Without a trace (of decent plot)
As alluded to in prior posts, I don't really consume a whole bunch of fresh pop culture in the summer months aside from movies. So tonight I decided I'd watch a show on TV I never really watch. Seeing as how I don't have cable, my choices were somewhat limited but I settled on the CBS crime procedural "Without A Trace". Below is a transcript of the notes I made while viewing...
Episode Title: Res Ipsa (found this in the TV section of the paper. "Res Ipsa" refers to a Latin phrase "Res Ipsa Loquitur" which translates "the thing speaks for itself" and is a legal doctrine in tort law. After viewing, it has little relevance to the actual episode)
9:01pm: Episode beings. Cold open. At a hospital. A blond journalist lady is chatting with her cameraman in a van. They talk to a Doctor that seems pissed. He breaks their camera.
9:02pm: Hahahah! blond journalist literally fades into invisibility. Is this a stylistic technique or does she have powers?
9:03pm: Opening credits. Ooh, Anythony Lapaglia is in this (L-Pag). He has aged since Empire Records. Generic shots of missing people, dramatic piano, shots of NYC buildings. Typical.
9:04pm: Degree Deodorant ad says 1 in 4 people think they sweat too much. Is that true? I
know I do. Jesus.
9:06pm: Blond lady is the missing person in the case. Her name is Christine Woods. Suspects: The angry Doctor! The cameraman is concerned about her. I suspect he's in on some stuff. Also, the journalist's son is dead. He died a year ago in Guatemala. Why is this relevant?
9:09pm: "42 hours missing" subtitle. Nice time-keeping subtitles. I dig.
9:10pm: The cops talk to an immigrant lady that knew the journalist. She doesn't want to go back to Guatemala. I guess she dated the dead son. Mentions how the journalist had an inside source on the hospital story. And apparently the immigrant girl (who's like 20) sleepwalks at night. WTF?
9:13pm: "43 hours missing." They trace a phone call and it's the same neighborhood as that shady Doctor. He has a deep, gritty voice. Oh man! He's the secret source and he yelled at the journalist to create a cover for her to look for her possibly not-dead son. He's actually a good guy. LEFT TURN!!! Some other immigrant guy came from Guatemala in a flashback and told the journalist her son is NOT DEAD but IN PRISON.
9:16pm: Some stupid Loew's ad where a guy keeps continually remodeling his house all because his wife keeps grimacing at him while folding her arms. Oh, look, the daughter does it too, how dreadfully cute. Suburbia is a wasteland.
9:20pm: What? Big Brother is still on the air? Uggh, TV is the worse.
9:21pm: Flashback to Guatemala, son is alive, some dude is there at a table. The son mouths off some political beliefs. I smell trouble.
9:23pm: Office shot of a timeline where events happen. Ooh, just like real cops.
9:25pm: "50 hours missing." They visit a psychologist lady that knew the immigrant dude that knew the son. I guess the dude was a prisoner in some military prison. Generic shots of torture, dogs and water-boarding. Oh crap, this episode is going to get political. I hate this. The guy's name is Juan. He's now a cabbie in NYC. His torturer (Ortega) gets in a cab with him! OMG. Ortega has left his past behind to start again. Wow. Awkward. The psychologist told Christine about Ortega.
9:26pm: "52 hours missing." Video footage of Christine with Ortega at gunpoint shows up. Did she kidnap him??? LEFT TURN!!!
9:29pm: Mike Myers on Late Show tonight? No thanks.
Greatest American Dog? The reality-show? Reality stoops even lower.. (I am not a dog person).
9:33pm: Oh man, the dude from the flashback in Guatemala is actually a CIA contracted dude. He knows Ortega.
9:35pm: Dude says he wasn't involved in son's imprisonment in a flashback.
9:36pm: Ortega shows up alive in Christine's car. He took the gun, kicked her out and ran off. She is still missing. What the hell??? Ortega used to be a Professor in Guatemala before the government forced him to be a jerk. Bummer.
9:39pm: L-Pag gets an urgent call. The CIA guy wants to do a deal where they torture Ortega to find the journalist (his ex-girlfriend). L-Pag agrees despite his partner's (Lydia??) frowny-faced objection. This is bad news.
9:40pm: L-Pag leaves to go torture Ortega. He promises to stop it in case it goes too far. He's sensible.
9:41pm: Hahah, commercial for an actual missing person. Thanks, CBS, now I know you care.
9:44pm: Greastest American Dog commercial contestant quote, "my dog is my soul mate." Pathetic!
9:46pm: "68 hours missing." Ortega is in a stress position in hand-cuffs with heat lamps on him. L-Pag looks remorseful for agreeing to such a plan. The other cops frantically search for the journalist.
9:48pm: L-Pag wants to stop the torture. CIA wants to up the ante with a nail-gun (seriously). CIA guy busts out some shears to cut off fingers! Holy shit!
9:49pm: Ortega freaks out at the sight of the shears and says he told the journalist the son was alive at some rando prison. CIA guy gets mad and cuts off a thumb anyways. L-Pag freaks out and punches the CIA guy well after the line has been crossed. The shears fall to the floor and are covered in blood. This is dark.
9:51pm: They interview the immigrant girl again cause apparently the journalist called her for a meeting. She flips out a bit and we learn she was also a torture victim.
9:54pm: Flashback. Immigrant girl tells journalist the son died of infections from a beating. He died because the girl named names for some political organization because she was tortured. The journalist forgives her. All seems cool.
9:55pm: Journalist promises to get the story known about how torture in Guatemala is bad. Fearing deportation, immigrant girl KILLS THE JOURNALIST!!!! What the hell??! LEFT TURN!!
Of course immigrant girl confesses to this in a routine conversation with cops without a lawyer present... Sooooo dumb.
9:56pm: Cameraman shows up to docks where they find the body. I guess he's really just a concerned coworker. Poor dude.
9:57pm: Office. Conclusionary crap. L-Pag mentions CIA guy is in custody for being a jerk. His partner Lydia seems pretty mad at him.
9:58pm: "What happened to you?" Seriously, L-Pag. What's the deal? Torture?
This office is really lit dramatically. I bet it's hard to do work there.
THE END
Conclusions:
1. Don't go to Guatemala. I guess it sucks.
2. Don't trust immigrant girls that sleepwalk.
3. Torture is cool as long as you stop it right after it's gone too far.
Episode Title: Res Ipsa (found this in the TV section of the paper. "Res Ipsa" refers to a Latin phrase "Res Ipsa Loquitur" which translates "the thing speaks for itself" and is a legal doctrine in tort law. After viewing, it has little relevance to the actual episode)
9:01pm: Episode beings. Cold open. At a hospital. A blond journalist lady is chatting with her cameraman in a van. They talk to a Doctor that seems pissed. He breaks their camera.
9:02pm: Hahahah! blond journalist literally fades into invisibility. Is this a stylistic technique or does she have powers?
9:03pm: Opening credits. Ooh, Anythony Lapaglia is in this (L-Pag). He has aged since Empire Records. Generic shots of missing people, dramatic piano, shots of NYC buildings. Typical.
9:04pm: Degree Deodorant ad says 1 in 4 people think they sweat too much. Is that true? I
know I do. Jesus.9:06pm: Blond lady is the missing person in the case. Her name is Christine Woods. Suspects: The angry Doctor! The cameraman is concerned about her. I suspect he's in on some stuff. Also, the journalist's son is dead. He died a year ago in Guatemala. Why is this relevant?
9:09pm: "42 hours missing" subtitle. Nice time-keeping subtitles. I dig.
9:10pm: The cops talk to an immigrant lady that knew the journalist. She doesn't want to go back to Guatemala. I guess she dated the dead son. Mentions how the journalist had an inside source on the hospital story. And apparently the immigrant girl (who's like 20) sleepwalks at night. WTF?
9:13pm: "43 hours missing." They trace a phone call and it's the same neighborhood as that shady Doctor. He has a deep, gritty voice. Oh man! He's the secret source and he yelled at the journalist to create a cover for her to look for her possibly not-dead son. He's actually a good guy. LEFT TURN!!! Some other immigrant guy came from Guatemala in a flashback and told the journalist her son is NOT DEAD but IN PRISON.
9:16pm: Some stupid Loew's ad where a guy keeps continually remodeling his house all because his wife keeps grimacing at him while folding her arms. Oh, look, the daughter does it too, how dreadfully cute. Suburbia is a wasteland.9:20pm: What? Big Brother is still on the air? Uggh, TV is the worse.
9:21pm: Flashback to Guatemala, son is alive, some dude is there at a table. The son mouths off some political beliefs. I smell trouble.
9:23pm: Office shot of a timeline where events happen. Ooh, just like real cops.
9:25pm: "50 hours missing." They visit a psychologist lady that knew the immigrant dude that knew the son. I guess the dude was a prisoner in some military prison. Generic shots of torture, dogs and water-boarding. Oh crap, this episode is going to get political. I hate this. The guy's name is Juan. He's now a cabbie in NYC. His torturer (Ortega) gets in a cab with him! OMG. Ortega has left his past behind to start again. Wow. Awkward. The psychologist told Christine about Ortega.
9:26pm: "52 hours missing." Video footage of Christine with Ortega at gunpoint shows up. Did she kidnap him??? LEFT TURN!!!
9:29pm: Mike Myers on Late Show tonight? No thanks.
Greatest American Dog? The reality-show? Reality stoops even lower.. (I am not a dog person).
9:33pm: Oh man, the dude from the flashback in Guatemala is actually a CIA contracted dude. He knows Ortega.
9:35pm: Dude says he wasn't involved in son's imprisonment in a flashback.
9:36pm: Ortega shows up alive in Christine's car. He took the gun, kicked her out and ran off. She is still missing. What the hell??? Ortega used to be a Professor in Guatemala before the government forced him to be a jerk. Bummer.
9:39pm: L-Pag gets an urgent call. The CIA guy wants to do a deal where they torture Ortega to find the journalist (his ex-girlfriend). L-Pag agrees despite his partner's (Lydia??) frowny-faced objection. This is bad news.
9:40pm: L-Pag leaves to go torture Ortega. He promises to stop it in case it goes too far. He's sensible.
9:41pm: Hahah, commercial for an actual missing person. Thanks, CBS, now I know you care.
9:44pm: Greastest American Dog commercial contestant quote, "my dog is my soul mate." Pathetic!
9:46pm: "68 hours missing." Ortega is in a stress position in hand-cuffs with heat lamps on him. L-Pag looks remorseful for agreeing to such a plan. The other cops frantically search for the journalist.
9:48pm: L-Pag wants to stop the torture. CIA wants to up the ante with a nail-gun (seriously). CIA guy busts out some shears to cut off fingers! Holy shit!
9:49pm: Ortega freaks out at the sight of the shears and says he told the journalist the son was alive at some rando prison. CIA guy gets mad and cuts off a thumb anyways. L-Pag freaks out and punches the CIA guy well after the line has been crossed. The shears fall to the floor and are covered in blood. This is dark.9:51pm: They interview the immigrant girl again cause apparently the journalist called her for a meeting. She flips out a bit and we learn she was also a torture victim.
9:54pm: Flashback. Immigrant girl tells journalist the son died of infections from a beating. He died because the girl named names for some political organization because she was tortured. The journalist forgives her. All seems cool.
9:55pm: Journalist promises to get the story known about how torture in Guatemala is bad. Fearing deportation, immigrant girl KILLS THE JOURNALIST!!!! What the hell??! LEFT TURN!!
Of course immigrant girl confesses to this in a routine conversation with cops without a lawyer present... Sooooo dumb.
9:56pm: Cameraman shows up to docks where they find the body. I guess he's really just a concerned coworker. Poor dude.
9:57pm: Office. Conclusionary crap. L-Pag mentions CIA guy is in custody for being a jerk. His partner Lydia seems pretty mad at him.
9:58pm: "What happened to you?" Seriously, L-Pag. What's the deal? Torture?
This office is really lit dramatically. I bet it's hard to do work there.
THE END
Conclusions:
1. Don't go to Guatemala. I guess it sucks.
2. Don't trust immigrant girls that sleepwalk.
3. Torture is cool as long as you stop it right after it's gone too far.
Labels: Random Real-Time Review, Sean, TV
This entry was posted by Sean, on
Wednesday, July 09, 2008.
You can leave your response.
Hahaha love the real-time review. Can't go wrong with a CBS procedural. Change the disappearance to a murder and it's CSI, change the setting from NY to Miami and you've got CSI: Miami, change the detectives to a SWAT team and you've got that new Flashpoint show, put the case in the past 30 years and you've got Cold Case, come up with a ludicrous math equation that explains the murder/disappearance and you've got Numbers.
I bet they just have a list of plot synopses and whatever show's writers are about to script an episode just picks one out of the "Plot Box" and adjusts the plot/characters so that it fits their format.
Hahaha, excellent post. You really sacrificed a lot by forcing yourself to watch an hour of "Without a Trace" for bloggy glory. It is jarring to see how much plot they can fit into even ten minutes of an ep of WAT, let alone an entire hour.
If The Wire used time-telling subtitles, that would be dope. (I'm practicing my 1994 slang for the inevitable pop culture phenomenon that is "The Wackness" -- it's totally the new "Juno".)
Chris, don't forget -- it's
"Numb3rs"!!!
what is this "the wackness"?
Ugh, talk about hype fatigue. The Wackness went from "I'd see that," to "Wow could there be any more internet buzz? Whatever, I'll still see it," to "How is this movie not out yet? I will see it, and try my best to for my own honest opinion, but oh how I hate when this happens to movies."
I could never really get into CBS's murder-mystery cop shows. No matter how many of them they produce, they'll never live up to Law and Order.
I'm just here to provide the mandatory mention that Blogulator friend The Drax casts extras on Numb3rs.
All versions of Law and Order is indeed infinitely better than any CBS procedural. What exactly makes them so much better? Less ADD-tastic? Better actors? Less diversionary plot tactics? What do you guys think?
The Drax also casts for Drake and Josh (or casted, if that show isn't on anymore) and one of those actors (I forget which and don't really care to look it up) is the lead in The Wackness. FULL CIRCLE!!!!!
yeah, what the hell is The Wackness??? you never answered that question. way to be diversionary.
Haha sorry, I thought you were making a joke. It's a new hyped indie movie that takes place in 1994 where a kid just out of high school who deals pot starts seeing a therapist, played by Ben Kingsley, who ends up smoking the kid's pot and making out with Mary-Kate Olsen in a phone booth. I assume one or both of them learns something about growing up as well.
I think it might be the mere fact that CBS has chosen quantity over quality when it comes to their procedurals. You'd think that producing so many of the same show would make you an expert, but it is exactly the opposite for CBS.
What makes L&O work is the bigger-name actors, the concentrated promotion of a single series, far less unbelievable twists, and the fact that sometimes they solve the case but the criminal gets away because of flaws in the justice system.
I think the overall understatedness of the acting, situations, production value, etc. makes the L&O franchise much more artistically relevent. Your CSI / Without a Trace / Cold Case type of shows rely much more heavily on crazy camera work, technology, and eight-hundred twists in ten minutes, and beating on the Guatamalans. L&O at least seems like it is actually filmed in the city for the most part, as well.
leave a response