Off The Couch And Into The Theater: August 2009

No nostalgia fest this week, folks. My sincerest apologies. But if you didn't catch my rundown of the Top Ten 90s Soundtrack Songs on Pajiba last week, surely that will tide you over. Especially with all those catty comments at the end of it from the Internet goblins! And of course we'll delve into the depths of 1992 next Tuesday to continue my Quest for the Single Finest Film of Our Generation. In the meantime, we must focus on the present. Or the near future, rather, as we look into what bountiful gifts of cinema the indian summer month of August has in store for us. July did quite adequately, with two movies I liked a lot but not sure if I loved (the tense but kinda simple Moon and the inventive but kinda empty (500) Days of Summer) and two movies that I thought were going to suck turned out to be just okay (the gorgeous but inert Public Enemies and the more-clever-than-expected but still largely dumb Bruno). I'm still crossing my fingers that at least one more slam dunk comes my way before the summer ends. Check out this month's releases (with "Will I See It?" percentages in parentheses) and let me know what you're most psyched about in the comments...

Aug 7th: I never played with G.I. Joes when I was a kid and when I first heard about G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (52%), I completely dismissed it as a movie in the vein of the other huge blockbuster franchise based on nostalgic action figures that I never played with. But not only did I end up seeing Transformers, which featured no actors I cared about, save John Turturro, G.I. Joe features Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Mr. Eko from Lost, Jonathan Pryce, and Dennis Effing Quaid. Meanwhile, I would only be slightly more surprise if I end up seeing Julie & Julia (49%), featuring Amy Adams as a food blogger who idolizes Julia Child and Meryl Streep as Julia Child. With an interesting narrative structure, a positive book review from OHD, and my crush on Amy Adams all in play here, who knows. Paper Heart (69%) with Michael Cera and the awkward smiling girl from Knocked Up looks like (500) Days of Summer meets Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, and thus, the indie hipster marketing prolly sucks me once more. A Perfect Getaway (43%) features Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich, Timothy Olyphant, and co. getting killed off one by one on an island. Sounds like a fun bad movie night or a boring bad movie night. Or both. The Cove (11%) is a documentary that examines a clandestine dolphin fishing hole off the coast of Japan. I care about dolphins but I could not stomach watching them get fished. This guy would agree with me. End of The Line (2%) is another fishing documentary, but this one's just about regular fish. I could stomach that, but regular fish I don't care about. Sorry. Go dolphins! The Answer Man (20%) is a romantic dramedy between bookworm Jeff Daniels and single mother Lauren Graham. Yawwwwwwwwn.

Aug 14th: I usually don't seek out movie trailers to write this feature, but I had to in order to understand District 9 (88%), which looks like basically Independence Day filmed like a cross between a Nightline special and Cloverfield. A spaceship of creatures is sequestered in a remote part of Africa and an international debate arises about what to do with them. Bizarre, interesting, and it could be totally lame. The Goods: Live Hard Sell Hard (58%) is Jeremy Piven's chance to get on board the Will Ferrell gimmick comedy train as a used car salesman, and while I hate Entourage and haven't liked a Will Ferrell movie like this since Anchorman, I continue to see them. The Time Traveler's Wife (23%) looks schmaltzy and is based on a schmaltzy best-seller, yes, but I do like time travel. But Rachel McAdams does make my tummy hurt. And something tells me time travel won't be the centerpiece of this film. Post Grad (15%) features the other Gilmore Girl, Alexis Bledel, as a college grad that moves back home, aimless, and yup, you guessed it...ready for love! Bledel's adorable, but something tells me GG is the only thing she was ever right for, and ever will be. Ponyo (78%) is an animated Japanese film about a goldfish that wishes it were human that will get the dubbing treatment featuring the voices of Tina Fey, Cate Blanchett, Matt Damon, and more for its stateside release. The pastel style looks impressive, but the story sounds flat. Not Quite Hollywood (9%) documents a supposedly "outrageous" time in Australian filmmaking: the 1970s. Wasn't everything crazy then? The content sparks an interest, but it just makes me want to see the actual movies it talks about rather than watch people talk about movies I've never heard of. Spread (24%) stars the Kutch as a lothario (ha!) who resides and dines in luxury with his sugar mama Anne Heche, who I assume at some point finds out he's not really after her for her looks/personality. Wah wah. Adam (63%) is a more grounded version of that Christina Ricci picture Pumpkin in which a man with Asberger's Syndrome finds love...or does he? Yes, but do her parents approve? Maybe. I dunno, it's prolly formulaic, but it looks genuinely sweet to me.

Aug 21st: The only reason Tarantino's latest Inglourious Bastards (99%) doesn't get a full count from me is that I don't know who will go with me to see it. No, his WWII epic hasn't gotten good advance press (just like another fave director's attempt at a similar genre pic last year with Miracle at St. Anna, which I still haven't seen yet), but at least this still looks like a Tarantino flick. Exploitative, over the top, and sensational, yes, but entertaining as all get out. And the climax takes place in a movie theater! I love it already! The only other release set for this week is the limited foreign film Lorna's Silence (13%), which looks both dreadfully dreary and pulsingly dramatic all at once. Albanian Lorna marries Belgian dude so she can start her dream business in Belgium, but of course, the plan doesn't work out so smoothly.

Aug 28th: Oh c'mon. It's just confusing when you name a sequel to a remake Halloween II (0.666%). I never saw Rob Zombie's original "reimagining" from Myers' POV and I'm not all that curious since getting scarred by The Devil's Rejects back in the day, but WTF? Brad Dourif AND Howard Hesseman? What is the world coming to? No one I've talked to is excited about Taking Woodstock (71%), but I can't help but hold out hope that Ang Lee knows what he's doing and will make it a magical experience. Wow I sound like an idiot when I say that. The newly titled The Final Destination (666%), originally called Final Destination: Death Trip 3D, will be the perfect cap to end the summer. I trust that the brilliant minds behind this decade's best death scenes will one-up the 3D adequacy of My Bloody Valentine earlier this year. While I never got the appeal of Paul Giamatti, Cold Souls (91%), in which he plays an actor who hires a new service to extract his soul so he can properly inhabit a role in a challenging Chekhov play. Sounds like Charlie Kaufman retread, but it's about time people started ripping him off more. I'm psyched. Not only do I not get his appeal, but I straight up loathe Robing Williams, so despite the fact that World's Greatest Dad (40%) has a teacher-friendly premise (sounds like he may even poke fun at his famous Dead Poets Society role) and that it's directed AND written by (no, you are not dreaming) Bobcat Goldthwait, it's still about a self-depracating teacher wishing he was famous. That hurts yo. And lastly, Yoo Hoo Mrs. Goldberg (43%) is yet another documentary, this time chronicling the life and times of the little known Gertrude Berg, who was called "the first lady of television," having written tens of thousands of scripts (more than any other woman of her generation and even most men) and fought aggressively against the 1950s blacklist. Interesting, but can it hold my attentions for two hours? Maybe.

This entry was posted by chris, on Tuesday, August 04, 2009. You can leave your response.