Not So Different

Watching the series finale of The Wire this weekend was so bittersweet. I've been on the edge of my seat for the past year and half since we started watching season one on DVD, but I am terribly let down that that's all there is. All day I was in some sort of weird daze, just reflecting on the show and what I've learned so far. So I've decided to take three overarching concepts from The Wire and apply them to celebrity situations. Because drugs, racism, and kids born into unfortunate and sad situations are not just endemic to the streets of Baltimore, they are problems plaguing even the most privileged members of society.

Mystery Solved

Last week, I thought blogging about Amy Winehouse's collapse would be totally unnecessary since so many people were making such a huge deal about it, even though this incident pales in comparison to all of her stints in rehab - not to mention her and her husband's legal troubles. It turns out I was right. The real story is that it took her doctors a week to diagnose a problem that 97% of the population could have figured out prior to her fainting. I say 97% because I'm figuring about 3% of people live in a cave, and therefore don't know who Amy Winehouse is - and I'm including her doctors in that 3%. So what is the prognosis, you ask? After thorough investigation and multiple lab tests, doctors have figured out that if you smoke too much crack, you develop emphysema at the age of 24. But don't worry, because Winehouse's daddy is coming to her rescue by telling all of her drug dealer friends to stop pressuring her into doing drugs. For those of you who know me personally, I've got a little song about peer pressure that I think fits this situation pretty well. I have expanded upon it and am willing to lend this jingle to Mr. Winehouse. I think it will get the message across to his daughter that her friends are bad influences. It's sung like a mid-90's after-school-special tune and goes something like this:

Peer pressure. Pressure from your peers.
Yeah, peer pressure. It's all about pressure from your peers.

Crack Cocaine will turn your lungs black.
Kick the habit. Get that monkey off your back!
When rehab - it ain't doing you no good.
And getting clean - you didn't think you could.
Rise above those friends who offer blow
When they ask - ya gotta just say no!

And remember to resist the

Peer pressure. Pressure from your peers.
Resist the - peer pressure. It's pressure from your peers.

Resist the...resist the...resist the...

After Amy Winehouse hears that number, I have high (haha, get it) hopes for her recovery.

Hey, Don Imus - Taking on Racism May Not Be Your Calling

When Don Imus promised to use his new radio show as a platform for openly discussing issues of race following getting fired for his offensive remarks about the Rutger University women's basketball team, I don't think anyone actually took him seriously. And that's why I don't think he's going to get a free pass on this one. After talking about the repeated arrests of a Dallas Cowboys player, Imus asked what color the player was. He's claiming that the question was meant to expose racism in the case, but perhaps his own racism was exposed - at least according to offended listeners. Whatever, his intentions, Imus should know by now that he has probably lost his chance to champion the fight against racism. Furthermore, if he is going make such a claim, he should know better than to be coy and only insinuate that there is an issue. Following a huge faux pas like his, the best thing to do is be extremely clear in your intentions. I guess only time will tell what the fallout will be on this one.

And Finally, Won't Someone Please Think of the Children?

There are certain features that new parents usually claim their baby inherits from each of them. I've heard of babies having their mom's eyes or their dad's nose, but until reading about Jamie Lynn Spears giving birth this weekend, I'd never heard anyone claim that their baby has its dad's toes. If that is in fact true, I kind of feel sorry for the little girl, Maddie, who will grow up with her dad's feet. But I've always felt a little badly for the younger Spears girl, whose budding career was shut down very early on by this pregnancy. And now, she has a kid and a house in Louisiana, and a husband who wants more of her fortune. Thank goodness the baby was a girl, though, because in a couple of years Jamie Lynn can live vicariously through her. I'd put money on Maddie having a contract with Disney by the time she's 5-years-old.

Maybe it's not the tough streets of Baltimore, but these celebs are also part of a game, with its own rules and consequences. Similar themes too - crossover, perhaps? Maybe not, but in either game, once you're in it's hard to get out. And the ending is always bittersweet.

This entry was posted by Lady Amy, on Monday, June 23, 2008. You can leave your response.