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Halloween!

Hey bloggers! The season of Halloween is upon us--my favorite holiday season of all time. And with Halloween comes my favorite scary movies and television specials of all time, too! As soon as October 1 rolled around, I rang in the season by setting up the trusty DVR to record scary movies. Only one week into October, I've already revisited some old favorites and added new favorites to my list of Halloween films. Perhaps eventually I'll copy Chris and come up with some candidates for the best Halloween/Scary movie of our generation, but for now, here are some reviews.

Halloween III: The Season of the Witch
This 1982 film has nothing to do with Mike Myers. It was meant to begin a franchise that would launch a new Halloween movie each Halloween. Each movie would have something to do with the holiday, but they would have little to do with each other. This didn't really pan out. People liked Michael Myers too much (even though it was never really about him, people!!). The Dish Network description says: "Two people discover that a TV commercial will cue a madman's Halloween masks to explode." I have to admit that I absolutely LOVE this movie. I've already watched it twice (both times it was just on in the background to get me into the spirit of the season while I baked Halloween cookies and got my other fall chores done, but still). It's a ridiculous film from beginning to end. I love this era of film in the early 80s when computer chips could somehow receive a signal from the television and make children's heads explode. I love that moment when our antagonist figures it all out--it was a computer chip! Of course! It's so simple! And television! The antagonist's motive is my other favorite part of this movie--kids today don't know the real meaning of Halloween! If you have not seen this film, you must. I will definitely watch it at least two more times before Halloween this year.
The Gate
This new favorite came out in 1987, but you wouldn't know it from the crappy production quality. You would guess it, however, from the outfits and hair! The Dish Network description for this one reads: "Two boys and a girl learn from a heavy-metal record that a gaping backyard hole is the gate to hell." This movie had me at that description, and it did not disappoint. What the description didn't tell me was that the "gaping backyard hole" was dug by the two boys because they were looking for geodes. How cool is that? Of course, the hole leads directly to hell, and things start to get out of hand. When the parents are out of town for the weekend and the 15-year-old sister is left in charge, she of course throws a party, and that is of course the exact moment that things tart to get kooky. There are even a set of annoying twin sisters as side characters, and adorable little demons that attack you at the ankles! This is another "must-see" on my list of holiday favorites.
Rob Zombie's Halloween
Ew. Do not see this. Srsly. I LOVE the original Halloween. Love it. It is one of my top ten favorite films of all time--I'm talking all films, not just scary films. This remake was terrible. It literally made my stomach hurt and I could only watch about twenty minutes until I had to turn it off and delete it from my DVR. Michael Myers is not supposed to be human. He is scary because we don't understand him, and because we cannot sympathize with him or reason with him. Rob Zombie's Michael Myers was a young boy who seemed pushed into killing as a result of too much bullying, both at home and at school. This, to me, completely ruins the original premise of Halloween. I don't care to know Michael Myer's back story. In fact, he shouldn't really have a back story. He is supposed to be the boogy man for crying out loud! Do not watch this one unless for some reason you're a big fan of creepy movies that make you feel physically sick and ruin an original classic.

One Missed Call
This 2008 release was pretty bad. I'd give you a synopsis, but after watching it, I'm not totally sure what it was about. People were dying and they would get a call from themselves in the future, and the message left on their phones was themselves talking right before they died...yeah, it was as confusing as it sounds. And when horror movies are too confusing, they are NOT SCARY. Look again at my favorite example, the John Carpenter's1978 Halloween, and keep it simple. More complicated usually means less suspenseful.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The description for this 1995 version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre reads: "Psycho Leatherface and his gruesome clan terrorize a high-schooler who loses her way the night of her prom." Renee Zellweger was that teenager, and she was actually with a group of high schoolers who left the prom early for some silly reason and of course were in a car accident in the middle of nowhere. The place they went looking for help? Why the home of Leatherface of course! And Matthew McConaughey was a member of his "gruesome clan." This was a pretty run-of-the-mill teen slasher film, but it held its own. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it. If you're a fan of the teenagers lost in the woods and only the one, kind of nerdy, but actually hot, shy girl will survive (SPOILER ALERT!!) horror flicks, then I'd give this one a watch. I've got the 2006 version on my que. (Interesting note: the actual title of this film was difficult to track down. My DVR tells me that it is called Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The..., and I though I saw it referred to as Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. IMDB calls it The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and gives it a release date of 1994 instead of 1995. Pretty freaky.)
In addition to all the actually scary (or at least scary to me) Halloween movies, I usually enjoy ABC Family's 13 Days of Halloween (each year on the 13 days leading up to Halloween they air a scary but family friendly Halloween flick each night), but this year I'm pretty disappointed with the lineup. One of the films airing this year is The Mask. Um...The Mask? Really? How is that a Halloween movie?! I'm not alone in my disappointment--the message boards are full of upset viewers. Yeah, so I went on ONE ABC Family message board ONE TIME. Big deal.

Right?

Stay tuned for more spooky reviews in a couple weeks! If you have any favorite Halloween-type movies that I must see, let me know about them!

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  1. Blogger qualler | 11:03 AM |  

    Halloween III is surprisingly better the more times you watch it, in a sorta-ironic, sorta-serious way. But I'm still really angry that ABC Family labels The Mask as a Halloween movie. What a load of crap.

  2. Blogger Papa Thor | 11:14 AM |  

    Some classics you should "check out" include:
    - the Ghost and Mr. Chicken
    Don Knotts' buggy eyes are always hilarious
    - Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein
    Special guest starring Dracula and Wolfman and a surprise visitor at the end!
    I really-really like the funny/scary movies, they are double-plus-good!

  3. Blogger chris | 5:48 PM |  

    Don't listen to Papa Thor. Proles are the original Internet trolls.

    I kid! I wanna have a Scooby Doo Halloween marathon party!

    THE GATE SOUNDS SO AWESOME!!! I WANNA SEE!!!

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