Ad it Up: How to "Be Mayo"

There has been this disgusting billboard at the edge of downtown Minneapolis, that has been irking me for several weeks now. It is has a picture of a guy chillin' and just says, "Don't be so Mayo." To me, mayonnaise is about the grossest substance on earth, so for the first couple of times I saw the sign I had to turn away to prevent puking. After a while, I would just stare at the billboard in disgust until finally it occurred to me to try to figure out what the ad was even for. With no product name or picture to help me out, I was stuck. Here, you try:

Answer: Miracle Whip.

Miracle Whip (which I previously thought WAS mayo) is actually to mayonnaise what Cool Whip is to whipped cream. So now the ad makes a bit more sense -- or does it? "Don't Be So Mayo?" What does that even mean? How can one "be mayo?" From the billboard, I don't really get a sense of whether this guy is or is not "mayo." Am I supposed to want to be like him or hate him? On the one hand, he looks pretty douchey, but on the other hand he seems pretty chilled out. I am at a loss.

With such a vague picture to go on, I was forced to take my question to the YouTube for a better visual. There, I discovered that "being mayo" was a lot worse than just being douchey.



Being mayo is being boring. Being mayo is never smiling, having fun, or doing your own thing. Being mayo is not living life to the fullest. Being mayo is blindly following the crowd. Being mayo is not having synchronized dances at rooftop parties. Being mayo is being a sheep!!

I always thought that it was my truck or my computer or my energy drink that defined me. It never occurred to me that my sandwich spread could represent my personality too! Well, since I like to live on the edge, I will choose the condiment that shares my refusal to tone it down. It's Miracle Whip for me. Whew.

But if living on the edge is not as convincing an argument for you, perhaps we can find something that will sell you on the benefits of Miracle Whip if we trace its advertisement history back through the years:

2004 -- Cultural references a little too late

Remember that really long Tom Hanks movie where he talks to a volleyball on an island for 90% of it? That came out in 2000. Apparently, spoofing it was still funny in 2004 -- at least according to Miracle Whip. If you agree, perhaps this ad will work on you:



1985 -- Sex Appeal and Food

I'm pretty sure this commercial is the basis for King of Queens-type sitcoms. Fat guy married to an overly understanding woman who stands by him even though his every thought -- including his wet dreams -- involve food. Sexy, huh? How delightfully sublime to have a scary orgasm over a whip-less sandwich.



1979 -- Anthropomorphism!

If neither sex appeal nor the promise of a good life get to you, then there's only one avenue left to explore. Anthropomorphic hamburgers! If you care for none of marketing's other promises, then all you really need are dancing and singing food items.



After all this, only one question remains. Are YOU going to be an individual, or are you going to be so mayo?

This entry was posted by Lady Amy, on Wednesday, July 08, 2009. You can leave your response.