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Something Smells Gamey: Interview Edition

Hi. Just your friendly video game reporter here, handle Raymond Jaymond. I know we haven't spoken in a while, but I've come back with something I hope will knock your new Turtles in Time socks off! It's an interview with a radical industry insider, who's going to take us inside the future of gaming! I'm talking virtual reality stuff like on the Star Trek, so strap yourselves in, dudes. This is gonna be one wild ride with X-Con Games producer, Harvey Witzberg!

So Harvey: I hear a lot of funny things at Computer Plus Magazine, but you claim that you have actually seen the future of games. That, like, blows my mind!
I'm just here to talk about 2009, which is the current year, so....

Right on! I love a man who sticks by his story! I bet televisions are all digital and stuff where you come from, right?
Well, yes actually. In fact, as of tonight, all televisions have to be equipped for digital signals or they won't pick up programming.

Wild, man! So what you're saying is that you're like gonna steal the white noise off my set, do a totally cool ollie with it, and then shoot it into space like a demon? Cool! Anyway, let's talk games... of the future! I know some of my buds won't like this, but I'm totally into RPGs like Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy. Do those still exist in your age, my time-travelling compadre?


At the Electronic Entertainment Expo last week, they actually announced that Final Fantasy 14 will be released soon after FF 13 next year. It'll just be the usual online follow-up, but I still expect good things, especially for the active PC community. Square-Enix also released FF 7 on their online store, and I'm playing through it for the first time. I've heard from others that it hasn't aged well, but I'm finding the core gameplay and story to be a good time.

Hey hey, slow down man. You're dropping bombs on me left and right, and my LA Lights are blinking out of control as I shuffle my feet to avoid them! You're telling me that there are going to be 7 Final Fantasy games?!
If you were listening, I actually said double that number.

I couldn't listen, man. I already told you that you blew my mind, and my eardrums totally went with it! I'm a bit calmer now, though, so tell me: Did you see any games at the expo in which the characters had killer guns?!
Pretty much every game has guns it seems (ed. WHOA!). Everyone's trying to come up with that new cool weapon, or that cool new visual effect that will make the violence that much more visceral. Really, though, it's a lot of the same stuff in slightly different packages.

Different packages? Don't tell me they're crushing my cardboard, too, dude! Seriously, don't tell me.
Well, what I meant was different scenarios and characters.

Hold on, man. NEW CHARACTERS?! I would love to hear more about that.
Lots of space marines and ninjas. One is going to be voiced by Eliza Dushku, actually, which may interest your audience - although I wasn't a big fan of her work in Yakuza.



That kid from True Lies is putting her voice in a game? That's weird, but awesome! Those midi files are gonna fill like 10 discs, I bet! I shouldn't be techno-talking you to death, though, so I'll throw just one more question your way. What is the future of gaming?
I still don't know what future you're talking about, but here in 2009, it seems like all the major companies are looking towards motion control. It's obviously the main feature of the super-successful Wii (ed. haha the WHAT?!). Sony is emulating that with their own wand remote, trying to achieve more one-to-one accuracy. And Microsoft is emphasizing total body movement with Project Natal.

Total body movement? YAWN you're boring me now, man! We've already got that with the gnarly Sega Activator. Check it out!



Our thanks again to Harvey for stepping into the chat zone. He's totally wack, but that's cool. They said the same thing about Marky Mark, and we all know how cool he is. Wicka wack! See you next issue! - RayJay

  1. Blogger chris | 10:52 AM |  

    "And couples can use it instead of marriage counseling!"

    HEY-OH!!!!!!!!

    I had no idea about the Sega Activator. I wonder if it worked for Tazmania, my #1 played game, tied with Krusty's Fun House.

    I WAS A COOL KID.

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