Pop Hero (or not)

I'm sure I've gone on this rant before, but why do perfectly good actresses have to go and ruin their credibility as quickly as they gain it? Every freakin' actress under age 30 has some sort of biological pop sensation clock incessantly ticking inside of her, causing her to trade in valuable time that could be spent on other great acting projects for the fated-to-turn-out-horribly pop princess dream. It didn't work very well for Jennifer Love Hewitt. It definitely didn't work for Paris Hilton. And I don't know why Lindsay Lohan keeps trying! Whatever happened to developing and nurturing your true talents - you know, the things you're actually good at? These celebrities, they want it all. They think they need to be a triple threat - model, actress, and singer. Don't these women have parents who sit them down and have "the talk" about realistic career paths like the rest of us?

Now, I must clarify that I am not talking about all those Disney Channel actress-singers. That's a whole other category that I'm going to choose to ignore for the time being. Nor am I talking about Scarlett Johansson's Tom Waits cover album, (which I actually enjoyed because she wasn't trying to make the cookie-cutter Billboard hit).

No, this rant is about the new Hayden Panettiere single. I know she's hot and can do no wrong in some people's eyes, but put that aside as you watch this video. Then we'll discuss...

Ok, maybe I don't get this song completely. It seems her boyfriend isn't paying very much attention to her and is going out to the club to hit on other women, so her solution is to show up in disguise (read: in a wig) and try to get his attention. That won't solve anything! The premise gave me the same level of discomfort I felt as a kid when watching Jerica seduce her boyfriend, Rio, as her alter-ego, Jem, in Jem and the Holograms. I wouldn't want my boyfriend falling for me in disguise. More importantly, does this song topic mean there's trouble in paradise for Hayden and Milo Ventimiglia? Cause I don't mind taking sloppy seconds on this one. He is haaaaaaawwwwtttttttttt.....wait, where was I? Oh, yeah the video.

The lyrics aren't the only awkward part of that song. The out-of-place punching gestures and the rap-like "breakdown" in the middle made me too embarrassed on Hayden's behalf to even find them funny, much less laugh. And the shots of her trying to "sexily" put on her jeans...it seems like she's having trouble fitting into them. Having trouble zipping up your pants = the opposite of sexy. Likewise, whatever Hayden's putting on her teeth in the mirror shot isn't adding much sex appeal either. Is the mystery substance toothpaste or is it Vaseline to keep her smiling?

But it's not all bad, Hayden. At least you can't possibly do worse than Heidi Montag's Higher from earlier this year. Check it out the tremendous terribleness of this one...

Well, really I'm all for experimenting with new job skilz, and whatever happens with Hayden's singing career is totally fine by me so long as we keep getting more Heroes.

This entry was posted by Lady Amy, on Monday, July 21, 2008. You can leave your response.