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Stars: They're Nothing Like Us (And This is Why You Don't Skip the Crappy Awards Shows)

You'd have to be living in a cave to have not heard by now the hoopla surrounding Kanye West's oops! on Sunday night. But in case you do live in a cave, here's a video to catch you up to speed (bear with the stupid commercials):


And this is the perfect reason why there is no awards show too crappy to watch. You may think that you don't want to dignify a mediocre, made-for-tweens excuse of an awards show with one second of your time, but if nothing else you will be up to speed on the outrageous doings of desperate celebrities.

And now just about everyone, from the president...



...to awkward hipster teens who are secretly into strong female country singers...



...has something to say about Kanye taking the spotlight from poor, innocent, 19-year-old Taylor Swift. Was it stupid of him to jump up on stage, rip the microphone out of her hands, and praise Beyonce? Yes, of course. But it's not like we all weren't thinking it. I mean you really can't top Beyonce, especially not with super-generic sugary country-pop made for little girls. The video for "Single Ladies," was genius...which is why it won "Video of the Year." It just wouldn't be fair to let her win in both categories!

Even though it was very stupid of Kanye to pull a stunt like this, it's not entirely his fault that it happened. MTV definitely should have known better, between his track record at awards shows and his prep for this year's show on the red carpet:


Or maybe they wanted the extra attention for outrageous stage antics because it's the only thing the VMAs have over the Grammy's, and they really haven't had any good ones since the Madonna-Britney lipstick lesbian love fest of '03.

So what's next for Kanye? After he apologizes profusely enough to Taylor Swift and the American public for stealing their baby's innocence, perhaps he'll work on his plan to upstage Patrick Swayze's death. Perhaps he'll co-opt Inside Edition and declare that Michael Jackson had a much better memorial dance montage? Who knows.

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  1. Blogger qualler | 11:59 AM |  

    Thankfully the internet has dealt with this crisis the only rational way the internet could deal with it: by creating a new internet meme - "Interrupting Kanye":

    http://www.zimbio.com/Kanye+West/articles/Crlkns0E4B_/Kanye+West+VMA+Interruption+Sparks+Latest

  2. Blogger qualler | 12:01 PM |  

    Even better here:

    http://kanyegate.tumblr.com/

  3. Blogger Lady Amy | 12:11 PM |  

    Looks like the internet beat me to the punch!

  4. Blogger chris | 1:15 PM |  

    Oh my god I love these memes. Sometimes Internet turnaround is ridiculously impressive rather than just pointing out how people have no lives.

  5. Blogger Papa Thor | 9:09 AM |  

    I was outraged by Kanye's behavior, until Marmee reminded me of the 1984 NBA draft, where I (embarrassingly) jumped up to the podium when Portland selected Sam Bowie over Michael Jordan. I mean, Sam Bowie! If you google this you will see the story validated by the internet, except for my participation, which has been conveniently erased from history, (much like the Israelite captivity in Egypt) even the infamous SNL skit where I am portrayed rather unflatteringly by Billy Crystal has been edited out. And my blackballing from the NBA seems harsh, the Clippers were going to select me in the 59th round, so I kind of feel for Kanye.
    I'm just saying'

  6. Blogger qualler | 9:54 AM |  

    Clearly Sam Bowie was the right pick for Portland at the time, Papa. I mean, you can't teach height, am I right?

  7. Blogger Papa Thor | 8:01 AM |  

    No disrespect to Sam, imma'd (what is the past tense for "imma"?) let him finish, but my man Michael was one of the best college hoopsters of all time.

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