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Lifetime of Love

Greetings friends. I know that everyone's talking about something called "The Oscars" this week, but I'd like to take a look back at one of the most meaningful holiday weekends ever: Valentine's Day weekend!! Even better, the weekend began with Friday the 13th. What better way to celebrate than a combination of feature films and made-for-TV movies? Unfortunately, Friday the 13th was sold out, so I had to make up for it with a slew of other films. Friday night I saw Coraline and My Bloody Valentine, both in real 3D. Then, Lifetime celebrated the holiday with a Sunday filled with movies about abuse, murder, abduction, and rape. Hurray!

Those who know me know that I'm a huge fan of Tim Burton, particularly The Nightmare Before Christmas, so I was really looking forward to this one. I was fairly disappointed. The film started strong, with creepy animation and a weird robot hand sewing a creepy looking doll together. The movie took a negative turn later on when it began to feel more like a weird, interactive computer game than a movie. I was also somewhat confused about the intended audience. Whereas Nightmare Before Christmas was enjoyable for adults and children alike, Coraline seemed too creepy for children but too boring for adults. Overall, I'm glad I saw it, but I don't think I'll be seeing it again anytime soon.

My Bloody Valentine 3D
This is probably the least frightening horror film I've ever seen, and I had to close my eyes throughout most of Dead Silence, so that's really saying something. It was, however, terribly good, and Jack from Dawson's Creek (Kerr Smith) was one of the main characters. From the opening sequence of frightening newspaper headlines flying at me in 3D, I knew I was in for a treat. The plot twists, characters, and effects were just ridiculous enough to make it an entertaining hour and a half, though I think that about 30 minutes of plot explanation (we didn't really need any explanation) and flashbacks at the end could have been cut out. I actually managed to fall asleep for awhile, and when I woke up I was ready for things to be wrapped up. The final twist also didn't make a lot of sense to me, and the flashbacks that explained what had "really" happened felt like cheating, since these flashbacks added things that weren't actually there the first time around. The stupid ending didn't really take away from my enjoyment, though, and it was definitely my favorite film of the evening.

No One Would Tell
Did anyone else have to watch this movie about an abusive relationship in their middle school health class? No? Just me? This classic 1996 made-for-TV release, starring television favorites Candice Cameron and Fred Savage, tells us what happens if we get into an abusive relationship, or if we let our friend stay in an abusive relationship. Someone ends up dead. I can't think of a better way to end Valentine's Day weekend than a friendly reminder about the deadly side of love. Cameron's character gets herself caught up in an abusive relationship with golden boy Savage, and when her friends and mom start to notice bruises and even public aggressive behavior, they decide not to get involved. And what happens to Cameron? Well, when she finally decides that enough is enough and breaks it off with Savage, he murders her and dumps her body in the lake. So, the other lesson learned is that once you're in an abusive relationship, you'd better stay put, because being shoved around is probably still better than being dead. Though, he does end up going to prison for life and Sally Jessy Raphael, who plays the wise judge who convicts him of murder at the end of the movie, reminds all of us that if we witness an abusive relationship and don't do anything, we're all guilty of murder. As an awkward 12-year-old who was mostly afraid to look boys in the eye, this film was extremely relevant for me and not at all a waste of two class periods.

Taken in Broad Daylight
Another Dawson's Creek star, James Van Der Beek, makes his triumphant return to television (no, I don't really care to see whether he's done anything else on TV since Dawson's was on, and I'm sure that none of you really care) in this Lifetime Original Movie which premiered on February 15 on Lifetime Movie Network. And man, was he creepy as ever! This time he plays a villian (quite a stretch for the old acting muscles!) who kidnaps a young girl in, you guessed it, broad daylight, and takes her with him on a weird cross country trek. The girl tries to outsmart him and alert local and FBI authorities to their wherabouts throughout the kidnapping and ultimately survives the horrific ordeal. Now, I can kind of see the connection between No One Would Tell and Valentine's Day--at least that one deals with a romantic relationship, albeit an abusive one. But a movie about kidnapping? Really? Lifetime advertised the weekend as "Love him/love him not," airing the "love him" movies on Saturday and leaving the "love him not" for Sunday. Even with that theme, I think a film about a random kidnapping (he wasn't even a deranged ex-boyfriend or obsessed stalker) is a pretty big stretch. I guess it was a comforting way to end the weekend however, since it is probably safe to say that no matter how crappy your Valentine's Day was, it was still better than being kidnapped by James Van Der Beek.

Happy Oscars everyone!!

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  1. Blogger Sean | 10:15 AM |  

    in my health class we watched the movie about anorexia with tracy gold in it. pretty sure mark paul gosselar was in it, too, as her older brother.

    that movie changed me.

  2. Blogger Adam | 11:21 AM |  

    What was missing from Coraline that Nightmare Before Christmas had is Tim Burton. They are both directed by Henry Selick, Coraline was written by him and Nightmare was written by Burton.

  3. Blogger Brigitte | 11:26 AM |  

    adam's right--i should have mentioned/realized that. also, dakota fanning. she's a ruiner.

  4. Blogger Lady Amy | 12:41 PM |  

    Yeah, she is! What a betch!

  5. Blogger chris | 1:13 PM |  

    Having experienced the same school system, I too saw that film, Sean. Though I think it's bulimia because she stores jars of her own vomit in her closet. Or maybe I'm thinking of another health class movie.

    I actually liked Coraline for the most part. The scotty dogs were great, as was the cat and the They Might Be Giants-penned "Other Father Song". The thing that did bug me was the pacing - it felt way too slow and methodical for an animated film. Maybe that's just because we've been conditioned to think that animated movies should be fast and exciting.

  6. Blogger Sean | 1:16 PM |  

    oh, really, chris? i thought it was anorexia cause the real tracy gold had bulimia and she was showing her range as an actress by playing a different eating disorder. vomit in jars?!? uhh, i don't think that was in there.

    the main scene i remember is her coming down stairs during a family gathering and everyone was shocked to see how thin she'd gotten. also, i think it was her mom's fault for pressuring her.

  7. Blogger chris | 1:21 PM |  

    This guy's remembering the same Tracey Gold eating disorder Lifetime movie as I am, with the jarred vomit and everything.

    Did you repress it because it hit too close to home, Sean?

  8. Blogger Sean | 1:24 PM |  

    100% inappropriate.

  9. Blogger Brigitte | 2:56 PM |  

    Sean and Chris: you're both right. Tracy Gold has been in several eating disorder films. I remember both those movies--but i think they're separate movies...in one she's away at college and she just goes for a run when other students in her dorm offer her pizza. in another she stores jars of her puke.

  10. Blogger qualler | 3:01 PM |  

    You mean to tell me that Tracey Gold was in TWO movies about eating disorders? Color me amazed.

    I never watched either of those in my health class, but I did watch a movie where the climactic scene involved a young woman talking to the star football player, saying "Gary...you raped me. You RAPED me." Something Lifetime movies could learn -- showing a lady who actually does something about being raped, eh?

    By the by, Coraline the movie is based on Coraline the childrens book, written by Neil Gaiman, who RESIDES IN MINNEAPOLIS!!! So, it's like, we basically made the movie, am I right???

  11. Blogger DoktorPeace | 3:17 PM |  

    Qualler - what a Minnesota patriot. I guess instead of drinking hot chocolate to stay warm up there, you guys just suck eacho..@#Q$&#@&%94t

  12. Blogger Sean | 3:26 PM |  

    @Doktor: hahahah, zing!

    @Qualler: uggh, so sick of hearing about mpls and its residents.

    @Everybody: milwaukee makes BEER!

  13. Blogger DoktorPeace | 3:34 PM |  

    Seriously. Will we ever get through one day on this Sota-centric blog without somebody bringing up Josh Hartnett or Charles Schultz?

    Hello. Milwaukee has Heather Graham. In comparison, your guys are peanuts.

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