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Pop fashion: The return of Tyra!!

Wednesday nights are back! Tonight is the premiere of the 12th cycle of America's Next Top Model, and I'm so excited I could something. Before actually viewing tonight's episode, I'd like to make a few predictions about what I think this cycle has in store (as well as the actual results of last night's two hour episode...)


My prediction:

Tyra Banks will break yet another stereotype and America will become just a little more accepting of others. Autism, fatties, transgendered individuals...these are just a few of the many things that Tyra made "OK" for the American public. What will this cycle hold?
What really happened:
This season we get to learn about TWO different kinds of people: epileptics and burn victims (and Kelly Taylor thought she couldn't be a model after she was in that fire! Way to bust that stereotype wide open, Tyra!). I can't wait! Some lesser stereotypes we get to bust are old people can't be models (one girl is 25) and Christians can't be models (one girl is a self-described "street preacher"). (Editor's note: Sadly, the epileptic was eliminated in the second half of the episode. I guess we won't learn about epilepsy and modeling this season.)

My prediction:
There will be at least one scene in which someone cries while explaining to Tyra why being a model would somehow validate her worth as a person and finally help her to overcome her traumatic childhood.
What really happened:
This happened too many times to count before the initial group elimination even happened. Most noteworthy was one woman who just kept crying and saying "I can't go back to Buffalo!" Spoiler alert: she went back to Buffalo.

My prediction:
At least one contestant will be fighting for the title of America's Next Top Model in order to give her daughter/son a better life.
What really happened:
So far, no kids...I was wrong about this one, which is disappointing. Oh well.


My prediction:

Tyra will say that at least one of the models, in some way, reminds her of an inferior version of herself, and will take some time to say how when she was young and trying to make it, there was no one like a benevolent Tyra to help her out and give her career a jump start. She had to make it on her own!
What really happened:
While this did not directly happen (yet), the model's brownstone is completely covered with photos of Tyra, and she made her first appearance on the show dressed as a goddess, called herself the Goddess of Fierce, and said that she had reigned for thousands of years but now needs to find a replacement.

My prediction:

One of the contestants will comment on how another contestant is a b****.
What really happened:
A real fight broke out before the initial elimination, complete with hands in people's faces and hissing noises. And apparently it's OK to say b**** on the CW. Other words were bleeped out, however.

My prediction:

The girls will scream like crazed fans every time Tyra appears, as if they keep forgetting that they are on America's Next Top Model.
What really happened:
The girls screamed like craze fans every time Tyra appeared, as if they kept forgetting that they were on America's Next Top Model.

My prediction:
We'll get to see how last cycle's winner (whom I've already completely forgotten...what was her name?) is faring as America's Top Model, and by the end of the show I'll have a strange urge to go out and purchase Cover Girl products so that I, too, can be a winner.
What really happened:
I do want to use Cover Girl products, but there was no (recognizable) shot of last cycle's winner. I did recognize Whitney in one commercial, though.

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  1. Blogger qualler | 9:51 AM |  

    McKay! That was America's Last Top Model. Last cycle was extremely lacking in crazies, but it already appears cycle 12 is making up for that hardcore. Can't wait to see more of the crazy street preacher and the super, super old lady (25), Celia.

  2. Blogger qualler | 9:55 AM |  

    Also, by Whitney, do you mean Cycle 10 winner Whitney, or Whitney Port of The City/Hills fame?

  3. Blogger chris | 10:23 AM |  

    Ah, everything feels normal again. ANTM blog posts somehow soothe my soul. It's like having a regular bowel movement.

  4. Blogger Lady Amy | 2:01 PM |  

    Ew, Chris! No one wants to hear about regular bowel movements - except for maybe old people who jealously sip their prune juice as they listen with intent.

    I thought for sure that there would be at least one blind or deaf person on the show. That hasn't been done on ANTM, right?

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