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Pop Fashion: I'm still watching it so that you don't have to!

I have to start this long overdue America's Next Top Model update with a little bit of a rant. This year's Emmy ceremony took some time to recognize reality show hosts. And who, of all the reality show hosts on television, should win that Emmy? Tyra Banks, that's who! She is by far the most dramatic, most animated host we love to hate. And yet she was not even nominated. For shame! I would nominate her based on the credit sequence alone. It's OK, Tyra. We give you the Bloggie for best reality show host!! (Editor's note: members of the Blogulator staff were in no way involved in this award decision.)

Tyra wasn't totally forgotten this year--she did win a daytime Emmy (like anyone wants one of those...come one!) for her talk show. Really, though, I don't feel that she's being recognized for what she does best. Her talk show is mediocre, at most, while her role as host of ANTM really makes the show--for better or for worse, she brings this reality competition show hating blogger back week after week, cycle after cycle.

As this cycle of ANTM continues, so does the drama. However, this cycle's controversial contestant, Isis, was already eliminated last week. What now, ANTM? Well, now comes the catalogue work! The girls had to make big clothing fit. They used clothes pins, empty water bottles (stuffed into the waistband of pants), anything they could to make these "huge" clothes fit onto their freakishly skinny bodies. What a challenge! Just what the show needs to get the young viewers to go anorexic.

Marjorie, the neurotic model, is quickly becomming my favorite. She does a great accidental Woody Allen impression. Apparently Marjorie acts this way because she's European, and Europeans are more nervous than Americans (really?). Sam (one of my least favorite girls) said she needs to just realize that she's not in France anymore. Thanks, Sam. Way to be helpful.

Perhaps in order to offset the "we're so skinny that none of our clothes fit!!" image, for the photo shoot the models all posed as 60s mod Godzilla-like giants who caused "natural disaster" for the fake, tiny town. I'm pretty sure that the term "natural disaster" does not cover attack by giants, but we can let that slide. I did like the idea of giant models destroying a town. I know, they're just representing different kinds of natural disasters...they aren't REALLY supposed to be giants. They represented such things as traffic jams (not a natural disaster!), blackouts (not a natural disaster) and earthquakes (okay, that one counts). I like to think of them as giants destroying a town. We're too tiny! No, wait, we're too big! We don't fit in anywhere! Really, they're just personifying what every woman feels inside...am I right?

In the end, Clark went home, and I can't say I was sad to see her leave. Marjorie and Sam are still in the running, and I look forward to seeing what ridiculous challenges Tyra has in store for us next week! Until then, I'll leave you with a REAL natural disaster--a tornado.

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  1. Blogger qualler | 11:41 AM |  

    That pic of Tyra near an Emmy has got to be photoshopped!

    I do also like Model French Woody Allen. She's so neurotic and not bitchy! She seems so out of place on ANTM, like she should be stumbling into a Mia Farrow role of some kind and not slumming it with these biotches.

  2. Blogger Brigitte | 12:12 PM |  

    that is totes not photoshopped! she won! look how excited she got!!

    also, as last night's episode continued, i fell a bit out of love with marjorie. She's actually pretty annoying after awhile.

  3. Anonymous Adam | 1:14 PM |  

    Tyra's facial expression in that picture is a natural disaster.

    Or, in a pretend monologue in my head . . . What's a natural distaster, Trya? YOUR FACE! Oooohhh....

  4. Blogger chris | 1:20 PM |  

    How much time do you have to spend to find such horribly frightening pictures of Tyra? Whether the answer is "many hours" or "just a few seconds," it worries me.

  5. Blogger Brigitte | 1:24 PM |  

    i'd like to say that i spend many hours searching for horrifying photos of trya, but...i always use the first few that pop up under my search. this leads me to believe that 90% of the photos of tyra floating around the internet are horrifying. Which just supports my theory that the media hates trya banks. Poor Tyra.

  6. Blogger qualler | 1:24 PM |  

    Or maybe....y'know...she's just actually the Devil.

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