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Angry Amy Is the Last to Know

You know what makes me angry?!!! That there are 3000 people (*people, not just children*) who are stupid enough to swallow batteries!! At least, that is according to The Insider TV show last week, and I confirmed the story with the government poison center. And do you know what happens when you swallow batteries? They burn your insides with battery acid, duh!

Beyond that little shocking tidbit, do you know what else makes me angry?!!! When I find something super cool on the internet, get really excited about it and tell all of my friends only to find out one painstaking conversation after another that everyone and their grandmothers already know about said cool internet thing.

Take, for example, this amazing video series I found on Stereogum called "Breakfast at Sulimay's." For far too long indie rock music has been a little lacking in diversity. I mean, you see the same kids at the same shows, reviewing the same bands' records on the same websites and papers for the same audience. Where's the progress in that? And you know who is perhaps the most under-represented group in the entire scene? Old people. I'm not talkin' those 30-something, washed up ex-musicians who somehow went from living on a futon in their buddy's crappy party house to having a wife and two kids, worrying about things like health insurance and building equity. Nor am I talking about the 40-something die hard rockers who continue to attend concerts, sip their PBRs in the back of the bar, and creepily stare at every passing girl. No, I'm talking about REALLY old people. Like in their 80's old. You never get to hear their point of view on music. But that's where "Breakfast at Sulimay's" comes in. In this episode,

I love how old people read things out loud - like every word or concept is totally new to them. Like they've never heard the word "common" or "folk" or the name "Justin." Like almost everyone else, I like to compare any three-judge panel to the core American Idol judges, and that is exactly what I will do for "Breakfast at Sulimays." Bill is kind of the Randy Jackson, just because he is kind of the least controversial and always gets upstaged by the other two. Ann, the bossy one, is the Paula Abdul. She gives everything a fair shake and mostly likes it all. There's also sort of a pushy mom vibe to her. She always comes up with the funniest terms to describe the music, like calling Common's rapping style "mish-moshing it." When Ann doesn't like something, she just says "nah. nuh uh." Joe is totally the Simon Cowell of the group. In all the episodes I've watched (like 6 of the 23), he has not liked any of the songs they play and he always looks like he's falling asleep. Every song is just not his "cup of tea."

Old people reviewing indie rock records might be one of the most adorable and hilarious things I've ever seen. That's why I got so excited when I found this I almost peed my pants. But that excitement was very short-lived. Why do people have to rain on others' parades with their soul-crushing drops of "I already know about that?" Why?!

Well, dear reader, I may be disheartened, but perhaps there's still hope for you. If you want to watch more episodes of "Breakfast at Sulimay's" you can check them out here. Then tell your least cool friends about it - or even better, your parents. That way you can be sure they haven't heard it before and you'll look super awesome.

  1. Blogger qualler | 9:31 AM |  

    When you say "people" about when they say "I already know about that", you're talking about me, right?!?!?! Well, Angry Amy, maybe you should try discovering things earlier!!!!!! (That'll REALLY make Angry Amy even angrier!)

  2. Blogger Brigitte | 10:18 AM |  

    I had not heard about this...thanks for discovering it, Amy! Very funny.

    Mark: you're a jerk.

  3. Anonymous OHD | 10:33 AM |  

    I also haven't heard of this, so don't be too Angry, Amy! You can still be angry about the batteries, though, those people are idiots of the highest order and need to be shot to the moon.

  4. Blogger Lady Amy | 10:57 AM |  

    I was trying to be diplomatic, Qualler, but yes, you and Chris are jerks!

    And THAT'S what makes me angry!

    That and batteries. People are so so dumb.

  5. Blogger Papa Thor | 5:07 PM |  

    I got nervous when you said "old people" and built up to "older than 30" and "older than 40" and you might say "in their fifties!" but, phew, you went right to "in their 80's" so I guess I'm not that old. Plus I already knew about the batteries.

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