begin to describe my fresh produce problem...namely my fresh tomato deficiency. My friends and neighbors so rarely compliment me on my tomatoes that I have developed a complex about it. But no worries, I have a solution:

The Topsy Turv Plant
You know, I never pictured myself as one of those tomato-slicer lovers. I just always thought that I could grow my own tomato plants for cooking. But if there is anything that I have trouble doing in the kitchen, it is definitely slicing tomatoes evenly. All my friends are constantly complaining and making fun of my tomato slicing abilities. And they NEVER compliment me on the size of my tomatoes. The Topsy Turvy will change all of that. I will never ever be embarrassed about the size of my tomatoes ever again.

You see, I've been trying to grow my tomatoes right-side-up for years. What was I thinking?! I didn't understand how to make gravity work for me. This very boring lady can explain the benefits of "gravity" with the Topsy Turvey:
Gravity. It can be a simple act of nature or the force that changes buying habits all over the country. Either way, the people demand perfectly cut tomatoes and cheap soda. Must we deliver it to them? That is the question.

How do we truly "do it ourselves?"

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  1. Blogger Papa Thor | 9:03 AM |  

    Nothing on TV? Did you forget that it was "Makeover Week" on Biggest Loser?
    BTW Amy, nice tomatoes!

  2. Blogger qualler | 11:54 AM |  

    Are you kidding me?! Tuesdays are the biggest TV mash-up of the week! Lost, Parenthood, Justified, American Idol, The Hills/The City!

    The TopsyTurvy tomato is genius! Who wants to dig? It's so hard on the back, it shows the old man clutching his back not once, not twice, but thrice! Water comes down, so it has nutrient water! Why are these inventions always for old people first, though? I LOVE it when they double the offer, too!

  3. Blogger Reading Rachel | 12:55 AM |  

    WHAT?? Lost is on Tuesday night! That alone makes it the best TV night of the week hands down!!!

  4. Blogger chris | 1:37 PM |  

    From Facebook:

    "Not to critique your awesomeness, but Train's current single, "Hey Soul Sister", reached #3 on the Billboard top 100... and they also had "Meet Virginia"... just sayin..." -Hayley M.

    She's right, you know. I even blogged about 'Hey Soul Sister' last month. But of course you don't read my posts...(runs away and cries).

  5. Blogger かわやま | 10:33 PM |  

    大人 玩具
    おとな おもちゃ
    大人 おもちゃ 通販
    大人 オモチャ
    バイブ 大人のおもちゃ
    大人 おもちゃ

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