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Ad It Up: Customize Your Oedipal Fantasy

I just saw the creepiest Kleenex commercial and had to share with everyone. If you are an adult male who is still totally into being coddled by your mother, or maybe never got enough attention from her, then Kleenex has the right service for you. Now the tissue monopoly can not only wipe away those painful tears of inadequacy, it can help you get your mommy fix too with its "Kleenex Virtual Moms."



What exactly is the service, here? Cuz "get mommed" kind of makes me think that it's like virtual porn. You know -- your mom jokes and all. If you are wondering what you will find at getmommed.com, click on the link and check it out for yourself. You can talk to several virtual moms who move and demand things of you while you search the site. Then you can choose your new mom (you can choose a hot mom, an overly attentive mom, or a 1950's-always-gonna-have-dinner-on-the-table-but-a-little-too-nervous-to-talk-to-you-about-girls mom, just to name a few). Or you can take the quiz to find out which type of mom fills that empty void inside that your own mother left when she destroyed your self-esteem. Then, you and your new mom can run away together - at least that's the impression I got. I opted not to give them my personal information so I never got to see how Magnolia would work out for me.

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  1. Blogger Papa Thor | 1:23 PM |  

    Mmm, this site is full of racism and sexism. Where's the lesbian mom? Or the Arab mom? Or the successful black lawyer mom? This is worse than those bears who don't know how to wipe.
    Plus, which one did you think was the "hot" mom? Tootsie?
    I want a mom that is half Laura Petrie, half Claire Huxtable, half June Cleaver, and half Grendel's mom.

  2. Blogger Lady Amy | 1:25 PM |  

    That's too many halves!! Maybe you'll get two moms then!

    I thought that the young mom sitting on the ground or possibly the vaguely Latino mom would be the hot one(s).

  3. Blogger Papa Thor | 8:24 AM |  

    The young hip mom does nothing for me, but the Latina is all right, I love Mexican food, assuming she is Mexican Latina and not Caribbean Latina. My mom has to be a good cook!

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