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Why I Won't See 300



So while the cat's out to roost, and I'm stuck here in the proverbial Blogulator world alone, without my Blogging companion, who is keeping this blogger's fiancee company (best be not puttin' the moves on, Chris! Or else Jerksica and I will eat your brains.) Rumor has it that Chris and Brigitte are currently attending 300 together this evening. Here's why, when Chris originally posed me going to see 300 with him "just to make fun of it", I said no:



1) Gladiator movies are stupid.
Okay, I know that it isn't technically "gladiators" or whatever, but it's technically an offshoot of old clothes movies. It's a bunch of people dressed in stupid costumes trying to chop each other's heads off. Now, let's get one thing straight -- people trying to violently murder in film is not necessarily a bad thing (see "The Sopranos", American Psycho, any zombie movie), but when there isn't something modern to make me care, I don't care. Oh, and I saw Gladiator in high school when I was in Germany, and they dubbed it in German and I had no idea what was going on. I didn't even get a pleasant nap out of it. I might still be bitter.


2) I don't have time to watch things ironically when my life is consumed with work.

This is maybe something that will change post-busy-time at work, but when I get home at 9:30 on a "regular" night during the week, the last thing I want to do is tune into some Lifetime flicks and laugh at the tough-but-sensitive woman who is a detective in a unit where nobody believes a woman can do the job, especially not the rough-and-tumble-yet-scruffily-handsome lead detective who, when confronted with a brutal rape and murder, lets the woman detective solve the case, and we all learn a valuable lesson about prejudices. Okay, maybe it's not on the bottom of my list, but I usually at least fall asleep to "Six Feet Under" these days (which the entire series box set is the greatest gift I've ever received, thanks Brigitte! but I digress...) and I just won't let myself get brought down any lower than I already am.

3) I am a pretentious jerk who wants to be one of the only people to not see a movie.

I've done this with the entire Pirates of the Caribbean series, and there's no reason to miss out on pointlessly boycotting a big hit movie for 300, either. I was talking to co-workers about how I had never seen Pirates because, well, I just never saw it, and I decided I wouldn't. I had a hard time explaining that, because when I thought about it, it's pretty ridiculous. However, one thing I am not is not stubborn, and I'm going to stick to my guns on this one.

So, that's that. I hope Chris is enjoying his potentially homoerotic film experience tonight. P.S., when I google-searched "pretentious jerk" images, this image of Lady in the Water appears.

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  1. Anonymous Lauren | 1:34 AM |  

    (This is Lauren, like Pat's sister Lauren)

    Boycotting the Pirates of the Caribbean movies is probably the best decision you've ever made. They don't call it Pirates of the Where-a-be-an-exit for nothing.

  2. Blogger Dave | 8:46 AM |  

    But it's COMICS, Qualler! Have you no respect for the nerdy arts?

  3. Blogger DoktorPeace | 9:44 AM |  

    So is Infidelity a Lifetime movie, or is that a photo-reference to Chris and Brigitte in one of those cinema loveseats?

  4. Blogger qualler | 10:16 PM |  

    Lauren: Thank you! I appreciate the validation.

    Dave: The only comics I have ever cared about was my comic book novelization of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie that I got when I had my tonsils taken out at age seven. Albeit, that was a pretty cool comic book. Also, I couldn't talk.

    Harry: It might be a little of both.

  5. Blogger Dave | 8:46 AM |  

    You should like comics. You're definitely nerdy enough.

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