The Quest of 1994: The Single Finest Film of Our Generation?

Well, nostalgia enthusiasts, we are officially halfway through our quest, depending on how you look at it. You see, I've decided to ixnay the 1998 round (the nominations are too weak, to say the least, if you check out my original post that kick started all this hoopla) and am instead officially going to include a "Wild Card Round" before the final post that determines the ultimate victor, or the Single Finest Film of Our Generation. This controversial mid-Quest tactic may indeed negate the entire process we'll have gone through by that point, but that's part of the fun. Nostalgia isn't something that is permanently implanted in our brains and doesn't let go as we grow older. No; instead it revisits us in bursts of unpredictable ecstasy and it is our job to document these irrational "past-gasms" not dissimilar to how my cat goes through phases of love love loving those salmon dental treats at seemingly random intervals. Also, yallz have come up with some solid arguments for films I left by the wayside and those should be discussed and officially considered before the final post as well. Lastly, this may indeed not be the halfway mark because I am also putting my proverbial tippy toes in the water re: a Quest for the Single Finest (For Realz) Film of Our Generation, in which we explore films such as (but certainly not limited to) Scream, Clueless, and Reality Bites, aka films that not only hold nostalgia value and are still entertaining to watch as a bonafide adult, but also are still genuinely great movies, totally unironically/mockingly. Feel free to rave/vent about this idea in the comments, along with your vote for the year of 1994...

True Lies: The final of three Ah-nold films covered in this informal exploratory research project may not be the best of his work (like Terminator 2) nor is it the worst (Last Action Hero), but it is quite possibly the least problematic. James Cameron straddled the line between art and action a wee too much in Judgment Day and the meta-trashiness of 1993's overly kid-friendly flick was just too chaotic and nonsensical to completely enjoy. However, True Lies is a beautiful film because it's 100% pure candy. It has all the trappings that an action film must have to be effective (just enough of a sketch of a character to feel sympathy, convoluted plots that your brain tricks you into thinking they make sense), but it also is painted with set pieces that make your eyeballs explode (jet planes on buildings and over the sea) and expertly crafted sequences of suspense (from attending a fancy dinner party to being an undercover sea diver) that make it the perfect candidate for the action film of our generation. However, Tom Arnold and Jamie Lee Curtis haven't exactly grown likable over the years, if you know what I mean...like not even in a Keanu sorta way. More like a Gilbert Gottfried sort of way.


Speed: Speaking of that man behind the legend, here's my personal choice for victor of 1994. Speed was one of the few American films that Quentin Tarantino remarked about in his recent list of "Top 20 Films Released While I Have Been Directing Movies" and while its kitsch value wasn't mentioned, the cold hard adrenaline factor was. And rightfully so, because while movies like True Lies and The Last Boy Scout are eternally entertaining in their ability to giddify the senses, nothing has ever been (and quite possibly, nothing ever will be) as white-knuckled and raw as the scenario(s) presented in Jan De Bont's landmark thriller. On the surface, the elevator, bus, and subway all seem like gimmicks tied loosely together to create the ultimate novelty action flick. But Mr. Reeves and Dennis Hopper, specifically, dedicate and commit themselves to these concepts with such blank-faced/devil-faced gusto that the movie's success in making you laugh hysterically just moment before and after you scream "what the shit?!" as the bus jumps like a 500 foot gap in the freeway, or Hopper gets his face taken off by a subway fixture, or whatever. It's beautiful, it's simple, it's perfect. It's mothereffing Speed, mothereffers.

Stargate: I was very close to going against my gut instinct and giving some much deserved love to this wacky sci-fi gem that regrettably spawned a subpar wacky sci-fi series by naming it my personal pick for 1994. Of course just thinking about Speed was enough to kick the moment of weakness to the curb, but I must admit that there's something almost indescribable about how James Spader bumbles his way through a story about a magical circle that brings him to a distant ancient Egypt-esque planet (he was famously reported as signing on to the because he was curiously astounded by how atrocious the script was) that I latched onto as an 11-year-old. He was a nerd and he was the main character! I'm aware that this is now (and quite possibly has always been) just as trite as the jock or brawny guy taking the lead, but oh how he butted heads with big scary military leader Kurt Russell (so badass he's almost unrecognizable here) and knew so many things about Egypt and hieroglyphics that it made the alien desert girls swoon! And of course got him back to Earth finally in the end (spoiler alert)! This may have been a way stupid movie, but it was uniquely stupid and still maintained the conventional structure of your average adventure movie to keep little 'ol nerdy me fascinated with fake Egyptian mythology for weeks afterward.


D2: The Mighty Ducks: I think the superiority of D2 to the original can be summed up quite easily in just one word (it may be the only sequel that can be so easily argued as better than its predecessor): knucklepuck. Just when you didn't think a movie about a band of misfits employing their 'Flying V' panacea/technique on repeat could bear an interesting sequel, all of a sudden we see the playing field (hardy har) upped on almost every level. Suddenly we're dealing with the Junior Goodwill Games (which I remember confusing with the real Olympics for the first few viewings), an even more wacky ragtag team of hooligans (the Bash Brothers!), and an even more insanely dangerous and badass winning strategy: gently standing up the puck with one's stick, and then smashing it across the ice as hard/fast as one possibly could. How many broken noses and bloody teeth that moment in film history ended up being responsible for is irrelevant; it changed every boy with roller blades and access to a nearby Dunham's life. It was a very rudimentary procedure for enhancing the original story and telling it again with more bombast and splendor, but boy did it work. D2 might even be the best strictly children's film on this Quest, and while I'd be up for a Mighty Ducks party sometime in the future, I would skip in favor of a "Need for Speed" gala hands down, without question. Sorry, Kenan.

Blank Check: Well this is anti-climactic. It's amazing how a movie about a kid who gets literally anything he wants is shown up with such ease by a movie whose greatest claim to fame is a puck-striking strategy. Nevertheless, Blank Check still is notable and worthy of inclusion in 1994's list of nominees for three reasons: 1) Tone Loc, 2) a waterslide coming out of a castle and into a pool, and 3) the ever appealing subtextual plot of a young boy attracting the creepy attention of a "smokin' older woman" (in 11-year-old Chris language), especially while running through one of those floor fountains where you don't know when they're going to spurt water and tee hee! All of a sudden we're both all wet and laughing and she looks at him longingly and then his dreams are crushed and he has to give up everything. Luckily in the world of the movies, we can pretend that sobering reality never happened in the film and the kid lived happily ever after as the mysterious "Macintosh", spending and spending until that $1,000,000 never runs out.

This entry was posted by chris, on Monday, September 07, 2009. You can leave your response.