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spin continually reminds me that modern music has its low points.

i used to love bashing popular music. when indie music wasn't widely accessible and you could still be considered a giant snob if you listened to music on subpop, it became second-nature to scoff at blink-182 on the cover of spin. but then, as things like garden state, countless mp3 blogs run obsessively by 20-something nerd-o-trons, and the best buy "developing artists" section screwed everything up, suddenly i didn't feel embarrassed digging out my copy of the self-titled collective soul album and vibrato-ing as loud as i can in my car to "december." i almost felt more pleasure in my music listening going back to the days of new rock 102.1 (holla southeastern wisconsin boyz) than finding the 10000th indie-rockers that think analog tape is like, totally more textured. nostalgic irony (post-irony?) is a funny thing and probably mostly good, but regardless, the following "popular new alt/rock releases" remind me a time when there was no conflict in making fun of mainstream artists and i could naively be a jerk about music (i'm not saying that i'm not anymore, but anyway...).

queens of the stone age [era vulgaris]: one of those bands that is somehow beloved by both indie circles and tool listeners. i enjoy elongated vocals and droney pop guitars much more when they're not accompanied by erratic circus rhythms and a goofy sean penn-in-fast times at ridgemont high stoner ethic. the alternative to this "alternative rock" is below:

--> cyann & ben "let it play"

the used [lies for the liars]: so i might rush to play "dead!" by my chem rom every time i'm near guitar hero 2, but at least their band leader (or their producer's vocal processing software) can hold a note and straddle that very important line of creepy, transsexual, goth, and emo. the used just go balls out in every direction possible and it's tiresome even trying to get this emo kid to like them, even semi-ironically. there is a way to use faltering vocals to one's advantage. it's called surrounding it with charming and sparkling guitars and melodies. the alternative to this "alternative rock" is below:

--> antelope "mirroring"

chris cornell [carry on]: didn't he do this already? i'm too lazy to allmusic him and figure it out. regardless, i can't recall any alt-rock superstar singers trying to do a gentler solo effort and succeeding in any capacity whatsoever. billy corgan? no one remembers that thing between zwan and zeitgeist. scott weiland? more like 12 bar boozed-up-and-boring! but then again, would i really rather hear another audioslave album? i like my gentle music pleasant, not aggravating to the soul. the alternative to this "alternative rock" is below:

--> mice parade "tales of las negras"

the bravery [the sun and the moon]: i've even come around on the killers since "when we were young" put the ROCK back in christian rock(-esque) anthem. but that was because they tweaked their technique, if only so slightly. but i'm sorry, i don't think i'll ever come around and say "yeah there's room for a sunnier version of she wants revenge." a more miraculous feat is putting gang of four and field music in a blender and me not yawning ferociously , but rather singing an undeniable melody along with a song before it's even over for the first time. the alternative to this "alternative rock" is below:

--> the maccabees "precious time"

marilyn manson [eat me drink me]: my brother once was a bouncer that was assigned to keep close guard on him at a club in milwaukee, make sure no one caused him trouble. my middle school was the school that got on mtv for banning marilyn manson t-shirts. this man has been too close to my life for way too long. why can't we just listen to pretty girl voices and washed-out sandy guitars? the alternative to this "alternative rock" is below:

--> sambassadeur - "between the lines"

paul mccartney [memory almost full]: i saw more of a fuss in the media about his one-legged ex-wifey on dancing with the stars than about his new record. i mean, c'mon, apparently there's people who (on purpose, might i add) listen to wings, but still not an audience that will listen to him complaining about being old. "when i'm 64, i will be brushed aside apathetically by my current legions of fans." did that not rhyme or something? luckily, the eccentricities that were probably the product of substance abuse and not their actual abilities lives on in indie-pop gems like the one below. the alternative to this "alternative rock" is below:

--> white rabbits "the plot"

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  1. Blogger DoktorPeace | 10:19 PM |  

    Holla back!

    Wait, I listened to V 100, where the hits always be makin' love to you, baby.

  2. Blogger peter | 12:50 AM |  

    holy god, cyann & ben for queens? i could kill you

    the new album is amazing, i would go into details but it would become redundant.

  3. Blogger P. Arty | 12:10 PM |  

    I too can NOT understand the QotSA fascination? Is it because of Dave Grohl's association? Is he cool among indie fans? Man alive, when I first heard them I was confused. When I saw them put an an embarassing set at Lollapalooza right before Broken Social Scene I was confused. And I am still confused.

    Although, that Guitar Hero song they do is pretty fun.

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