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Television is a Massive Disappointment (With Spoilers!)

I should never have put all my trust in television in the last month, for it has let me down. Let me recount the ways...

Kidnapped
What I thought would be 24 meets Ransom in a cheesy, pure guilty pleasure way ended up being...24 meets Ransom in a snooze-fest way. Billy from Six Feet Under couldn't even save it. And it was cancelled already. Ouch.

The Nine
Nobody told me that SCOTT WOLF was involved in this thing. Scott Wolf is so dreamy AND vulnerable, get it? And right after Matthew Fox in Survivor Meets Faux Twin Peaks, I mean Lost. More like these two actors, and shows, are totally lost.

Friday Night Lights
Yeah, the first episode was great, with all the Explosions in the Sky and neat cinematography and dialogue that didn't remind me of Dawson's Creek. Then the next episode was on, and I think they played the whole Explosions in the Sky catalogue by the end of that episode because I was bored.

Nip/Tuck
I haven't seen any of Season Four yet, but after finishing the train wreck that was Season Three and hearing something about peanut butter, a dog, some girl from Little House on the Prairie, Rosie O'Donnell, a lottery, Rosie O'Donnell and Dr. Christian Troy gettin' it on, and The Guy from Dallas' testicles, I don't think I need to see it. You jumped the shark at Anne Heche, fellas.

Carnivale, or, HBO, or, Ratings
Now, given HBO's generally stellar track rating (the good - Mr. Show, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Sex and the City, the bad - Rome, Big Love, the ugly - Entourage), I'm not going to go out and say it's their fault that this Top Three Show of All Time got axed. But, as the only living proof that there can be exceptions to The Blogulator's Old Clothes Rule, I am angry that I will most likely be left hanging, wondering if that guy who is a healer can heal more people and more maniacally evil things kill other stuff.

O Alec Baldwin, please heal us of our miseries with a mini-series.

  1. Blogger DoktorPeace | 8:29 PM |  

    Finally a legitimate blog that hails the Carnivale legacy.

    You are a legitimate blog again now, right?

  2. Blogger Paal | 11:44 PM |  

    man... i tried to be non-combative... but attacking LOST? jerk!! at least attack it on grounds that are fair (i.e. every episode is a cock tease) but man OH man is the show brilliant. Michael Emerson is seriously one of the best actors on TV right now.

  3. Blogger Andrew | 12:25 AM |  

    Lost is brilliant. So is Deadwood, although it got canceled.

  4. Blogger qualler | 7:29 AM |  

    Oh Paal, I would never just say something to get a rise out of people about a show that I know a lot of people like and I don't actually hate that much...

  5. Blogger P. Arty | 11:10 PM |  

    Man, I couldn't disagree with this post more. Let us count the ways.

    1. Lost is genius. The best show on television right now, the second best I've ever seen.

    2. Kidnapped was awwwwwweeesome. All three episodes of it. RIP.

    3. The pilot of Friday Night Lights was horrendous. It was like watching a poor man's version of the movie (of the same name!).

    4. Lost is genius. I can't emphasize this enough.

    However, I do agree that Nip/Tuck is going (gone?) downhill, and The Nine was abysmal.

  6. Blogger Wipert | 11:35 PM |  

    So Lost is really good or like sort of good. I only saw the first episode and it was pretty cool, not like Carnivale which bored my soul. I have a chance to watch the frist season of Scrubs or Lost because my neighbors got both, which one is better?

  7. Blogger P. Arty | 1:11 AM |  

    Hahaha...Scrubs vs. Lost? Are you kidding me?? Totally separate leagues. Scrubs is alright, but Lost is the most balling thing ever.

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