Things We Lost in the Fire...at Universal Studios

It's a crazy world out there, bloguteers. A crazy world full of bad news! I know that media outlets generally report more death and destruction than stories with positive outcomes, but this week seemed especially tragic. We lost world-renowned guitarist, Bo Diddley on Monday. Kelsey Grammer, a.k.a. Doctor Frasier Crane, had a heart attack. Senator Ted Kennedy is having brain surgery. And Clay Aiken has a baby mama! Just think of all those albino alien babies walking around singing Spamalot songs!

Yes, it has most definitely been a treacherous past couple of days, plagued with loss. Someone has to be the bearer of bad news to the blog-munity, and it might as well be me. So prepare yourselves for what may be one of the most depressing blog posts yet as I share with you some of this week's losses:

1) Universal Studios lost...

...the illusion that they actually film on location. About two square blocks on the Universal Studios lot were set ablaze by workers with blow torches this weekend. When I first read this, I thought that only the King Kong exhibit was affected, but later learned that sets designed to look like New York City streets were among the areas destroyed. Not that I really believed all NYC based shows were actually filmed in the Big Apple, but being flat-out told about the fake scenery in a news article was kind of like revealing the man behind the curtain. Also ruined in the blaze was the famous courthouse set from Back to the Future. I'm curious to see whether or not they actually rebuild it. I can't imagine this specific set is all that useful, since that well-known courthouse would be pretty difficult to logically incorporate into other movies.

2) Courtney Love lost...

...Kurt Cobain - again. Apparently someone broke into Courtney Love's house and stole a heart-shaped purse that contained Kurt Cobain's ashes. The details are a bit fuzzy as to whether they were actually stolen or taken by a friend, but regardless, this whole story is disgusting on multiple levels. First, who keeps their husband's ashes in a purse?! Which only makes me wonder how often Courtney Love has walked around Hollywood with Cobain's ashes slung over her shoulder in a cute bag to match her dress. It gives me the creeps just thinking about it. Second, once you steal Kurt Cobain's ashes, what do you even do with them? You can't really sell them on Ebay. I suppose you could keep them, but that doesn't really get you anywhere.

3) Straight men all over the world lost...

...their chance to get it on with Lindsay Lohan, who is now pulling a Marissa Cooper (aka suddenly deciding she's into chicks). For all the crap Lindsay Lohan has received for drug addictions, alcohol abuse, etc., etc., the media is kind of glossing over this one. Most of the stories about her relationship with deejay Samantha Ronson barely even mention the fact that they're together. Even their lip-smacking on Diddy's yacht didn't draw as much attention as I would have expected. My theory is that Hollywood is a bit uncomfortable with one of their socialites batting for the other team and perhaps don't know how to cover the story. What do you think, fellow blogulites?

And finally, I think it's about time for another segment of:

ANGRY AMY!!!

You know what makes me angry? The profuse matchmaking that is going on between actors and indie rockers! Yeah, you probably all knew about Natalie Portman and Devendra Banhart, but there are more. Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams, Andy Samberg and Joanna Newsom, Fred Armisen and Petra Hayden, and Mischa Barton and the guitarist from Rooney! Ok, ok, none of these indie rockers are all that attractive, but what if celebs start branching out into the Colin Meloy's (of Decemberists fame) or, dare I say it, the Yoni Wolf's (of Why?) of this world! I'll never stand a chance! And that's what makes me so darn angry!

This entry was posted by Lady Amy, on Monday, June 02, 2008. You can leave your response.