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Precocious Pipsqueaks: Scary Movies (That Don't Scare Me)

'Tis the season for horror, blogulutionaries. At the school where I teach, it's the time of year when children who come up to my waist describe people being disemboweled - with glee! That's because my students' parents have a warped sense of what kind of movies are OK to show to a seven-year-old, and which R-ratings should actually be heeded. For my part, I believe in protecting childhood innocence as long as possible- desensitization is not usually a good thing, and often leaves some long-lasting emotional scars.

Consequently, I've maintained my horror movie naivité as long as possible. I avoid all terror of the cinematic variety. In the spirit of family entertainment and maintaining the glimmer of youthful bravery in my eye, here is a list of "happy" halloween flicks. Enjoy.

Bedknobs & Broomsticks
I love the
random Disney films you can find when you're bored at a Blockbuster. We used to watch this all the time when I was little. Completely nonscary.

This is billed as a comedy and primarily sticks to
that vein, even when ghosts and demons make appearances (and especially with the final "spirit").

Hocus Pocus
Disney's latest try at a Halloween movie. I thought it was terrifying when I first saw it in elementary school, but later it was alright. Be warned if you're actually considering watching this with children: the word "virgin" comes up a lot and I remember lots of kids leaning over to their parents in the theater and asking what it meant. Fun times for adults!

Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit
This is absolutely my favorite! I love Wallace & Gromit, the British claymation stars. The short movie is chock full o'puns and innuendo that will go right over children's heads. It's hilarious and not at all scary, as long as you remind them that the were-rabbit just wants to eat veggies, not people.

And if all of those choices are too much holiday spirit for you, there's always "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."

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  1. Blogger chris | 2:53 PM |  

    I wish TBS's Monstervision was still around. That's what I grew up on and that way I wasn't exposed to actual violence, but edited versions of awesome/terrible horror movies. Oh man it was great...Changeling, The Serpent And The Rainbow, The Dead Zone, and even comedies liked Zapped! that were technically "horrifying." Because other than Ghostbusters, I could not get on board with any of these flicks as a youngster.

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