Back to Life, Back to Reality?

Summer TV suuuuuuuuuuux! What's with this new Nashville Star show? And Last Comic Standing? America's Got Talent? Celebrity Circus?! And this new one called The Baby Borrowers?!! Most importantly, where's my Law and Order?

We all rejoiced when the writer's strike ended because that was supposed to mean less reality TV, but just looking at NBC's summer lineup, it's five nights a week of various talent shows. You used to at least be able to count on some good L&O at the end of a long day, but even that has been relegated to Saturday evenings, aka the worst time time slot on the entire schedule. And since I don't have cable, I can't even look forward to watching Jeff Goldblum take over for Chris Noth on L&O: Criminal Intent.

Maybe this overabundance of reality programming is pretty typical of summer programming, but I feel cheated after having to suffer through a long Minnesota winter with nothing but Girlicious and ANTM to get me through. Not to mention, we might be in for the long haul due to rumors of an upcoming Screen Actors Guild strike.

Is Hollywood collapsing on itself? The writer's strike brought us more reality TV, mostly in the talent show variety, and my initial thought was that an actor's strike would bring more of the same since the American public seems to be absolutely in LOVE with reality shows at the moment, and they are fairly cheap to produce because they rely on unpaid contestants. But then it occurred to me that an actor's strike would bring the reality TV trend to a screeching halt. Yes, the contestants may be cheap and easy to come by, but would anyone watch American Idol without Paula, Randy, and Simon? No. Would I continue to exploit the Quallers for their Tivo recordings of ANTM if Tyra Banks weren't hosting? No.

Whereas reality TV doesn't require writers, it still requires famous celebrities/actors to drum up mass appeal. Additionally, because of the timeliness of voting on these programs, there are likely no recorded shows in the can in case of a strike. Which begs the question, what will happen if the actors strike? I have a couple of theories/ideas for programming.

1) Public access will take over the network airwaves. This might not be the best option, ratings-wise, as anyone who has ever spent time watching public access can tell you that it is kind of like watching a third grade class perform Shakespeare.

2) Along similar lines, those uber-religious "news" programs could finally get their much-anticipated bump up from 2 a.m. to prime time. And for the next couple of months, scientists working on that giant atom smasher will be giving them a lot of fuel for that ever-burning doomsday fire.

3) Finally, if neither of those options work out, there's always the All Angry Amy channel! Here's the first topic:

You know what makes me angry?! Sub-par actors who marry models! Chris Kattan, whose only good movie was - wait, he has never made a good movie - married his model girlfriend this weekend. Why does such a bad actor get to have such a hot wife? And he's not that good-looking, either! I'd say maybe he's really funny, but we already covered that. Life just isn't fair - that's what makes me angry!

So those are the options, folks. Choose wisely, or we might end up having to talk to each other for entertainment. Let's just hope the SAG reaches an agreement faster than the writers did. I don't think I can sustain the Angry Amy channel for very long. And bring back my weekday evening Law and Order!

This entry was posted by Lady Amy, on Monday, June 30, 2008. You can leave your response.