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Stars: They're Nothing Like Us (Jailbird Edition)

Nothing screams "I respect you" like the words "f*&# you." Especially when those words are directed at a judge in your probation hearing. And really especially when you stealthily paint said words in tiny font on your body - (almost like a private, internal joke meant to remain between you and yourself because simply thinking "eff you" isn't enough) - when you are at your most photographed moment and about to be sentenced to jail time because you weren't respectful enough of the terms of your previous probation.

Still, for some reason, offense was taken at the "F*** U" airbrushed on Lindsay Lohan's fingernails during her probation violation trial, where she was begging for mercy on the judge's 90-day jail sentence. According to People:
"I did everything I was told to do, I thought I was being compliant," Lohan, 24, cried as she tried to explain that she didn't knowingly violate her probation in a DUI case by missing weekly alcohol-education classes. "I'm not taking this as a joke, it's my life and career. I don't want you to think I don't respect you and your terms."
The cosmetic profanity was simply Lindsay's way of showing the judge that she is taking her DUI probation very seriously. Coincidentally, according to another People article, Lindsay tweeted that her nail job was just a joke. Now I'm not sure what is so funny about the "F" word, but at minimum this was a very poorly-timed joke. And it seems like Lindsay's like is nothing but a series of poorly-timed jokes. I do sincerely feel badly for her.

Never mind. No, I don't. Lindsay needs a class in comedic timing at the very least. Or maybe even more rudimentary than that: Comedy 101 - What is a Joke? In said class, she will learn things like:

1) Appropriate places/times for jokes
2) How to not look trashy (gotta establish some cred to pull off your jokes!)
3) A drugged-up joke is never a funny joke
4) Punchlines: how to complete a joke
5) Do jokes have to be funny? (*spoiler alert - the answer is yes*)

So in summary, Linsday Lohan is up to her antics again. And once again the world is not on her side.

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  1. Blogger Papa Thor | 7:13 AM |  

    I don't know what's more disturbing: the fact that she wrote that (more accurately had that written) on her fingernail, or that someone zoomed in on her picture to see what she had written? Why don't these people work for SETI?

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