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Cable Television Rundown: Through the Looking Glass...of LOST

So I hear there's this show on TV called LOST that some people like to watch a lot. Something about some people on some island and weird sh*t happens all the time, like people's dead fathers showing up, guitars being in trees, bees, preggers ladies who need water, polar bears, radio transmission signals, and such. Yes, it's true -- Chris finally got Brigitte and I to successfully watch the first disc of the first season of LOST and we are officially hooked. LOCKE CAN WALK ON THE ISLAND BUT NOT OFF THE ISLAND WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!? OMG Sawyer is so AWESOME!!! He's already definitely a top five television character of all time! Speaking of other top five television characters of all time...

Nip/Tuck...Christian Troy should be freaking dead by now. FX finally wrapped the strike-interrupted fifth season the same way the whole season had gone -- with hints of past greatness unable to break through the barriers of lazy writing. The whole "Christian has breast cancer" development at the beginning of the second half of the season showed promise of reinvigorating what made the show great in its early seasons -- crazy, ridiculous plots that also show the messed up nature of the characters. Instead, though, the writers milked none of it for drama, instead relying on episodes like the one involving finding his eventual replacement at McNamera/Troy, who had a, um, let's just say a fetish for furniture. Perhaps the strongest episode involved a kid who had non-stop warts, which tied into Christian's feelings of self-mutilation...or maybe I'm reading too much into it and it was just a case of the writers saying "hey wouldn't that be gross to have a guy who keeps getting warts?" The season finale involved Christian getting a gotcha "hey, actually your cancer is in remission" call after he for some reason married lesbian anesthesiologist Liz, while Sean apparently got addicted to nitrous oxide. Well, they could probably do something with that next season, which is thankfully its last. Maybe the last season will snap the writers into attention. Still, what a bore. Speaking of bores, how about that BOAR THAT JUST CHASED CHARLIE AND NOW HE'S NEGOTIATING WITH LOCKE TO GIVE HIM HIS DRUGS AND NOW HERE'S THE OPENING TITLE AFTER THE COLD OPEN I LOVE LOST.

Damages: Don't worry I won't spoil anything about this season, other than that it starts slower than the first season does, but then gets better, but I still miss Zelkjo Ivanic more than words can describe (Editor's note: the actor showed up in last night's episode of Big Love!!!), but Tate Donovan is still great, and Ted Danson still impresses me, and William Hurt's kind of annoying, but Tom Noonan is the shizz. Oh, and what a great opportunity to put Rawls and Lester Freamon from The Wire together again. And Darrell Hammond??? As a skeezy dude??? WHAT??? Please, FX, don't cancel this show. Please? I'll do whatever it takes -- even if that means listening to Charlie's band, DriveShaft, and listening to "You All, Everybody" over and over again. Wait, what? Why is he in CONFESSION?!?!? WHY WAS HIS GUITAR IN THE TREE?!?!?!?

Big Love/Flight of the Conchords/Eastbound and Down: I'll write more about HBO's current Sunday night lineup after the trio's season finale on March 22; needless to say, is currently far and away HBO's best drama on its schedule, Flight of the Conchords has strengthened its formula to become a better overall show, even if you believe the internet haters who think the songs this season are "not as good" (spoiler alert: they are just as good), and Eastbound and Down has shown that it is possible to feel sympathy for a guy who says things like "I'm not a xenophobe, I just think America is a better country than every other country". Also, it's laugh-out-loud hilarious in its crudeness while still maintaining its intelligent undercurrent while benefitting from the trendy slacker-stoner style directing from Pineapple Express director David Gordon Green (I know, I know, he also directed good, serious movies, too; lay off me.) Yes, I guess you could say it's a lot like Charlie from LOST being more like a moth, in that moths are not as universally beloved as butterflies, but they weave silk. And HBO be weavin' some silk.

Coming soon...
HBO premieres The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency on March 29, which, if it can avoid the kitchiness of the promos and focus on the beautiful landscapes, charming characters, and ever-so-artistically demonstrate the positives of living in a country that values relationships over materialism, should be a winner. (And the late Anthony Minghella's involvement at least guarantees that it will be beautifully shot.) April 5/6 brings season two of In Treatment, and need I describe my devotion to Gabriel Byrne any further than I have in the past? Rescue Me also begins April 7 on FX, with an incredibly long cable season of 22 episodes. Hopefully Denis Leary's stopped raping his wife like he did in the third season, cuz that was the last time I saw him and I wasn't a big fan. Meanwhile, Deadwood alum Ian McShane's NBC alternate-reality-but-not-Watchmen serial drama Kings premieres next Sunday, and I will no doubt be relishing any return of anything close to anybody like Al Swearengen. You know, not dissimilar to the redemption everyone feels when they find Jack again after getting stuck in an avalanche.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some more LOST to watch.

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  1. Blogger chris | 9:48 AM |  

    Hahaha I definitely need Lost updates from you two as often as you can offer them. It's so amazing that you're WTFing over things like the guitar in the tree and Locke being able to walk (I surely was too when I watched S1) considering the stuff that's going on in the show now.

    IT ONLY GETS WACKIER.

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