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Cable Television Rundown: Let's hear some Breaking Bad theories, people.

Once upon a time there was a show that came into my life and afforded me not only hours of viewing pleasure but, perhaps more importantly, hours of hypothesizing, arguing, re-hypothesizing, and speculating pleasure.

I'm talking, of course, about LOST.

I came to LOST late in the game, but I caught up quickly, sometimes avoiding family and friends for days so that I could watch just ONE MORE EPISODE!!! And once I did catch up, I found that the true joy to be derived from a show like LOST is not really in the watching, but in the discussion that it prompted with fellow LOST viewers. Half the fun of watching LOST was the theories--reading about them, arguing over them, and creating some of our own.

Well, I haven't been able to flex my theory muscle in awhile, and that saddens me. Last night I was watching episodes of season three of Breaking Bad, and I thought "why not theorize about other shows?" So, good friends, here are my top Breaking Bad theories. If you watch the show yourself, I urge you to add your own in the comments section. If you are not caught up on your season three episodes, beware the *MAJOR SPOILERS* below. If you don't watch Breaking Bad at all...what's wrong with you? Seriously. Just watch it. You won't regret it.

Theory 1: There is no baby.
I think that "Holly," the "baby" that was "born" when Walt had to make a huge drug deal which caused him to miss her birth, exists only in Walt's head. Think about it--we haven't seen this baby in some time. Where is she? I think she is just a manifestation of Walt's guilt and sense of conflicted obligation toward his family.

Theory 2: As Walt becomes less of a villain, Jesse will become more of a villain.
OK, this is my only real theory. But it's a good one! I think that in seasons one and two Walt's character becomes less and less likable as he goes from a man who is only trying to provide for his family to a man who just wants more and more money and power. He becomes less sympathetic as that second season progresses, and Jesse becomes more sympathetic. Jesse grows from an irresponsible drug dealer (and user) to a more dynamic (if somewhat pathetic) character. We learn that his family has abandoned him, that he has no real friends, and then when Jane dies (at Walt's hands) he loses everything. By the end of season two, Walt is pretty despicable, but Jesse is now the underdog that we really want to see succeed.

In season three, Jesse seems like he's improving his life--he goes to rehab, he wants to get out of the game (sort of). But once again he has no place to turn. Meanwhile, Walt loses everything, and begins to regain some of his humanity as we see he does sort of care about his family. After Jesse is beaten up by Hank, he seems to lose any last trace of wanting to get his life together. At the end of the last episode I saw, Jesse had planted his friends at an NA meeting in order to gain new customers. That's pretty bad...and I don't think it's something that Jesse of season two could have done. Walt, on the other hand, still wants to provide for his family, and it seems like his softer side is coming back a bit.

Theory 3: That Pollo guy (Gus) is not to be trusted.
I don't trust this guy. My theory is that he won't like Walt threatening him and will act like Walt's friend, but he isn't really his friend. He's just looking out for Number One. Watch out, Walt!

Theory 4: Skylar is a grade A jerk face.
I was so bummed when Skylar made that speech (full of lies) to Marie about how Walt earned his money gambling. She made Walt sympathetic (this is when I think Walt remembered why he really starting cooking in the first place, and sort of had an "oh yeah, I'm NOT just the bad guy" realization) as she went on and on about how he did it because he was too proud to accept charity, and he needed to provide for his family, etc. I was all happy for a moment, thinking that maybe Skylar was coming around, and really felt these things about Walt. Was she ready to forgive? But then when Marie left, Skylar snapped at Walt saying that she thinks Hank was injured because of him and that he needed to provide for Hank--basically telling Walt that Hank's blood was on his hands. Was Skylar just bullshitting with Marie, or did she really sort of believe that Walt did what he thought he had to do? Was this scene a fantastic display of Skylar's internal conflict regarding her feelings toward Walt, or did it just show us what a good liar she can be? Do we trust her?

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