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Something Smells Gamey - P2P Internet

I've played a few "video games" lately, in the classic sense of the term . I mean, they're the only thing that make me feel alive. But time is winding down before I abandon my console partners for a summer in Europe, so I've decided to offer a look at an alternate form of gaming that's developed on the world wide web. It's called, to coin a term, "talking to strangers." Like video games, parents fear the phenomenon. As we all know, however, parents are dumb, so we should ignore them, pop online after they go to bed to "finish our social studies homework," and see what kind of amazing people we can meet who are similarly wasting their lives.

The next time you feel lonely, horny, or murderous, consider the entertainment opportunities offered by these 3 sites with which I have personal, legal experience:

I think it's safe to say that this site is a certified phenomenon. Why? I'm not exactly sure. The concept is simply that you engage in cam-to-cam chat with a complete stranger, with the ultimate goal being... friendship? Yeah, this is why half the people on this service end up having a wank. Do people not realize that other people are horrible and, even more damningly, boring? Sometimes the other people are even French! How perverted can the internet get!?

Nevertheless, some visionaries have put the service to excellent artistic use. I direct you to Merton and his piano chat improv, if you are one of the few who haven't yet seen it (or Ben Folds' homage to it).

I can't really recommend the service otherwise. I've gone on with a picture of an evil cupcake and introduced myself as such, "Hello. I am evil, but I taste delicious." I usually end up banned within 5 minutes. I'd be safer taking off my pants, especially since that's where I keep my good cupcakes anyway.

This place is weird. Whereas Chatroulette focuses on one-to-one communication, Stickam goes with the many-to-one approach. Essentially, one person is the star of the show, and everything revolves around trying to get them to take their top off.

It's not all naughty. G4 -- the television station that once specialized in games and now specializes in always having commercials whenever I flip past so I don't really know what they have other than Cops -- has a Stickam channel where you can chat with their employees. This is exciting, right? I, for one, would like to ask what kind of 401K the company offers, as well as posit whether Gears of War 3 will be totally awesome, or simply kick-ass.

There are also a lot of Chinese radio stations on late at night, for what it's worth. I love when they do their countdowns of the top 50 singles of the 5-year plan.

And finally I present the only chat service I've actually frequented. Up to 12 people at once can stream their cams, showing either themselves or whatever sick internet shi* they mistakenly believe is more disgusting. Than themselves, I mean. Because people are ugly, ignorant pigs. Four legs good. Two legs bad.

Seriously, though. Let me know when animals start talking on the internet. I might be legitimately interested then.

Your enjoyment of Tinychat does largely depend on your tolerance for gay and racial epithets, but if you tread through the muck for long enough, it can be a great place to rest your hat for the night, distracting yourself from productivity by alt-tabbing back to see whether or not that cute emo girl is giving your hilarious comment hand hearts. It's more likely she's motioning to the cute emo boy who's making the same gesture... but still, I bet she was kind of responding to that funny thing I said about Asian politics.

Real seriously, though. None of these are the worst things in the world. There's no doubt garbage in all of them, but their existence offers a jumping off point for some real advancements in communication. Tinychat is a pretty amazing, free conference call service, if nothing else. My brother recently paid his own way to fly halfway across the country for a low-paying job he could have just as easily interviewed for online. There's something to be lost in that, to be sure. But maybe there's something to be gained, as well, in meeting someone, for the first time, in their home (where they're most comfortable), from your home (where you're most comfortable).

Because everyone is most comfortable fully naked. And fully erect.

And let's not forget the best of all... NO PARENTS!!! Lol <3.

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  1. Blogger chris | 12:18 PM |  

    Is it still considered homage when Ben Folds IS Merton? HUH? IS IT DOKTOR?!

  2. Blogger DoktorPeace | 2:12 PM |  

    Oh you.

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